For the first 50 years of my life, my perfectionist self mistakenly believed it was all about knowing more, getting it right, planning, attempting to prevent bad things from happening, and keeping all of my chicks in a row. It took me this long to discover that the JOURNEY is all that matters. This quote from Gilda Radner sums it all up:

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
"


Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Boo!

Halloween has always been a BIG DEAL in this house!

The kids would put a lot of thought into what they would want to be...
and I would make it happen!

I only bought 2 costumes - the baby pumpkin costume and the brown bear.
The rest were hand made, and as the kids got older it was a collaborative effort.

As I look back, it was SOOOOO worth the time it took!


1991 - Adam was solo for only one year...


1992 - Adam was a bear and Kerry was a fat pumpkin (she was too large to fit into
           Adam's pumpkin costume of 1991)


1993 - The year they were obsessed with Disney's 101 Dalmations!



1994 - Winnie the Pooh was their favorite!  
 Adam was Pooh, Kerry was Piglet, and Vance and I were the Hephalumps!

1995 - Annie joined the group!  Annie was a bear.  Adam and Kerry  were really
           into Gumby, so Adam was Gumby and Kerry was Gumby's sister, Minga.


 1996 - Pocahontas was the Disney movie of choice this year.  They knew
            every word to every song in the movie.  Kerry was Pocahontas
            and Adam was Kocoum.

Annie just wanted to be a bunny.  Here she is holding Bun-bun,
her favorite stuffed animal.

 1997 - There was no real theme this year.  Kerry wanted to be a princess
            (and I'm proud to say I actually sewed the dress!)

 Annie was Piglet this year...

Adam was a butterfly...

 I was a cat...


 And Vance was a "woman"...  (He did his own make-up!)


1998 - Adam was obsessed with the Titanic, so I made his a replica costume
            complete with Rose and Jack at the front of the ship!  Kerry was a
            Japanese geisha, and Annie was a princess (she always got the
            hand-me down costumes!)



1999 - Harry Potter was popular this year, so Adam was Harry...
  Annie was a hand-me-down butterfly, and Kerry was a very cute witch!


2000 - Everyone got a new costume this year!  Adam was a pint of Ben&Jerry's
           ice cream, Annie was a leaf pile, and Kerry was a scarecrow.


2001 - Annie was very happy to be a hillbilly, Adam was something American,
           and Kerry was an alien.  Adam and Kerry designed and made their own
           costumes this year!



2002 - Adam and Kerry made their own mummy costumes and I made Annie a
           Spongebob Squarepants costume.  Trick-or-treating ended in tears for Annie
           that year when she tripped and fell, cracking Spongebob (he was made out
           of styrofoam) in pieces!



2003 -  Kerry was an old woman, Adam was and old man, and Annie was a clown.





2004 - The older kids went to friends' houses to get ready, so I only had Annie to
           take pictures of.   She was a Japanese lady.


2005 -  I don't really know what they were!  My job as Halloween costume designer
            was over.  Done.  I was partly relieved, but mostly sad that those fun times
            had come to an end already!



2006 - No kids dressed up (sniff, sniff)

2007 - Annie had a Halloween party to go to, so she got dresses up with her friend, Gigi.
            She was Dorothy, of course!

To my kids, I hope this brings back happy memories for you!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

In the Olive Oil Aisle

When I woke up to my alarm this morning, I felt like going back to sleep.
But I couldn't.
I had to be up and dressed for a mattress delivery between 8 and noon.

As I was eating breakfast, I noticed my left eye hurt every time I blinked.
When I examined it in a magnifying mirror, I discovered a little whitehead pimple on my lower eyelid - a stye.  Even though webmd said not to pop it, I have to admit I couldn't resist.
It felt better afterward.

It was one of those cloudy, dreary fall days where the sun never came out from behind the clouds.

The refrigerator was bare, so I thought I should get some groceries.
So I put the dogs in the car and I went to Whole Foods.

It was here I found my sunshine.
Not in the sky, but in the aisle next to the olive oil.

His name was Glen Miller.
I know that because he announced it as I was passing by.
"Hello, my name is Glen Miller!"

He was an older gentleman with a coat and hat on.
He was accompanied by his daughter (I assumed).

I laughed and asked him if he was running for office!
It seemed like just what a politician would do!

Then he did something unexpected.
He sang to me!
He sang a love song of some kind,
a song from days long past when he was a much younger man.

I think he was flirting with me!

