Blessings in Disguise

"There are no mistakes, no coincidences. 
All events are blessings given to us to learn from. "
                   ~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

When things happen in my life,  I trust that there is a reason.

The reason is not always evident at the time, but looking back

I can see the good that came about, the change it may have forced

upon me, or the growth that occurred because of it.

It's the unpleasant events I am referring to now.

After all, we don't usually try to find reasons for the joyful ones.

Perhaps it's just my way of dealing with the difficult ones, like

loss, sadness, disappointment, and despair.

This past month, my family has experienced things that stop and make

you think.

One such event was the hospitalization of my husband, Vance.

Totally healthy one day, and a few days later - not.

After bringing him to the Emergency Room one day a few weeks ago

and coming home alone with no answers to his unbearable headaches

and fever, I lay awake for much of the night with my mind racing.

I thought about all he means to our family.

And  I thought about what our lives would be like without him.

I can't really speak for the kids, but possibly a few of these same

thoughts could have crossed their minds too because Adam and Kerry

came home from college to spend time in the hospital with him.

And I'm sure over the past three weeks that Vance has contemplated

many things too.

We have discovered that Vance has Legionnaire's Disease that

he picked up while at a business conference in Utah earlier in September.

He's recovering - although more slowly than we imagined - but home

from the hospital and doing well.

Is it weird for me to think, even now, that this was a blessing in disguise?

Back in Time

I would never have thought of this today if it wasn't for my son, Adam.
When I woke up this morning and got on Facebook, there was a message
from Adam with a link to a lullabye we used to listen to.
He and his friends were talking about lullabies last night - a likely
conversation for college seniors, I guess!

It started bringing back memories of those days when the nightly
routine included putting a lullabye tape into the Fisher Price tape
player and rocking the youngest child to sleep.

Annie was home sick from school this morning and we began
looking up the old familiar lullabyes on youtube.

I was amazed how easy it was to remember every word -
and both Annie and I sang along to our favorites.

Then I downloaded our two favorite CD's from iTunes so
we will have them in the coming years when there will
once again be a little one to rock to sleep ( I hope).

Until then,  I can look back on our home videos to a time when
Annie was 2 years old and I was still in my 30's.

The sound and video quality is a little fuzzy, but you can get the gist!

Oh, how much I'd love to go back in time and do this once again!

Lucky

 I will never forget this baby squirrel that I met back in 2003.

The kids found it on the ground, probably pushed from the nest by its mother.

They tried to put it back on the tree, but it was too weak to climb back up.
 
When they called me outside to see it, they had put it in a laundry basket
with some soft grass as a cushion.  They were going to save it.

They named it "Lucky".

After examining "Lucky" more closely, I realized it was not an appropriate name.
Under its fur, it was crawling with maggots.  I had to break the news to the kids.

 They didn't want "Lucky" to get attacked by any animals, so they built him a little
 shelter at the base of the tree out of duck tape. 

"Lucky" didn't make it.


Jump forward to 2012 - just last week.

I had just gotten out of the shower when I heard a soft knock on the bathroom door.

It was Kerry and she was holding a little creature in my blue dishtowel.

She had found it on the back porch after our cat Maddie had a little play time with it.

It was cold. wet and shaking. 

 And apparently had escaped any serious injuries.  The fur on its tail had been stripped away, but it would grow back.

We didn't know what it was, but we narrowed it down to either a baby squirrel or a chipmunk.

Kerry found an old shoe box and placed him gently inside.

She added some corn treats and some bird seed.

It wasn't long before it was cracking open sunflower seeds and ravenously eating everything in sight.

It was still shaking and wet, so we put the box on a heating pad.  Over the next hour or so, it stopped shaking and it's fur dried off.  Using google images and the help of our animal-loving neighbor Cindy, we decided he was definitely a chipmunk, and not a baby at all.

Unlike the baby squirrel back in 2003, this chipmunk really was "lucky".

He got to spend some time in a toasty box with lots of food before going back to his chipmunk family and hopefully living a long, happy life!

Thanks to Kerry.

 

Making Time

We all have busy lives.  Too much to do. 
School, jobs, commitments, to-do lists...
It just never ends.

Getting together with family sometimes seems impossible.
If you wait until the perfect time for everyone, it will never happen.

So when family members put their lives on hold and make time for each other,
it is all the more meaningful.

