For the first 50 years of my life, my perfectionist self mistakenly believed it was all about knowing more, getting it right, planning, attempting to prevent bad things from happening, and keeping all of my chicks in a row. It took me this long to discover that the JOURNEY is all that matters. This quote from Gilda Radner sums it all up:

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
"


Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Firsts and Lasts

As I walked my doggies this morning in the cool autumn air, I did a lot of reminiscing.  Today is the first day of school in our town.  Vance and I have just sent our last child off to school for her last year of high school.

The last first day of school that we will be a part of.

It has been a tradition since Adam began school many years ago. 
Daddy delays going to work that day to send them off. 
In our family, everything revolves around pictures,
so of course we take pictures every year!

The large neighborhood gathering at the bus stop from years past
is now a gathering of one.
Adam and Kerry are at college.
Neighbors kids are grown up.
The school bus comes later, but there is only one house with young children anymore.

 This is the way it was.  Adam acting happy and brave, but running to the bathroom the minute before the bus came due to his internal strife.  There's no hiding how Kerry felt and still does to some extent!  And Annie, happy and excited to be going off to face new adventures and meet new people.

This was Annie's first day of Kindergarten - pink backpack, friendship bracelet around the ankle from endless summer days at the swim club, and a smile.  The only reason she looked back at all was because she loved to have her picture taken!

 Keeping to our tradition, we took pictures this morning.



 Then she hurried off to school, excited to be back with her friends and see her teachers.


Annie has the same smile on her face that she did 13 years ago.



This will be a year of lasts. 
To be followed by a years of firsts.

I remember back in the days when life was filled with firsts, I read a poem about motherhood.  It told about how a child's "first" everything is so celebrated but the "lasts" just seems to happen without much notice. 

How many of us remember the last time we rocked our children to sleep?
Or the last time our children said "twee" for "tree"?
Or the last time we woke to one of our children standing by our bed after a nightmare, wanting to crawl in next to us for comfort?
The last time we left cookies out for Santa?
The last time we braided our daughter's hair?

I guess it's because we always expect things to happen again.

So when we KNOW a "last" is happening, we'd better take notice!
And celebrate!
Because just as "firsts" mark a time of growth in our children,
so do "lasts".

They just carry a different kind of emotion!



No comments:

Post a Comment