His daughter informed me he has dementia and his name really isn't Glen Miller.
It was Glen something, though I don't remember what she said.
I prefer Glen Miller anyways!

As I continued my shopping,  I had a smile on my face.

But by the end of the next aisle, I knew I had to get a picture
with Glen Miller.  After searching a few aisles back, I saw them
at the checkout.

Leaving my cart, I walked over to his daughter and asked if she
could take a picture of me and her dad and told her how much he
had brightened my day.

I don't know if he remembered me, but he was glad to pose
with me for some pictures. 

 First he took one with his hat...
 Then took it off for one more!

Then he sang for me one more time...
(If anyone knows what song this is, please tell me)


Friday, October 19, 2012

Blessings in Disguise

"There are no mistakes, no coincidences. 
All events are blessings given to us to learn from. "
                   ~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

When things happen in my life,  I trust that there is a reason.
The reason is not always evident at the time, but looking back
I can see the good that came about, the change it may have forced
upon me, or the growth that occurred because of it.

It's the unpleasant events I am referring to now.

After all, we don't usually try to find reasons for the joyful ones.

Perhaps it's just my way of dealing with the difficult ones, like
loss, sadness, disappointment, and despair.

This past month, my family has experienced things that stop and make
you think.

One such event was the hospitalization of my husband, Vance.

Totally healthy one day, and a few days later - not.

After bringing him to the Emergency Room one day a few weeks ago
and coming home alone with no answers to his unbearable headaches
and fever, I lay awake for much of the night with my mind racing.

I thought about all he means to our family.







And  I thought about what our lives would be like without him.

I can't really speak for the kids, but possibly a few of these same
thoughts could have crossed their minds too because Adam and Kerry
came home from college to spend time in the hospital with him.

And I'm sure over the past three weeks that Vance has contemplated
many things too.

We have discovered that Vance has Legionnaire's Disease that
he picked up while at a business conference in Utah earlier in September.
He's recovering - although more slowly than we imagined - but home
from the hospital and doing well.

Is it weird for me to think, even now, that this was a blessing in disguise?

Monday, October 15, 2012

Back in Time

I would never have thought of this today if it wasn't for my son, Adam.
When I woke up this morning and got on Facebook, there was a message
from Adam with a link to a lullabye we used to listen to.
He and his friends were talking about lullabies last night - a likely
conversation for college seniors, I guess!

It started bringing back memories of those days when the nightly
routine included putting a lullabye tape into the Fisher Price tape
player and rocking the youngest child to sleep.

Annie was home sick from school this morning and we began
looking up the old familiar lullabyes on youtube.

I was amazed how easy it was to remember every word -
and both Annie and I sang along to our favorites.

Then I downloaded our two favorite CD's from iTunes so
we will have them in the coming years when there will
once again be a little one to rock to sleep ( I hope).

Until then,  I can look back on our home videos to a time when
Annie was 2 years old and I was still in my 30's.

The sound and video quality is a little fuzzy, but you can get the gist!

Oh, how much I'd love to go back in time and do this once again!

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Lucky

 I will never forget this baby squirrel that I met back in 2003.



The kids found it on the ground, probably pushed from the nest by its mother.

They tried to put it back on the tree, but it was too weak to climb back up.
 
When they called me outside to see it, they had put it in a laundry basket
with some soft grass as a cushion.  They were going to save it.

They named it "Lucky".

After examining "Lucky" more closely, I realized it was not an appropriate name.
Under its fur, it was crawling with maggots.  I had to break the news to the kids.


 They didn't want "Lucky" to get attacked by any animals, so they built him a little
 shelter at the base of the tree out of duck tape. 

"Lucky" didn't make it.


Jump forward to 2012 - just last week.

I had just gotten out of the shower when I heard a soft knock on the bathroom door.

It was Kerry and she was holding a little creature in my blue dishtowel.

She had found it on the back porch after our cat Maddie had a little play time with it.

It was cold. wet and shaking. 



 And apparently had escaped any serious injuries.  The fur on its tail had been stripped away, but it would grow back.

We didn't know what it was, but we narrowed it down to either a baby squirrel or a chipmunk.

Kerry found an old shoe box and placed him gently inside.

She added some corn treats and some bird seed.

It wasn't long before it was cracking open sunflower seeds and ravenously eating everything in sight.

It was still shaking and wet, so we put the box on a heating pad.  Over the next hour or so, it stopped shaking and it's fur dried off.  Using google images and the help of our animal-loving neighbor Cindy, we decided he was definitely a chipmunk, and not a baby at all.

