For the first 50 years of my life, my perfectionist self mistakenly believed it was all about knowing more, getting it right, planning, attempting to prevent bad things from happening, and keeping all of my chicks in a row. It took me this long to discover that the JOURNEY is all that matters. This quote from Gilda Radner sums it all up:

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
"


Friday, July 19, 2013

Endless Summer

I haven't written in a while.

It's summer.

You probably think I'm having so much fun and doing all kinds of summer activities that I don't have time to blog.

The truth is, I hate summer.  It's my least favorite season.

I truly detest hot, humid weather.  And this summer has been nothing but hot and humid.  And wet. And mosquitoey. Trapped inside the house without being able to open the windows.  A beautiful garden in my yard that I can only enjoy through my kitchen window.

I think I was actually getting into a funk for a while until I had a talk with myself and snapped myself out of it.

I didn't always feel this way. I used to love summer.  There were endless days of laying in the sun by the lake,  camping with my cousins, swimming, drive-in movies, tennis, naps in the afternoon after staying up until the wee hours of the morning engrossed in a good book, daydreaming, riding my bike everywhere...I remember one summer day when I sat and sketched a picture of my foot for hours and enjoyed every minute of it!

Yesterday I went to the beach with my daughter, Annie.  As I floated in the cool water of the ocean on a day that reached 100 degrees inland, I watched the little ones playing in the sand.  I watched the teens frolicking in the water. I watched the lovers kissing.

I was wearing a bikini I bought about ten years ago - the first time I have worn it in public since then.  My stomach's not flat anymore, but I didn't care.  It felt good.  I wasn't able to read my iPad in the sun, so I just lay there listening to other people's conversations, listening to the water rush against the shore, feeling the intense heat of the sun on my skin, feeling the cool breeze come along to cool it off.

When we left the beach later in the afternoon, I felt renewed.  Somehow it had brought me back in time to the summer days that I loved.  I left the beach with a burn on my back, a tan on my stomach and a much better attitude!

The heat wave will pass. I have vacation to look forward to.  Fall clothes are out already in the stores.  I'll get through it.

Because the best thing about summer is it brings in the fall!





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