It's Almost Annie's Birthday!

"Whether you think you can
  or you think you can't,
  you're right" ~ Henry Ford

When I saw this quote the other day,
I immediately thought of my daughter, Annie.

All of her life, she has always been the kind
of person who THINKS SHE CAN.

And the majority of the time, SHE'S RIGHT!
Whatever she tries, she's good at it.
And I can't help but think it has to do with
the confidence she has in herself.

There has only been one time when I have seen
Annie give up and stop trying.
It was a long time ago in dance class.
The teacher taught the class a new dance
to perform for the parents on Halloween.
I guess she felt she didn't know it well enough,
and...

She stood there with the saddest look on her face
while everyone else was dancing
and refused to try.

Other than that time in dance class,
she amazes us with her sense of determination
and her ever-present smile!

Here she is in Lake George trying softball for the first time.

 And here she models a new dance outfit!

She must have been picturing herself out on stage!

She LOVED getting make-up on and dressing
like a princess for her dance recitals.

She made friends with her swim instructors.

 At Disneyworld, she wasn't afraid to go up to
the characters and hug them!

 Especially the princesses!

I love this dance recital picture with her two front teeth missing!

She used to go with Vance to visit the shut-ins from church.
This is her special friend Mrs. McGough who looked
forward to Annie's visits.

For a while, she fancied herself a figure skater...

I think her dance poses even helped her with...

                           basketball!

 She used to be tall for her age, which came
in handy on the court!

Annie began to play piano in kindergarten...

 She LOVED piano recitals!

I should say, she loved MUSIC.

And she loved Mrs. Bigge, her music teacher.

Here she is singing with her classmates in 4th grade.

She always has a smile on her face (well, almost always)...

Annie ran in the developmental track team when she was little,
then went on to run in Middle School...

and in High School...

She has always been comfortable in front of a crowd.

Whether speaking at sports awards,

acting in a high school play,

or playing sax with many jazz bands...

Annie, you continue to amaze us every day!
Happy 17th Birthday!
We love you and look forward to all the
exciting times in the coming year!

When the Unexpected Happens

"You gotta wonder why we cling to our expectations. Because the expected is just what keeps us steady… standing… still. The expected is just the beginning.

The unexpected… is what changes our lives."   ~ Meredith Grey

If you're lucky, you grow up knowing
        your parents are your rock.
They guide you.
They comfort you.
They teach you.

Even as you grow up, it's just expected that
when you see them, everything will be ok.
You can kind of relax from your adult responsibilities
and be taken care of once again.
It is just expected.

If you're lucky, that's the way it will always be.
But most of us aren't so lucky.

I remember the day when the unexpected happened to me.

My mother had been diagnosed with throat cancer
      a month before.
She started radiation treatments and then chemo.
I was just going to Florida to help my father with her care.
My sister was going too.  It would be a little vacation.

I pulled my rental car into their driveway.
Dad came out and helped me with my bags, like always.
I went into the house to find my mom sitting in her chair,
watching her soaps, as she always did.
I went to greet her and she said "Hi Honey!"

Then the unexpected began to happened.
She asked me if my sister Lori was home from school yet.

I looked at Dad and he tried to make things right again.
He brought her back to reality.
I wasn't sure he should have done that.

Then she asked me to write a note to the pastor of her
church and send him $10 so he would pray for her.
Her handwriting had deteriorated with her health.
It bothered me that she felt she had to pay a priest
     to do this for her.

I noticed my father looked old and weary.
And tired.
He kept trying to get her to drink.
They bickered.
Her throat was painful and she winced with
every little sip.

Jump forward to the next day.

My mom was sitting trying to drink and she asked me
for the phone book. She needed to find Daddy.
My father was standing right next to me.

When I pointed him out, she said that wasn't Daddy.
It was a mean man who tried to make her eat and drink
and do things she didn't want to do.

As she spoke, I saw the inside of her mouth.
He tongue and cheeks were coated with white.
Thrush.

Then I did something I had never done in my life.
I took control.
And my father seemed relieved.

I called the doctor and told him what was going on.
He instructed me to get my mom to the hospital.

At the hospital, when asked what year it was,
my mom answered "1972".
Her wig was askew and I reached out to fix it.
My heart was breaking.

I went to get food for my dad and me.
He didn't even know he was hungry.

When I went to the airport to get my younger sister,
I almost didn't want her to come.
I knew her life was about to change too.

But I needed her.
My parents needed a rock and I didn't feel I
was up to being a rock all by myself.

The unexpected.
It requires us to change.
It forces us out of our comfort zones.
Sometimes for the better.
Sometimes not.

And when the unexpected happens
you can always be sure of one thing.
You will never forget it.



