Gayle Tales

For the first 50 years of my life, my perfectionist self mistakenly believed it was all about knowing more, getting it right, planning, attempting to prevent bad things from happening, and keeping all of my chicks in a row. It took me this long to discover that the JOURNEY is all that matters. This quote from Gilda Radner sums it all up:

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. "

Thursday, August 29, 2013

24 Hours

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

~ Ambrose Bierce

On any normal day, we don't always make the most of our time.

But what if it wasn't a "normal" day. What if it was a day that would only happen once in your lifetime?

What if you were leaving home for the first time in your life to live 5 hours away in another state to go to college?

What would you do with your time?

Here is what Annie did last Saturday before she left for college on Sunday.

She didn't waste much time sleeping. At 4:30 AM, she woke up and met two of her close friends, Zach and Dave, for a hike up Soapstone Mountain to watch the sunrise. They even brought a camp stove and made breakfast!

She did a few loads of laundry so she could finish up her packing.

The gathering spot was in the piano room.

She hadn't slept in her bedroom for a while. She was using her bed to collect the clothes she planned to pack.

While her clothes were being washed, she decided to fix her favorite spider earring that had lost the jewel.

Gold or blue?

Then I followed her to her friend's house so I could take pictures of her saying good-bye to Jess.

Jess carried on a long tradition between friends by giving Annie a picture she had drawn of a dinosaur in front of the Eastman School of Music!

I couldn't help but take a picture of Jess's cat Archie!

After a final drive through the corn fields and cow pastures of town...

Annie went to the high school track for a final run.

How appropriate that the back of her shirt reads:

"BE COURAGEOUS"

Then Annie stayed home and ate dinner with us. We went to the grocery store for snacks to bring to college,

finished packing,

and she redid her manicure at 2:00 AM before going to sleep.

On Sunday morning we went to church

for her final time as the official church pianist.

After the service, there were many hugs and well-wishes ...

Then we went home to pack up the car

AND WE LEFT TOWN.

THAT was how she spent her last 24 hours at home!

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Here Comes Good-Bye

Back in May, I thought I would be ok with being an empty nester.

Adam hadn't lived at home for more than a few weeks at a time for 3 years.

Kerry was living in an apartment in Burlington and was staying there for the summer.

Annie was busy with all the activities that fill the lives of graduating Seniors in high school.

We were practically empty-nesters already!

No sweat, right?

Then summer came. Adam moved home for the summer. Kerry visited often. And Annie was home more to spend time with Adam and Kerry.

It was a nice summer, ending with our yearly vacation together in Lake George.

About a week ago, Adam moved to an apartment in Burlington where he will live for the next year.

When he left that morning, my heart ached.

I let myself wallow for a while.

I felt like I was standing on the shore and the tide was coming in.

Just as the water steadily rises on the sand, I felt my emotions were also rising.

Every once in a while a wave would come and the tears would overflow.

But there were things to do.

I needed to get Annie everything she needed for her first year of college.

Kerry came home for a week too.

At the end of this week, Kerry goes back to Vemont for her final year of college.

And one week from today we pack up Annie's things and bring her to Rochester.

There's no doubt in my mind THAT good-bye will very difficult for me.

Because then we come home.

Just the two of us.

Alone in the house for the first time in 22 years.

Has it really been that long?

It seems like it all happened in the blink of an eye.

When the kids were little, we were told so often to enjoy our time with them because they grow up so fast. Back then, even a day of caring for three young children could seem endless.

Over 8000 days of those days have passed.

From now on. the majority of our time will be spent without our kids at home.

Just the two of us.

I feel very sad and happy at the same time.

I just need to get through next week's good-bye.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

WWDD

You would think that when you're in your 50's you would have life figured out. You'd think you could handle whatever life throws at you.

You'd think that you wouldn't long for the wisdom and strength and comfort of Daddy.

He's been gone now for 4 years, but he is ever present in my life.

Whenever anything needs fixing, I ask myself "What Would Daddy Do?"

Just having him in my life made me stand a little taller, feel a little braver, and sleep a little more soundly.

Sometimes I watch the slideshow that I made for his wake. Depending on my mood, it can make me smile or it can make me cry. But it always makes me feel closer to him.

I watched it today. It made me cry.

Monday, July 29, 2013

The Color Purple

I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it.... People think pleasing God is all God care about. But any fool living in the world can see it always trying to please us back.

~Alice Walker, The Color Purple, 1982

Some people find God in the beauty of the world around them.

It brings peace to their souls.

Adam found the perfect spot on top of the boathouse this morning with his Bible and his journal.

He wasn't alone.

There are way too few times like these in our days!

Friday, July 19, 2013

Endless Summer

I haven't written in a while.

It's summer.

You probably think I'm having so much fun and doing all kinds of summer activities that I don't have time to blog.

The truth is, I hate summer. It's my least favorite season.

I truly detest hot, humid weather. And this summer has been nothing but hot and humid. And wet. And mosquitoey. Trapped inside the house without being able to open the windows. A beautiful garden in my yard that I can only enjoy through my kitchen window.

I think I was actually getting into a funk for a while until I had a talk with myself and snapped myself out of it.

I didn't always feel this way. I used to love summer. There were endless days of laying in the sun by the lake, camping with my cousins, swimming, drive-in movies, tennis, naps in the afternoon after staying up until the wee hours of the morning engrossed in a good book, daydreaming, riding my bike everywhere...I remember one summer day when I sat and sketched a picture of my foot for hours and enjoyed every minute of it!

Yesterday I went to the beach with my daughter, Annie. As I floated in the cool water of the ocean on a day that reached 100 degrees inland, I watched the little ones playing in the sand. I watched the teens frolicking in the water. I watched the lovers kissing.

I was wearing a bikini I bought about ten years ago - the first time I have worn it in public since then. My stomach's not flat anymore, but I didn't care. It felt good. I wasn't able to read my iPad in the sun, so I just lay there listening to other people's conversations, listening to the water rush against the shore, feeling the intense heat of the sun on my skin, feeling the cool breeze come along to cool it off.

When we left the beach later in the afternoon, I felt renewed. Somehow it had brought me back in time to the summer days that I loved. I left the beach with a burn on my back, a tan on my stomach and a much better attitude!

The heat wave will pass. I have vacation to look forward to. Fall clothes are out already in the stores. I'll get through it.

Because the best thing about summer is it brings in the fall!

Monday, July 8, 2013

Look Who's Twenty-One!

It's hard to believe.

My daughter, Kerry, turned 21 yesterday!

We went to Burlington to celebrate with her. (Annie had to work so she couldn't be with us.)

Kerry chose to go to a restaurant in Winooski called "Our House".

When the waitress came to take our drink orders, we told her it was Kerry's 21st birthday. She carded Kerry when she ordered a raspberry margherita.

I think the waitress felt honored to deliver her first legal drink.

When I saw Adam and Kerry toasting with alcoholic beverages, I couldn't help remember when they were both so excited to drink out of the "Chip" cups after going to see Beauty and the Beast on ice!