For the first 50 years of my life, my perfectionist self mistakenly believed it was all about knowing more, getting it right, planning, attempting to prevent bad things from happening, and keeping all of my chicks in a row. It took me this long to discover that the JOURNEY is all that matters. This quote from Gilda Radner sums it all up:

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
"


Sunday, November 20, 2011

Why Am I Angry?

I had an "AHA" moment this week.

Thanks to Oprah.

While she is not doing her show anymore, she is still on TV.  And she's still trying to make our lives better.

This fall she's been broadcasting Oprah's Lifeclass on her OWN network.

I watched the episode about "Letting Go of Anger" this week.

I just want to share a little of what I learned because I feel it is so helpful to anyone who has ever been angry with a loved one or has had a loved one's anger directed at them.

That would be all of us, don't you think?



In this broadcast, I learned that ANGER is a manifestation of FEAR.

FEAR of what?

1.  Fear of losing love or having your love rejected.
2.  Fear of being powerless or helpless, weak or vulnerable.
3.  Fear of losing control of yourself or others.
4.  Fear of not being seen as valuable or necessary.

YOU ARE SELDOM ANGRY FOR THE REASONS YOU THINK YOU ARE.
Anger is the easy way out so you don't have to deal with the real issue.
Beneath anger is a well of HURT.
Rather than face the underlying hurt and fear, it's easier to be angry.

Now, when you think about ANGER in your life,
whether in the present or in the past,
whether it was your anger or anger directed at you,
look deeper and try to understand what hurt or fear
might have caused the anger.

The next time your spouse, friend, sister, brother, father, or mother are angry at you for reasons that don't make sense to you, look for the underlying reason.

BENEATH  the ANGER is the HURT.
BENEATH  the HURT is the LOVE.

That's why it's hard to be truly angry with a stranger.

To learn more about anger and how/why to let go of anger in your life, please watch this episode of Oprah's Lifeclass.

Maybe you'll have an "AHA" moment too!

http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/Oprahs-Lifeclass-Webcast-Day-Two-Anger-with-Iyanla-Vanzant-Video


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