______________________________________________


My jogging log (new entries in red)

13:18 min           1.04 mile            12:47 min/mile
12:29 min           1.05 miles           11:53 min/mile
14:53 min           1.24 miles           12:00 min/mile
12:34 min           1.06 miles           11:51 min/mile
15:08 min           1.37 miles           11:02 min/mile
16:46 min           1.45 miles           11:34 min/mile
16:07 min           1.44 miles           11:12 min/mile
16:20 min           1.40 miles           11:40 min/mile

15:54 min           1.40 miles           11:21 min/mile

15:03 min           1.40 miles           10:40 min/mile

15:39 min           1.40 miles           11:11 min/mile

15:25 min           1.40 miles           10:51 min/mile

15:28 min           1.40 miles           11:03 min/mile 

15:31 min           1.37 miles           11:20 min/mile

15:20 min           1.40 miles           10:57 min/mile

15:55 min            ??   I ran a new route - GPS didn't work!

Mad Dawg Again

Maddie.  AKA Mad Dawg.

I've had a lot of cats, but none like her!

She must be smart, because she can figure things out!

Like how to sneak a mid-day snack from the cat food bin!

And she notices EVERYTHING.

Like the little opening above my spice pull-out!

And a hair elastic on the floor of the shower.

And she's not afraid of heights AT ALL!

She's even been known to climb the extension ladder
to the second story roof of the house!

You'd better watch out when her eyes look like this!

 She is more than a year old now.

You would think she'd be calming down a bit.

And she is .....  sometimes.

But even when she's asleep, she is aware of what's going on.

Her tail is a dead give-a-way!

Scrubs

 An exciting package was delivered in the mail the other day!

Kerry's first set of SCRUBS!

She tore open the package and  immediately tried them on.

Kerry is a 2nd year nursing student at the University of Vermont.

She's also one of the sweetest, kindest, and smartest people that I know!

There's no doubt in my mind, she will be a remarkable nurse!


______________________________________________


My jogging log (new entries in red)

13:18 min           1.04 mile            12:47 min/mile
12:29 min           1.05 miles           11:53 min/mile
14:53 min           1.24 miles           12:00 min/mile
12:34 min           1.06 miles           11:51 min/mile
15:08 min           1.37 miles           11:02 min/mile
16:46 min           1.45 miles           11:34 min/mile
16:07 min           1.44 miles           11:12 min/mile
16:20 min           1.40 miles           11:40 min/mile

15:54 min           1.40 miles           11:21 min/mile

15:03 min           1.40 miles           10:40 min/mile

15:39 min           1.40 miles           11:11 min/mile

15:25 min           1.40 miles           10:51 min/mile

15:28 min           1.40 miles           11:03 min/mile 

15:21 min           1.37 miles           11:20 min/mile *


*I had to take some days off because my legs needed
  more time to recover.  Went to the gym instead.

If I Had a Hammer...

Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we’re wired that way. 

Because without it, I don’t know… 

maybe we just wouldn’t feel real.

What’s that saying? 

“Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer?” 

“Because it feels so good when I stop.” 

                                                            ~ Meredith Grey

Beginning a running program at the age of 52 has not been easy.

I started running/walking in November.
Fifteen runs later, and I still feel like crap.

My legs.
My mother used to call me her "little pony" because I had long, skinny legs and could run so easily.

I'm no pony anymore!
Gone are the long, graceful strides of just a few years ago too.
My legs feel more like those of ...

an elephant!

Only I'm sure an elephant can run much faster than me.

Over the last few days, my legs have been aching after I run.
So tonight I decided to google
"starting a running program after the age of 50"
for some tips.

I found a really good article accompanied by the following picture:




This is not exactly what I picture myself looking like...
However, good for those OLD ladies!  You go, girls!

The article described the highs of running:

Your arms, legs, and breathing fall into a rhythm that eventually lulls your brain into a meditative "no-stress zone".

My runs are anything but meditative right now!
And my breathing can more aptly be described as
            "sucking wind".
It has no rhythm.

I can remember the days of yesteryear when I would get lost in thought as I jogged along.

Now my brain has no room for thoughts other than making sure I put one foot in front of the other and lift my heavy legs high enough not to trip and fall flat on my face when the sidewalk is uneven.

Run only when you're pain free.

Bad idea!  If I kept to this one, I would never run at all!


I'm sure there are those of you reading this who are young and thinking to themselves
        "I will never let myself get THAT out of shape".

I remember saying the same thing about my mother.
That was BEFORE.

Before what?

Before SO MANY things that you are yet to experience.

So, why will I keep running, despite pain and suffering it entails?

Because "it feels so good when I stop"!


