For the first 50 years of my life, my perfectionist self mistakenly believed it was all about knowing more, getting it right, planning, attempting to prevent bad things from happening, and keeping all of my chicks in a row. It took me this long to discover that the JOURNEY is all that matters. This quote from Gilda Radner sums it all up:

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
"


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

My Ladder of Success

In my 52 years of life, I have done many things.
I have also NOT done many things.

For instance,
I have never dived head first off a diving board.
I never went on Space Mountain.
Or the Tower of Terror.
When I became a mother, I would not fly in an
    airplane unless we went somewhere as a family.

I would say that I am probably more fearful than
       the average person.
I always think about the "what ifs".
What if I fly somewhere without my kids and the
       plane crashes and my kids have no mother?
What if ???????????????????

It's funny - I consider myself an optimist.
The glass is always half full, not half empty.
But in reality, perhaps I don't really live my life that way.

Over the years, I have conquered many fears.
This usually happens when the benefit of facing
        the fear out-weighs the fear itself -
like flying alone to Florida for my Dad's 70th birthday,
    or flying to be with my parents when they were
    in the hospital.
Being a parent also forces you to do things that you
    might have previously feared because of your love
    for your children.

TODAY I CONQUERED ANOTHER FEAR.

Until today, I have never climbed higher than
   maybe 8 rungs on a ladder.

But I was painting my living room and my husband
   was away on a business trip.

Before he left he asked me how I was going to paint
    the high parts of the wall.  He reminded me that he
    has a bad knee and wouldn't be able to climb up
    and down the ladder.

I really wanted to finish the room.........


So I went up a little higher
    and trimmed more of the side walls.
Then I went up another rung.

And another.

And another.

Before I knew it I was at the top of the ladder!
I was painting the highest part of the wall!
I wasn't shaking!
My legs didn't feel like jelly!
I DID IT!
I was SO PROUD of myself!


My living room used to be gold. 
Now it is "Persimmon".


This is the time of year that many kids are headed off to college.  They are forced to deal with things by themselves, without their parents.  For some it will be harder than for others, but I'm sure they all have fears.

And they will be forced to face them.

And they will conquer them.

One rung at a time.


"If you are distressed by anything external, 
the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to
your estimate of it; and this you have the 
power to revoke at any moment."
                                        ~Marcus Aurelius

 
 

2 comments:

  1. I like this philosophy....one rung at a time during the difficult parts.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just like I tell the mamas to be in my Childbirth Classes...'take ONE contraction at a time'!!!
    Love this post, Gayle!!! (way better than the bloody dismembered rabbit..lol)

    ReplyDelete