Happy Anniversary to Us!

On April 14, 1984, Gayle and Vance were married.

Instead of being the beautiful spring day we envisioned, it was a horribly rainy, windy, chilly day.  NOT a good day for any outdoor pictures.  NOT a good day for hair.  NOT a good day for satin shoes.  But it was a GREAT day for a wedding!

 It was back in the days before digital photography, so I have  to cut him some slack, but looking at the pictures with a more critical eye, they were not good.  This is the only picture I have walking down the aisle with my father - and my eyes were mostly closed!  Nonetheless, I treasure the memory!

 It was a late afternoon wedding on a dark, gloomy day.  But the church was warmed by candlelight.

 Presenting MR. & MRS.

 My hair was always permed back then.  Unfortunately, the perm I got right before the wedding caused a large amount of my hair to break off at the roots!  Yikes! 

 My sister Lori was the Maid-of-Honor and Vance's friend Bob was the Best Man.

  Looking at the pictures,  it was nice to see the faces of so many family members who have since passed.

 Vance posed with just his mother.  His father passed away a few years before.

This is one of my favorite pictures.  We are happy and relaxed, and NOT posing!

I just wish that BIG WHITE HAND was out of the picture! 

Two Little Girls x2

I took a few pictures on Friday.  I am fortunate to know two beautiful girls who were extremely happy to let me take their pictures.  It was a lot of fun!

As always,  I couldn't wait to dump my picture card to the computer and look at the pictures up close!

These girls have perfect skin, beautiful eyes, and beautiful smiles.  It made my job easy!

 It wasn't that long ago I worked with two other little girls.

  It seems like just yesterday! 

It's funny how much their personalities were reflected in their expressions!

I love little girls!

Training Wheels

It was well over 10 years ago that Annie went from riding her tricycle to her "big girl" bike. 




She was so proud to be like Adam and Kerry!

But before she could ride the two-wheeler on her own,  she definitely needed training wheels for a while to keep her from falling. When she felt she was ready, we took them off and she got her balance pretty easily.  Then she was off on her own without any help!  I was so proud that day, but also worried that she would take a tumble and get hurt.

Yesterday,  Annie's training wheels were back on again.

Only this time with a much bigger vehicle.
Annie passed the test to get her driver's permit!

She was all smiles as we walked out of the DMV.

As I did with Adam and Kerry before her,  I let her drive home on the back roads from Enfield after we had gotten away from the busier roads.

I was a little concerned when she asked me which pedal was the gas and which was the brake!

She pulled out of the parking lot with a combined laugh and scream. (She'll kill me when she finds out I used this picture!  Oh, but she HAS TO BE NICE TO ME IF SHE WANTS ME TO LET HER DRIVE!)

By the time she got back to the high school, she felt a little more at ease.

She will be able to take the test to get her license in 4 months.  She will take driver's ed and hopefully learn all she needs to know.

But for the next 4 months or so,  the training wheels are back on.

But this time,  her dad and I ARE the training wheels.

Our job is to keep her (and us) from getting hurt while she learns to drive.

When the time comes, we will set her off on her own.
Only this time we will be worried about more than a skinned knee!

Just a Minute!

 Start the timer.



Do you live by your "to do" list?

I do. 

If I really want to get something done,
        I put it on my "to do" list.  

I don't know about you, but for me, the best thing about having a "to do" list is crossing things off!

Have you ever put things on your "to do" list that you have already done just so you could get the satisfaction of crossing them off?  I have.

For me, there are good "to do" lists and bad "to do" lists. 

I sometimes have things on my daily "to do" list that get carried over from one day to another, maybe indefinitely!  This always happens when I put down something that takes too long - something that is akin to putting down "climb a mountain".

I find the best thing is to break up these larger tasks into multiple little tasks.

Tasks that only take a minute are best.

There are 1440 minutes in a day.  If you break down your list into "minute" tasks,  you could cross out one or two during a commercial of your favorite TV show! 

Short tasks are much less daunting.

The absolute BEST "to do" list looks like this:

How long did it take you to read this blog?