______________________________________________


My jogging log (new entries in red)

13:18 min           1.04 mile            12:47 min/mile
12:29 min           1.05 miles           11:53 min/mile
14:53 min           1.24 miles           12:00 min/mile
12:34 min           1.06 miles           11:51 min/mile
15:08 min           1.37 miles           11:02 min/mile
16:46 min           1.45 miles           11:34 min/mile
16:07 min           1.44 miles           11:12 min/mile
16:20 min           1.40 miles           11:40 min/mile

15:54 min           1.40 miles           11:21 min/mile

15:03 min           1.40 miles           10:40 min/mile

15:39 min           1.40 miles           11:11 min/mile
15:25 min           1.40 miles           10:51 min/mile
15:28 min           1.40 miles           11:03 min/mile 

The House is Sinking!

Have nothing in your house that you do not know 

to be useful, or believe to be beautiful. --William Morris

 

When my husband read my blog entry with my running times, he couldn't understand why I would willingly let anyone to know how out-of-shape I am!

Well, here I go again.

When you look at the above picture,
how does it make you feel?

How about this one?

When I see these pictures, I feel very uncomfortable!

Clutter.

Lack of order.

I hate it.

In fact, for me, OUTER ORDER contributes to INNER CALM. 

I am ashamed to admit that these pictures were taken in MY basement.

How does it get this way?

Every winter I spend a day or two organizing the basement and putting things back where they belong.

In past years, I have bought organization systems.

I label everything so everyone knows where to find things.
And where to put them back.

BUT, they NEVER get put back where they belong.

This doesn't bother ANYONE ELSE IN MY HOUSE!
Heck, my kids bedrooms generally don't look
          much different than this!

When my kids were younger,
I called them together and told them
I had gotten a phone call from town hall.
The town told me our house was too heavy
and was beginning to sink into the ground!
I gave them each a garbage bag so they
could help us save the house from going under!
They had to decide what they could part with.

(This was one of my shining moments of motherhood!)

Being children who still believed that Santa could
fit gifts for the entire world into his little sleigh -
naive about weights and measures -
they fell for it! 


Oh, the pleasure I derived from this little project!

Now that they are older, I can't fool them anymore.

So I keep the doors to their bedrooms shut
and do the best I can.


But they have the advantage.
It's 4 of them to 1 of me.


Tomorrow I'll organize the basement once again.
Maybe this year it will stay that way!


____________________________________________
My jogging log (new entries in red)

13:18 min           1.04 mile            12:47 min/mile
12:29 min           1.05 miles           11:53 min/mile
14:53 min           1.24 miles           12:00 min/mile
12:34 min           1.06 miles           11:51 min/mile
15:08 min           1.37 miles           11:02 min/mile
16:46 min           1.45 miles           11:34 min/mile
16:07 min           1.44 miles           11:12 min/mile
16:20 min           1.40 miles           11:40 min/mile

15:54 min           1.40 miles           11:21 min/mile

15:03 min           1.40 miles           10:40 min/mile

15:39 min           1.40 miles           11:11 min/mile

Momma, Don't Take My Kodachrome Away

"Kodachrome, it gives us those nice bright colors
Gives us the greens of summers
Makes you think all the world's a sunny day, oh yeah!
I got a Nikon camera, I love to take a photograph
So momma, don't take my Kodachrome away..."

~Paul Simon, Kodachrome

I began taking an online photography course
on Photographic Composition this week.

It's all about composing better pictures.
It's about seeing things, noticing things.

Noticing patterns,
               lines,
               light,
               shadow,
               repetition.

The first assignment was to go outside
and take pictures of these things.

So I went on a hike and stopped in one area.
And I looked around.
I looked high and low.
I stayed in one spot and looked in every direction.

It's amazing how much you see when you try.

Oh, and I forgot to mention...
The pictures have to be black and white.





There were interesting lines and patterns on the railroad trestle.

 A stone stuck in the pedestrian crossing grate.

This bolt was holding the railing.
Yikes!

 

  Without color, it's easier to notice light and shadow.
 
 There was a nice pattern of light and shadow on the stones
behind the tree.

 

The bridge from below.
Patterns of lines and squares.

 Without leaves, it's easy to see shapes in the branches.

 Lichen on tree bark.

 A pretty, curly vine.

 A single red berry.

 Concentric circles in the top of a log.

The sun came out briefly and helped create
patterns of light and shadow.

 An old piece of farm machinery -
I'm not sure what it's purpose was.
It's not a wheel because I could see the
rubber tire on the wheel.
Any ideas?

 A perfect letter "e" on the ground.

 
The posts and their shadows form a nice
set of lines.

Downed tree limbs form an "x"
as the sun shines through.

I had a lot of fun with this assignment.

Black and white photography forces you to
take pictures differently.

It makes you notice shapes, light, and shadow.

Sometimes color can be distracting.

But if I had to choose between the two...

I'd go with color every time.