Unlike the baby squirrel back in 2003, this chipmunk really was "lucky".

He got to spend some time in a toasty box with lots of food before going back to his chipmunk family and hopefully living a long, happy life!

Thanks to Kerry.



 

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Making Time

We all have busy lives.  Too much to do. 
School, jobs, commitments, to-do lists...
It just never ends.

Getting together with family sometimes seems impossible.
If you wait until the perfect time for everyone, it will never happen.

So when family members put their lives on hold and make time for each other,
it is all the more meaningful.

That's what happened for me this past week.
My sister Lori and her daughters Mikey and Emily dropped their work,
schoolwork, and all responsibilities, traveled 15 hours from Alaska,
and made time for their family and friends.

Though it rained almost every hour of their visit,  we made the most of our time together.


Times we will never forget...




because we have LOTS of pictures!





 Moments captured...






 Memories made...



 Frozen in time.


When our time together comes to an end, so do the smiles.


Because the distance is too far and our times together too few.

That's why making time is so important.


Monday, September 24, 2012

One Big Happy Family - Not

How is it that some siblings can argue and fight one minute and be best friends the next?
And other siblings just can't get past their differences to find a common ground?

I'm a member of a family that just can't get along, and I'm not proud of it.

Growing up, we never really fought a lot.  The first two of my siblings were spaced two years apart, then I was 4 years from my brother, and my sister Lori was 4 years after me. 

The first two interacted a lot as children, but given the 4 years between the rest of us there wasn't a lot of "playing together" as children.  I was at home alone with mom for 4 years while my brother and older sister were in school and my sister Lori had mom all to herself when I went to school.  We weren't in high school or college together.  My older sister is 6 years older than me.  Other than our time at home, we just didn't interact with each other very much.

So it's really been in the years that we have been adults that we haven't gotten along. 

It's not all of us.  There is a real bond between the first 2 siblings and the last 2 siblings.
But there is little or no friendship between the two pairs.

They say that sibling rivalry during childhood plays a role in adult sibling relationships, but I think in the case of our family the rivalry BEGAN as we progressed into adulthood and started our families.

Sibling rivalry is a normal aspect of childhood, experts say. Our siblings are our first rivals. They competed with us for the love and attention of the people we needed most, our parents, and it is understandable that we occasionally felt threatened. Much of what is written about sibling rivalry focuses on its effects during childhood.

But our sibling relationships are often the longest of our lives, lasting 80 years or more. Several research studies indicate that up to 45% of adults have a rivalrous or distant relationship with a sibling.

In the case of my family, it seems the rivalry began AFTER we were adults.  It makes sense because that was finally a time when we were all at a common place - working, buying our first houses, cars, having children.  Even as adults, it seemed that it revolved around competition for the love and attention of our parents.  

My younger sister and I had formed a strong bond in the years we were home alone together in high school and college.  My brother and older sister had formed a bond in their younger years and also in high school and college, given their closeness in age.

We were never a family that threw our differences out there and had a rip-roaring fight to sort it out.  We internalized things and kept all of the pain and hurt inside to keep the peace.  If we HAD fought as children, maybe we would have been better equipped to handle differences as adults.  We would know our bond was forever - no matter what.  We would care enough to make sure our differences didn't drive us apart.  We would be each other's cheerleaders.  And we would understand that our parents were trying their best to meet the needs of their children, but they were not perfect. It may have seemed that they had chosen favorites, loved unevenly or compared one child with the other.

Our parents have been gone now for over 3 years.  I had hopes that all of this nonsense would end.
But it hasn't.   I know it made my parents sad in the later years of their lives that they couldn't get all of their children together and have a happy, loving time together.

It saddens me that it continues.

But I've come to accept that it probably will never change.

 

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Meet the Oshiros!

If you're looking for a website to make your own Christmas cards
this year - you know, the ones with a pictures of your kids or family
on the front - then check out this one:

www.minted.com

We used them last year and it really paid off!

I got an email from a company representative in June.
She told me they really liked our family picture that
we used on the card and they would like to use it on
their website to show cards for the 2012 collection!

Wow!  I was so excited! 

After signing a photo release form that they sent,
I got a coupon for 25% off and a voucher for $150!

Sooooooo,  the 2012 collection is out!

There are a lot of pretty designs...






But,  meet the Oshiros...



I kind of like our new name!

