For the first 50 years of my life, my perfectionist self mistakenly believed it was all about knowing more, getting it right, planning, attempting to prevent bad things from happening, and keeping all of my chicks in a row. It took me this long to discover that the JOURNEY is all that matters. This quote from Gilda Radner sums it all up:

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
"


Thursday, November 10, 2011

Thoughts on Loss

We deal with loss nearly every day in one form or another.

Loss of pride
Loss of competition
Loss of hair
Loss of appetite
Loss of eyesight
Loss of keys
Loss of internet
Loss of youth

Luckily, not as often, we deal with other types of losses.

Loss of your home
Loss of a job
Loss of your health
Loss of a loved one
Loss of a pet



This week, our family is dealing with the loss of Tigger.

He's been missing since Saturday (November 5).
He has never been gone for more than one night before this.

This blog entry is not about losing Tigger, though.

It's about how I am FEELING about losing Tigger.

Surprisingly, I'm calm.
AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.
And it's bothering me.

One thought is that I must believe deep down that he will come back.

But what I have really been contemplating is that maybe...
after losing many pets over the years...
after losing both of my parents...
and all of the millions of other little losses in my 52 years...

maybe I am getting better at it.

Maybe I really understand that I am not in control of everything.
Maybe I have learned to be thankful for the time I have had with pets rather than mourn the times that will never be.

Just because I am calm, it doesn't mean I don't care.
Finding Tigger has been a full-time job this week.
Posting signs all over town.
Walking through the streets, calling his name.
Stuffing mailboxes with fliers.
Responding to possible sightings.
Staying up a little later at night and keeping the back porch light on "just in case".
Praying that the next time I walk by the slider, he will be pawing at the glass to come in.

I hope we will see him again.
He has been a really good cat.
He has been loved.

I'll keep you posted.


 







2 comments:

  1. Oh, Gayle! I will keep my fingers crossed and pray for Tigger's return! It's not fair how many pets your family has loved so much that are not here with us any more :(
    Hugs....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, I'm sorry about Tigger. I hope he comes home. I don't like loss at all. I have to get through it sometimes, but I don't like it.

    ReplyDelete