For the first 50 years of my life, my perfectionist self mistakenly believed it was all about knowing more, getting it right, planning, attempting to prevent bad things from happening, and keeping all of my chicks in a row. It took me this long to discover that the JOURNEY is all that matters. This quote from Gilda Radner sums it all up:

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
"


Wednesday, February 29, 2012

No Ifs, Ands, or Butts

I know it's not right to BUTT into other people's lives.
I can't understand why they do the things they do.
I don't know their situation.
I do know there must be a better way to deal with it.
Butt then again, they do too!
Everyone does nowadays.

I had my furnace cleaned and serviced yesterday.
As I ushered the nice young man to the basement
where the furnace is located, it was VERY evident.
He is a smoker.
As we chatted for a few minutes, it took almost all of
my willpower not to say something to him.

As I am waiting at a traffic light
and glance to the driver in the car next to me
and see a young girl with her window
cracked open so she can blow the smoke outside,
I want to get out of the car and shake her.
But I don't.

When I go to a doctor's appointment near the hospital
and I see nurses and doctors standing outside smoking,
I want to get out of the car and ask them why.
I feel angry inside, but I drive by.

I'm not angry at them.
I know they would rather not be smoking.
They are nice people.
They are smart people.
They are caring people.
I'm not judging them.

They can't stop.

It's just that the sight or smell of cigarettes immediately
bring me to places I don't like to be:

-  Where I am a little girl riding in a car with my
    turtleneck pulled over my nose, trying not to
    gag on my parents' cigarette smoke.

-  Where I tell my parents the only thing I want for
    my birthday is for them to quit smoking.

-  Where Mom repeatedly tries to quit smoking
    but is never successful.

-  Where I get a call from my father telling me
    Mom went to the hospital last night because
    she couldn't get her breath.

-  When Mom in NOW able to quit smoking.
    And so is my Dad.  A little too late.

-  When Mom can't go anywhere without her oxygen.

-   When Mom dies from throat cancer at the young
    age of 78.

-   When Dad has a stroke and dies less than 2 years later.

-   When I would really like to share something with my Mom
     and Dad and I remember they're gone.


When I see these young, healthy people smoking,
I want to ask them:

If, in the next moment, you couldn't take another breath
without an oxygen tube attached to your face,
would you be able to quit?

If so, why not just do it now?
No ifs, ands, or butts.

Your kids and future grand-kids would thank you for it.














1 comment:

  1. I wonder if those young smokers know how DISGUSTING they smell? It's sad, really. So addictive...the cigarette companies make them overly addictive so you just CAN'T quit. It's shameful.
    The only way to get around it is to never ever start.

    ReplyDelete