______________________________________

13:18 min           1.04 mile            12:47 min/mile
12:29 min           1.05 miles           11:53 min/mile
14:53 min           1.24 miles           12:00 min/mile
12:34 min           1.06 miles           11:51 min/mile
15:08 min           1.37 miles           11:02 min/mile
16:46 min           1.45 miles           11:34 min/mile
16:07 min           1.44 miles           11:12 min/mile
16:20 min           1.40 miles           11:40 min/mile
15:54 min           1.40 miles           11.21 min/mile

Pride and Accountability

Ok.

I used to be an active person.

I used to bike, play tennis, cross country ski, downhill ski,
                        and jog.

During the years that we were trying to start our family,
I started running to relieve the stress of infertility.

Once I finally became pregnant, I stopped running.

Being a stay-at-home mom to 3 active kids,
I did a lot of running around, but not really exercise.

I skated...

I still went biking....

I played hopscotch and jump rope.
I would swim a little bit in the summer...

As they got bigger, we would go on family bike rides -
     but only as fast the the youngest child could go.
I started exercise programs, but nothing lasted.
Other responsibilities would always get in the way
       - or so I told myself.

I have belonged to LA Fitness for the past 2 years or so.
I usually get serious about it before bathing suit season.
But it takes so much time to go to the gym every day
that I can't sustain it for an extended period.

So last month, as it became impossible to zip up
my jeans once again, I knew I had to do something
that was easier to sustain and didn't take so much time.

I started running.

 NOTE:  THIS IS NOT A PICTURE OF ME!
It is a picture of what I would like to look like!


My first day out, I ran less than 1/2 mile and stopped 5 times.

I was disgusted with myself.
I felt old.

Then I found an APP for my iPhone that really motivates me.
It's called LogYourRun.

It uses GPS to keep track of your mileage.

I can listen to songs and it interrupts the song every quarter mile
        to tell me how far I have gone.

And it keeps track of my distance, speed, and effort.

I started using it my second time out..........

19:13 min             0.9 miles        22:05 min/mile

and I stopped 3 times to walk.

Pretty bad.
But it has motivated me.
That, and watching the contestants on the Biggest Loser
       run a marathon!

Since then, here are my stats.

13:18 min           1.04 mile            12:47 min/mile
12:29 min           1.05 miles           11:53 min/mile
14:53 min           1.24 miles           12:00 min/mile
12:34 min           1.06 miles           11:51 min/mile
15:08 min           1.37 miles           11:02 min/mile
16:46 min           1.45 miles           11:34 min/mile
16:07 min           1.44 miles           11:12 min/mile
16:20 min           1.40 miles           11:40 min/mile 


I am seeing progress.
I definitely slowed down after eating all those
         Christmas goodies!

But I am not stopping to walk anymore.
And I have increased my mileage - somewhat.

Now I am going to use my PRIDE to keep me going.

EVERY TIME I WRITE A BLOG ENTRY,
I WILL LOG MY RUNS.

I will be accountable to you.

I hate to lose.
I hate to say I can't do something.
I hate to give up -

especially when someone is watching.

So wish me luck.
And get on me if I slack off.

Let Time Stand Still

Time flies. Time waits for no man. Time heals all wounds. All any of us wants is more time. Time to stand up. Time to grow up. Time to let go. Time.   ~Dr. Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

Today was quite a day for TIME.

Today was a new day,

... a new week,

... a new month,

... a new year.

How did I spend my TIME today, January 1, 2012?

My day began with a dream.  A nice dream.
In fact, I didn't want to wake up.
I dreamed I was visiting my mom and dad - and they were both alive and well.
They say dreams come and go in an instant.
Thankfully this dream seemed to last a long TIME.
 
I didn't do a whole lot today.
I didn't shower.
I didn't even get out of my pajamas.

Some people would say I wasted TIME today.

Around two o'clock, I went upstairs to a bedroom
at the farthest end of the house and crawled under
the comforter and      fell    asleep.

Over the next 4 hours I went in and out of sleep.

I heard my dogs walk in and check to see if I was awake.

Each time I woke up, I thought I should get up
            and accomplish something.


Then I decided not to. 
And I drifted back to sleep.

It was already dark when I finally awoke for good.
I stayed warm and content under the covers, listening.
I heard the TV downstairs.
I heard my husband ask my daughter if she was hungry.
The door to my son's room opened and I smiled to myself
           as I heard his stomping footsteps go downstairs.
My guess is that he had been sleeping too.
I wondered what Annie was doing.
I wondered if anyone knew where I was.

As I lay there, I reflected on the past year.
I mused over the possibilities of this new year.

But mostly, I just basked in the present moment...

My family is home, together.
We are all healthy and happy.

Let TIME stand still for today.

It doesn't get any better than this.