That's what happened for me this past week.
My sister Lori and her daughters Mikey and Emily dropped their work,
schoolwork, and all responsibilities, traveled 15 hours from Alaska,
and made time for their family and friends.

Though it rained almost every hour of their visit,  we made the most of our time together.

Times we will never forget...

because we have LOTS of pictures!

 Moments captured...

 Memories made...

 Frozen in time.

When our time together comes to an end, so do the smiles.

Because the distance is too far and our times together too few.

That's why making time is so important.

One Big Happy Family - Not

How is it that some siblings can argue and fight one minute and be best friends the next?
And other siblings just can't get past their differences to find a common ground?

I'm a member of a family that just can't get along, and I'm not proud of it.

Growing up, we never really fought a lot.  The first two of my siblings were spaced two years apart, then I was 4 years from my brother, and my sister Lori was 4 years after me. 

The first two interacted a lot as children, but given the 4 years between the rest of us there wasn't a lot of "playing together" as children.  I was at home alone with mom for 4 years while my brother and older sister were in school and my sister Lori had mom all to herself when I went to school.  We weren't in high school or college together.  My older sister is 6 years older than me.  Other than our time at home, we just didn't interact with each other very much.

So it's really been in the years that we have been adults that we haven't gotten along. 

It's not all of us.  There is a real bond between the first 2 siblings and the last 2 siblings.
But there is little or no friendship between the two pairs.

They say that sibling rivalry during childhood plays a role in adult sibling relationships, but I think in the case of our family the rivalry BEGAN as we progressed into adulthood and started our families.

Sibling rivalry is a normal aspect of childhood, experts say. Our siblings are our first rivals. They competed with us for the love and attention of the people we needed most, our parents, and it is understandable that we occasionally felt threatened. Much of what is written about sibling rivalry focuses on its effects during childhood.

But our sibling relationships are often the longest of our lives, lasting 80 years or more. Several research studies indicate that up to 45% of adults have a rivalrous or distant relationship with a sibling.

In the case of my family, it seems the rivalry began AFTER we were adults.  It makes sense because that was finally a time when we were all at a common place - working, buying our first houses, cars, having children.  Even as adults, it seemed that it revolved around competition for the love and attention of our parents.  

My younger sister and I had formed a strong bond in the years we were home alone together in high school and college.  My brother and older sister had formed a bond in their younger years and also in high school and college, given their closeness in age.

We were never a family that threw our differences out there and had a rip-roaring fight to sort it out.  We internalized things and kept all of the pain and hurt inside to keep the peace.  If we HAD fought as children, maybe we would have been better equipped to handle differences as adults.  We would know our bond was forever - no matter what.  We would care enough to make sure our differences didn't drive us apart.  We would be each other's cheerleaders.  And we would understand that our parents were trying their best to meet the needs of their children, but they were not perfect. It may have seemed that they had chosen favorites, loved unevenly or compared one child with the other.

Our parents have been gone now for over 3 years.  I had hopes that all of this nonsense would end.
But it hasn't.   I know it made my parents sad in the later years of their lives that they couldn't get all of their children together and have a happy, loving time together.

It saddens me that it continues.

But I've come to accept that it probably will never change.

 

Meet the Oshiros!

If you're looking for a website to make your own Christmas cards
this year - you know, the ones with a pictures of your kids or family
on the front - then check out this one:

www.minted.com

We used them last year and it really paid off!

I got an email from a company representative in June.
She told me they really liked our family picture that
we used on the card and they would like to use it on
their website to show cards for the 2012 collection!

Wow!  I was so excited! 

After signing a photo release form that they sent,
I got a coupon for 25% off and a voucher for $150!

Sooooooo,  the 2012 collection is out!

There are a lot of pretty designs...

But,  meet the Oshiros...

I kind of like our new name!

I looked it up:

Oshiro is a popular family name in Okinawa, from the large castle of the former Okinawan kingdoms. This literally translates into "big castle"

In the United States, this surname ranks 9,791st out of a total of 88,799 Japanese surnames.

Thanks for reading!

Gayle Oshiro  :)

Poison Ivy, Oatmeal and Motherhood

A few weeks ago, I was feeling like the hours I spend being a mom were waning.

Adam, who hasn't lived at home more than a few weeks in the last year, has moved into a house on campus for his final year of college.