I bet it was less than a minute!

Put it on your "to do" list and cross it out!

I won't tell!

Color Me Blue!

Blue is the color of constancy and truth. It is the color of the sky as ephemeral and transparent as it may be, it is always there. Even on a cloudy or gray day there is the hope that the clarity of azure blue will eventually break through. The true blue of the daylight sky is associated with the continuity of yet another day, dependable and consoling. Survival was difficult in primitive times, so the dawning of a new day, in any shade of blue, must have been comforting.

Because of the enormous expanse of sky, we see blue as distant and receding into outer space. It suggests the ancient past or faraway future. As Goethe wrote in his Theory of Colors:

A blue surface seems to return from us . . . but as we readily follow an agreeable object that flies from us, so we love to contemplate blue, not because it advances to us, but because it draws us after it.

In fact, gazing at the blue sky brings a sense of peace and tranquility to the human spirit. It is imprinted in our psyches as a retiring, quiescent color.

My bedroom is blue.  I love blue flowers in my garden.  And my garage is painted blue (walls and ceiling) to discourage spiders from living there.  Believe it or not,  it is thought to fool them into thinking it is the sky.  That is why so many porch ceilings (especially in the south) are painted blue.  It is also believed to keep away evil spirits.

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1.  Pencil eraser
2.  Blue hydrangeas (dried from my garden)
3.  Toothpicks
4.  Closeup of a beautiful blue vase
5.  Annie's bedroom window covering
6.  Blue bendable drinking straws
7.  The top of a blue candle that has been burned already

2 Years Ago....

 April 3, 2009 was a day I will never forget.  It was a day I had dreaded for my entire life.  It was the last day of my father's life.  I was going to tell you a little about that day, but decided instead to share with you the eulogy that I wrote for my Dad.  He was such a special man.  I wish you could have known him!

I have spent a lot of time with my Dad in the past 2 months. During 12 hour days at the hospital,  it amazed me how many nurses and therapists commented on just how much I resemble my Dad.  

I was unsure whether this was a compliment or not!  His features are handsome for a man, but for me?  The first feature that always came to my mind was his rather large nose. They couldn’t possibly be referring to that?  Could they?

His hair?  Not possible.  I have my mom’s fine, thin hair.

While I never dared ask them for specifics,  I would always hope that perhaps they were talking about his smile.  Maybe you never paid much attention to my father’s smile because he wore it so frequently.  I admit that I never really noticed it much myself  until it wasn’t there anymore.  You see, after his stroke,  it was one of the things about my Dad that I most wanted back. Whenever anyone came into his room   I feared they would see a serious,  grumpy old man because of his inability to bring his face to life.  But I was proven wrong.   He was loved and respected by everyone.

My eyes are very different than my Dad’s too.  Surely I have Mom’s.  They say the eyes are the windows to the soul.  Looking into my Dad’s revealed a man who was extremely determined.  He told me  when referring to the stroke  that he would never wish this on anyone.  

He was a man who had faced many challenges  and would never say    he couldn’t do something.

This was one of his biggest challenges,  and he never failed to amaze all of the therapists in rehab.  When they asked him to do 20 repetitions,  he said no. I want to do 30.  When he had just taken his first few steps while holding the parallel bars,  he looked at me    and said he would be walking up the stairs within a week.  He was wrong.   It took him a week and a half.  There was great pride in his eyes and mine when he walked the long hallway from the gym back to his room with only a cane.

His eyes also revealed a soul full of kindness, caring, and wisdom.  Most of his therapists were very pretty young women, which was an added incentive to do well!   I remember  the first time he met Tina,  who later went on to teach him to walk again.    She came into his room  that first day to evaluate  him.  After struggling to sit up on the edge of the bed,  my Dad looked her in the eyes and asked her if she has a boyfriend.    She was a little surprised,    but admitted that yes,    she does.  In fact,  her wedding was only a month away.   He went on to tell her that her husband should never take her for granted.  He should tell her every day how pretty she is and how much he loves her.   He told her about his 56 year marriage to Mom  and gave her advice on how  to help make hers last too.  On her last day of work before her wedding,  he gave her a wedding card with $10 inside   and asked her if he could be the first one to kiss the bride.  He kissed her and made her cry.