I looked it up:

Oshiro is a popular family name in Okinawa, from the large castle of the former Okinawan kingdoms. This literally translates into "big castle"

In the United States, this surname ranks 9,791st out of a total of 88,799 Japanese surnames.

Thanks for reading!

Gayle Oshiro  :)


Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Poison Ivy, Oatmeal and Motherhood

A few weeks ago, I was feeling like the hours I spend being a mom were waning.

Adam, who hasn't lived at home more than a few weeks in the last year, has moved into a house on campus for his final year of college.

Kerry, a Junior in college, has moved into a beautiful apartment on campus.

And Annie - well,  let's just say I haven't been feeling needed or wanted lately.
In her last year of high school, her world is very busy and she is capable of handling
the events of her life pretty well on her own. 
 
Until now.

She got poison ivy over a week ago when she was helping
clear the cross country course at school.

When she told me only a few days ago, I figured she had
everything under control.  If she needed my help, she would ask for it.

Before bed late last night she showed me her ankle.
I have never had poison ivy, but I thought it looked pretty nasty.
She showed where it had been spread up her leg and to her other ankle.



Then she told me how she had made a concoction of oatmeal and
baking soda earlier in the evening.  You were supposed to
put in on the blisters and let it dry, but she told me it just kept running off
her ankle and dripping.  It never got a chance to dry.  She had even tried
to keep it on with saran wrap.



Hmmm...

It was then that I began questioning her. 
I asked her if she had changed her towel since the breakout.
No.
I asked her if she had changed her sheets since the breakout.
No.
I asked her if she had worn the same shoes since the breakout.
Yes.
Same clothing?
Yes.

My motherhood juices started flowing!
I had a job again!  I was needed!
Like when they were little and would come running
inside when they got a boo-boo!

After making sure there were clean sheets on the bed,
a clean towel in the bathroom, and a pile of dirty
clothes and bed linen to wash, I went to bed.

When I got up this morning, Annie had gone to school already.
As usual, I went to the sink to put the dirty dishes into the dishwasher
when I saw a dried up bowl of Cream of Wheat.

I smiled and chuckled to myself!

No wonder the "oatmeal" had run down her leg last night!


So, to finish the story...

I took Annie to our pediatrician, Dr. Steve, after school today.
She got to go into the "space" room!
He thought it looked infected and gave her antibiotics.

Now she has another problem.

She can't swallow pills!







Thursday, September 13, 2012

Lessons from a Squirrel

When I think about writing a new blog post, I usually have a general idea of what I want to say then I do a little research online for quotes or information that will support or contribute to the topic in some way.  I actually end up learning a few things in the process.

Today I knew what I wanted to write about.

Squirrels.



In particular, the hundreds of squirrels that have run in front of my car
in the past few weeks.
EVERY time I drive anywhere, it happens.

They sit on the side of the road and wait until the last minute
to dart across in front of me.

OR, they stop in the middle of the road long enough to make eye contact - causing me to swerve my car to avoid them.  The only problem is, they don't always continue across where I expect them to go!
Sometimes they deliberately go back in the direction I have gone to avoid them!

I swear I saw a squirrel yesterday carrying something - and it wasn't a nut!
Probably trying to capture the look on my face to publish in some squirrel newpaper!

But seriously,  in my research forced me to think deeper about squirrels
and what we can learn from.

1)  The squirrel only actually finds 10% of the nuts he hides for safekeeping.

      I know that I am guilty of over-preparing sometimes.  I try to think of all
      of the possible things that can happen and cover for them.  A lot of time
      and money is wasted preparing for things that never actually happen. 

2)  I wish I had the guts to just sprint to where I want to go,
     taking risks more readily,
     leaping from branch to branch without a care about falling.

3)  Sometimes you can't sprint to the finish line.  Often you cannot rush things. 
     Some things just take time.  No matter how much you want them to happen faster
     or how much you try.

and lastly

4)  Often the squirrel is almost across the road, but when scared by an oncoming car
     turns around retreats back to where he came from.  Isn't this true of us too? 
     We often get scared or let minor setbacks stop us from doing something,
     when in fact we were closer to our goal than we thought.

In my research, I never actually found out why squirrels are darting in front of my car
so much this year.  If anyone knows, please tell me.  I don't remember them being so
active ever before. 

Does it have to do with the weather? 

Does it say something about the upcoming winter?

Or since last winter was so mild,  are there just more squirrels this year?

I wish I knew.