Kerry, a Junior in college, has moved into a beautiful apartment on campus.

And Annie - well,  let's just say I haven't been feeling needed or wanted lately.
In her last year of high school, her world is very busy and she is capable of handling
the events of her life pretty well on her own. 
 

Until now.

She got poison ivy over a week ago when she was helping
clear the cross country course at school.

When she told me only a few days ago, I figured she had
everything under control.  If she needed my help, she would ask for it.

Before bed late last night she showed me her ankle.
I have never had poison ivy, but I thought it looked pretty nasty.
She showed where it had been spread up her leg and to her other ankle.

Then she told me how she had made a concoction of oatmeal and
baking soda earlier in the evening.  You were supposed to
put in on the blisters and let it dry, but she told me it just kept running off
her ankle and dripping.  It never got a chance to dry.  She had even tried
to keep it on with saran wrap.

Hmmm...

It was then that I began questioning her. 
I asked her if she had changed her towel since the breakout.
No.
I asked her if she had changed her sheets since the breakout.
No.
I asked her if she had worn the same shoes since the breakout.
Yes.
Same clothing?
Yes.

My motherhood juices started flowing!
I had a job again!  I was needed!
Like when they were little and would come running
inside when they got a boo-boo!

After making sure there were clean sheets on the bed,
a clean towel in the bathroom, and a pile of dirty
clothes and bed linen to wash, I went to bed.

When I got up this morning, Annie had gone to school already.
As usual, I went to the sink to put the dirty dishes into the dishwasher
when I saw a dried up bowl of Cream of Wheat.

I smiled and chuckled to myself!

No wonder the "oatmeal" had run down her leg last night!


So, to finish the story...

I took Annie to our pediatrician, Dr. Steve, after school today.
She got to go into the "space" room!

He thought it looked infected and gave her antibiotics.

Now she has another problem.

She can't swallow pills!

Lessons from a Squirrel

When I think about writing a new blog post, I usually have a general idea of what I want to say then I do a little research online for quotes or information that will support or contribute to the topic in some way.  I actually end up learning a few things in the process.

Today I knew what I wanted to write about.

Squirrels.

In particular, the hundreds of squirrels that have run in front of my car
in the past few weeks.
EVERY time I drive anywhere, it happens.

They sit on the side of the road and wait until the last minute
to dart across in front of me.

OR, they stop in the middle of the road long enough to make eye contact - causing me to swerve my car to avoid them.  The only problem is, they don't always continue across where I expect them to go!
Sometimes they deliberately go back in the direction I have gone to avoid them!

I swear I saw a squirrel yesterday carrying something - and it wasn't a nut!

Probably trying to capture the look on my face to publish in some squirrel newpaper!

But seriously,  in my research forced me to think deeper about squirrels
and what we can learn from.

1)  The squirrel only actually finds 10% of the nuts he hides for safekeeping.

      I know that I am guilty of over-preparing sometimes.  I try to think of all
      of the possible things that can happen and cover for them.  A lot of time
      and money is wasted preparing for things that never actually happen. 

2)  I wish I had the guts to just sprint to where I want to go,
     taking risks more readily,
     leaping from branch to branch without a care about falling.

3)  Sometimes you can't sprint to the finish line.  Often you cannot rush things. 
     Some things just take time.  No matter how much you want them to happen faster
     or how much you try.

and lastly

4)  Often the squirrel is almost across the road, but when scared by an oncoming car
     turns around retreats back to where he came from.  Isn't this true of us too? 
     We often get scared or let minor setbacks stop us from doing something,
     when in fact we were closer to our goal than we thought.

In my research, I never actually found out why squirrels are darting in front of my car
so much this year.  If anyone knows, please tell me.  I don't remember them being so
active ever before. 

Does it have to do with the weather? 

Does it say something about the upcoming winter?

Or since last winter was so mild,  are there just more squirrels this year?

I wish I knew.

The Waterfront

The beauty of a Lake Champlain sunset fills me with awe.

I've seen many sunsets here in my 53 years.
As I watch the changing light and colors,  it brings me back to other sunsets.
It brings me back to other times in my life.

 As a fifteen year old with thoughts of friends, crushes, fears and triumphs...

As an eighteen year old trying to envision my future in college and beyond...

As a 22 year about to move away from home, full of uncertainty and hope, fear and excitement...