My father developed a personal relationship with each of his therapists.  I believe part of the reason why he did so well   was because they all cared about him a lot and wanted so much for him to succeed.  We were told often that my father would long be remembered in the rehab unit.

While the past 2 months were probably the most difficult months of my life,  I will always cherish    the time I got to spend with my father.  A quote from Clarence Kelland sums it all up:

“My father didn’t tell me how to live;  

 he lived,  and let me watch him do it.”

Looking back now,  even though   I don’t really know  what they all meant when they told me I resemble my dad,  it doesn’t matter.    Whatever it is,  I am proud.

 

 

Color me Purple!

The purple family—the most enigmatic of all colors-is a combination of the excitement of red and the tranquility of blue, the marriage of two diametrically opposed emotions. A critical balancing act always exists: which emotion takes the lead?

From passionate red-violets to strong, silent indigo purples, this is the rainbow's most complex color and so are the people who prefer it: artists, mystics, performers, designers, widely (and often wildly) divergent types who have one thing in common-they are nonconformists (or longing to be!).

It is no wonder that highly creative artistic types (as well as eccentrics) have a predilection for purple. They enjoy the uniqueness inherent in this extraordinary hue. 

Purple is Annie's favorite color!  Personally,  I like it in flower gardens, but I don't usually choose purple to wear or decorate my house with.

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1.  A rubber glove for washing dishes
2.  A single blackberry (it really is dark purple, I think!)
3.  Antibacterial liquid soap
4.  A crocus bud in my garden
5.  A cat toy
6.  A pencil from Dr. Carbonneau's office
7.  Dryer lint

The Birds and the Bees

My daughter, Kerry, is now a freshman at UVM.  I was talking with her on the phone yesterday about her courses for next semester, and after I got off the phone I thought about some of my favorite courses I took when I was at UVM.  One that leaps to the front of my mind was "Human Sexuality".  It was a very popular elective - one of those HUGE classes of over 200 people.  I signed up to take it Junior year.

The class was always very well attended.  I have to admit it was one of the most "useful" classes I took in college.  Covering sexuality from birth to old-age,  it prepared me for the years of doctor's appointments I experienced while trying to have our first baby.

 It was during this class that I took a HUGE step in my life.

Since the class was so large,  it was broken up into smaller discussion groups once a week.  I can't remember what incentive was offered, but the teacher asked for students to volunteer to be discussion group leaders.
 
And I volunteered.

This may not seem like a HUGE step to you. 

You must realize, however, that I was so shy in high school that I could probably count on one hand the times I volunteered to answer a question.  I rarely even participated in a discussion group.  I don't know how many teachers even knew what my voice sounded like!

But college was a time to reinvent myself.  And this was a part of all that. 

I don't know why I chose to use this class to reinvent myself.  It's not like I was an expert in this subject.  In fact,  I was FAR from it!  I might have been the only virgin in the entire class of 200! You can't even imagine how nervous I was the night of my first discussion group!

Everyone came to the discussion group with an air of bravado on the topic, especially the guys.  But I was straight up with my group right from the start.  I distinctly remember the looks on their faces when I admitted I had never had sex.  As it turned out, that was the ice-breaker that prompted many questions and some wonderful discussions.  I was very strong in my beliefs that sex should wait until marriage and I could introduce another point of view on our topics of discussion throughout the semester.

So, in retrospect, this class proved to be a turning point in my war against shyness.  There have been many more turning points.  With each new role I have taken on in my life,  I have been forced to go once again beyond my comfort zone.  The first job, motherhood, Girl Scout leader, Sunday school teacher, and my latest shared role having to deal with medical staff during my father's illness and eventual death.  Ready or not, we are all forced to step up and rise to the occasion, no matter what that occasion might be.

And with each step, we learn and grow.

And that's all that matters!