For the first 50 years of my life, my perfectionist self mistakenly believed it was all about knowing more, getting it right, planning, attempting to prevent bad things from happening, and keeping all of my chicks in a row. It took me this long to discover that the JOURNEY is all that matters. This quote from Gilda Radner sums it all up:

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
"


Thursday, March 10, 2016

"Mommy, you look like a doggie!"

In addition to taking lots of pictures when my kids were young,  I also wrote a journal for each of them.  I don't know when I found the time.  No wonder I look back and notice how tired I looked.

In my intense spring cleaning this year,  I came across the journals and opened randomly to a few pages.  It was the fall of 1994.  Adam was two and Kerry was one.  I am so glad I took the time to write because I would have forgotten most of it, lost in the business of everyday life.  It reminded me why I loved being a stay-at-home mom so much.  All of those funny, innocent, everyday childhood happenings were the fuel that got me through those sleep-deprived years!

I'd like to share a few entries!



"There was an especially humorous thing that happened at the dinner table in late September.  We were trying to teach you manners.  Once night when you were finished eating and started to get out of your seat, I told you that you should ask, "May I please be excused?"  Well, you didn't have a clue what I was talking about.  You started to laugh and said "No, I am not a goose!  You're a goose!"


"We found a ladybug on the rug in the living room one day.  You were very intrigued by it.  We put it on a white piece of paper so you could see it better.  Then I put it in your hand and it crawled around on it. We left you alone for a few minutes and you came into the kitchen wit the ladybug between your fingers (dead) and said "Beetle bug won't go". You had no idea you had to be very gentle and had squeezed it too hard when you picked it up. We took it outside to the front step and told you it had to go home.  We through it into the air and pretended it was flying home. Now you have an imaginary beetle bug on the floor in the corner of your bedroom.  One of your bedtime stalling techniques is to get the beetle bug and pass it around to everyone to hold and pet it.  You even pretended to pull a beetle bug out of your hair in the bathtub the other night!"


"In September, we went to Burlington to see Grandma and Papa.  Daddy slept upstairs with Kerry and you got to sleep downstairs with me in a big boy bed.  The first night, you waited for me to come to bed and talked my ear off for almost an hour.   Then you woke me up at 6AM with a gentle kiss on my lips.  When I opened my eyes, you said "Mommy, you look like a doggie!"  I THINK it was meant as a compliment because you love the movie 101 Dalmatians.  I hope so, anyway."


"Every afternoon while Kerry was napping, you looked forward to our special time together. You would tell me what you wanted to do - just Mommy and Adam.  Sometimes we would read books, sitting with my arm around you, snuggling together. On January 12, 1994, one of the most touching moments of motherhood to date occurred. Before I had the chance to put my arm around you and begin reading, you scooched up higher on your knees and put your arm around my shoulders. You looked at me with such a face full of love.  Then you leaned over to kiss me, but missed my lips and kissed my nose instead.  You laughed and said "We kissed noses, Mommy!".  I felt like I was your girlfriend and could just picture you on a date 15 years from now.  I love you so much!"

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