As a 25 year old with my new husband looking forward to our life together...

As a 40 year old watching the same awe in the eyes of my children...

And in my 50's, with hopes for the futures of my children and an ache for the past when my parents were alive and life was not so complicated.

Throughout the years, the lake has helped me put life into perspective.
As you sit and watch the sun sink below the horizon
bringing the darkness of night,
you see the colors are constantly changing.
Just when you think it can't possibly get any prettier, it does.

When the clouds are present,  it makes the sky even more colorful and glorious.

And on rainy days when the colors over the lake are more gloomy,
you might just turn around to leave and see that they have just moved
to a different place in the sky... 

Then, when driving back to real life once again, up the hill,
you see the clouds have cleared and the sky is the bluest blue,
causing you to catch your breath once again with the beauty of it all.

Being here grounds me, calms me, and gives me hope for a bright future.

With certainty, I know I will be back again.

The Masks We Wear

We all do it.
We all wear masks.
For one reason or another.

Throughout my life, I have worn many masks.

As a child, I was very shy. 
I saw this as a flaw. 
After all, my teachers were quick to point it out on almost every report card.
I tried to wear a mask of self-confidence back then, but I know I wasn't very good at it.

As my life went on, I became much better at wearing masks.
I think we all do.

Masks of happiness when everything in life seems like it is crashing down on us.
Masks of confidence in the face of uncertainty.
Masks of indifference when we feel hurt or friends let us down.

How many of us would go out in public without make-up on?
There are so many ways we hide our true selves!

BUT, wearing these masks constantly causes us to feel alone. A popular quote says "You are only ever loved to the extent that you are known". We cannot feel loved for who we really are as long as we are not known as we really are. At the same time, we fear that if we expose our true selves we will be rejected.

I've been doing a lot of photography this summer - many senior portraits.
I get nervous every single time.
There are so many unknowns. 
I want so much to make each of these kids look good.
If they knew how anxious I really am, they would never want me taking their pictures.
They would never trust me with the job.
So I wear my photographer mask - a mask that I am confident and calm and know exactly what I'm doing!  If only they knew!
But as the summer went on,  I needed my mask less and less because I had actually gained REAL confidence.  The mask is not totally gone, but I'm getting there!

Writing this blog serves many purposes in my life.
One of these is letting the world know my true self - the real me.
Some people can't understand this.
They ask why I would want to talk about personal things in such a public way.

I guess it's my way of taking off my masks.
And it feels good.

In My Head

I'm so glad the summer is coming to an end.

I hope Ali likes her pictures.

I can't wait for the fall TV shows to start.

The dogs need a bath.

I will not put on my winter weight this year.

I wish I liked coffee.

September 27 - October 2 will be so much fun!

I'm sick of political ads already.

If Linda McMahon calls one more time...

I love my new sweater.

My garden needs work.

The bird feeders are running low.

I need to exercise more.

I love my Sanuks.

My new bathrooms make me feel happy.

I need to paint the trim.

Why doesn't Momo come in when she's sitting at the door?

The bananas are getting spotted.

Momo and Halle need vet appointments.

I'm glad Kerry came home for the weekend.

I'm not going outside again until the humidity goes away!

I'm excited that Hali is writing a blog.

I wish Vance could relax more.

I need to get more editing done.

I need to set up more photo sessions.

I need to clean the bathroom.

What will we eat for dinner tonight?

Who will Kelly's new co-host be?

I need to clean the kitchen.

I need a shower.

I can't wait to have fried dough at the Four Town Fair.

I wonder what Annie's college essay will be about.

I love that fall coat in the catalog I got yesterday.

Maddie makes me laugh.

What book will I read next?

I need to begin going to bed earlier and getting up earlier.

Why do so many squirrels keep running in front of my car?

Kerry doesn't have a garbage disposal...

The grapes are nice and crispy lately.

Macoun apples will be ready to pick soon.

Will we have a fall storm this year?

I love autumn.

Will Annie be in a good mood today?

The dogs need brushing.

Why does Maddie LEAP out the door instead of walk?

I love sleeping with the windows open.

I saw a maple tree with orange leaves already.

I need to listen to the news more.

I need to read the newspaper more.

I'm so happy I am so busy with photography.

I wish I had more free time.

We need parsley.

I shouldn't be taking so much time writing this blog.