For the first 50 years of my life, my perfectionist self mistakenly believed it was all about knowing more, getting it right, planning, attempting to prevent bad things from happening, and keeping all of my chicks in a row. It took me this long to discover that the JOURNEY is all that matters. This quote from Gilda Radner sums it all up:

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
"


Monday, September 23, 2013

Lightening the Load

When I was trekking around NYC a few weeks ago,  I  was well-equipped with my camera and a few lenses so I could take pictures of interesting things I happened upon.

Big mistake.

1)  I felt like a target when riding the subway if I didn't have my camera hidden - which is hard to do when it's so large.

2)  I felt like I had a sign on my forehead that read "I am a tourist".

3)  When it began to rain, I had to be concerned about protecting my camera.

4)  After 5 hours, my shoulders were aching and I had to keep switching the strap from one side to the other to redistribute the load.


With plans to spend much more time in the city accompanying Vance on business trips now that we are empty nesters,  I set out in search of another way to satisfy my photographic needs.

Not wanting to spend hundreds of dollars on another camera, and since I already have a decent camera on my iphone, I investigated options for my phone camera.

Photojojo.com had the answer!




Buy the Photojojo Phone Lens Series at the Photojojo Store!


For only $50, I bought 3 lenses that attach to my iphone camera magnetically -
a fisheye, wide angle/macro, and 2x telephoto.





You just need to take your iphone out the it's case and stick this magnetic ring around the camera on the backside of the phone.



Each lens has a magnetic cap over the back to protect it.


To attach the lens, just pull off the magnetic cap and put the lens onto the magnetic ring around the camera.


Each lens is extremely small, lightweight and easy to carry in your pocketbook.


I tried each lens a little this weekend.  Above is the fisheye lens.


The macro lens took this close-up of a map.


I love the wide-angle lens too!



Next time a go to the city,  I'll leave my large DSLR at home and travel lighter!

Monday, September 16, 2013

Everybody's Beautiful

Urban Dictionary definition of "teen-age girl"
The Teenage Girl is possibly the absolute stupidest, most materialistic, and shallow kind of human there is, and by definition the easiest to make money off of.

As a senior portrait photographer,  I  make my money mostly off of teen-age girls.

They put their faith in me to take pictures of them that they like.

That's a pretty tough job description, and it's not always easy. Sometimes it's impossible.

Girls today are so critical of their appearance - much more so than when I was in high school.


This was my high school yearbook picture.  I had my Dorothy Hamill haircut, my onyx earrings and a simple peach jersey top.   There were no other pictures. This was it.  It was an honest picture of what I looked like on a daily basis in high school.  I was not the class beauty queen.  I was in the nerdy group.


When someone comes to me for senior pictures,  my goal is to take honest pictures.
When they try their best to put on the smile they've practiced in the mirror at home,  I try to get the real, honest smile that their mom and dad know and love.

When girls are uptight,  my job is to relax them.
When girls are afraid,  my job is to put their minds at ease.
When girls don't think they're beautiful, my job is to show them that they are.

Back in my youth, there was a song that I loved by Ray Stevens called "Everything is Beautiful".  Released in August 1970, it took home two Grammy awards that year.  The famous lyrics center around the following words:

Everything is beautiful
In its' own way
Like a starry summer night
Or a snow covered winter's day
Everybody's beautiful
In their own way
Under God's heaven
The world's gonna find a way

I truly believe that everyone is beautiful.  I don't think I could do this job if I didn't. 

But the world today often teaches something very different.

"There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection.  To me, that is the true essence of beauty"  ~ Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You

Most teen-age girls aren't there yet.  They want to look like someone else.  

"This is a call to arms. A call to be gentle, to be forgiving, to be generous with yourself.  The next time you look into the mirror, try to let go of the story line that says you're too fat or too sallow, too ashy or too old, your eyes are too small or your nose is too big; just look int the mirror and see your face.  When the criticism drops away, what you will see then is just you, without judgement, and that is the first step toward transforming your experience of the world."    ~Oprah Winfrey

I disagree with the Urban Dictionary's definition of a teen-age girl.  While that is the face that many girls show to the world,  if you look beneath the surface they are just insecure little girls who are trying to be beautiful.  

I wish they knew they already are.






Sunday, September 8, 2013

Negative Space

 Negative space. White space. Empty space. The void.

In this photograph, the negative space is what draws attention to the subject of the image.  The emptiness is just as important as the subject.


What an entirely different meaning this image would convey if there was no emptiness.

It's not easy to allow emptiness.  

We always feel like we should fill up our space, our time, our minds.

It almost seems irresponsible to waste all that space or time.


When my last child moved out of the house a few weeks ago, my first impulse was to fill up the emptiness.  I went to NYC and filled up my days with activity.  

When I came home, I thought I needed to formulate a plan for my new life.  Not a total overhaul, but I felt I needed to do something different.

After much thought,  I came to the conclusion that the emptiness is not a bad thing.

Just as in the image above,  the negative space is what allows the content to be heard.  

Why not try to go back to a time when daydreaming was a positive thing?  A time when I didn't feel guilty doing frivolous things. Not all the time, but maybe with that extra time I find I may have now. 

I practiced my new mindset today.  I could have been editing pictures or cleaning the house, but I chose to do something not so responsible.


I chose to lay outside on a blanket and enjoy the sun and the wind.


I wasn't alone for long.



White space is natural behavior for cats.  


It's not easy to allow emptiness.
But it feels really good when you do.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Filling the Void

After leaving Annie in Rochester, Vance was also leaving for the rest of the week.  He was going to New York on business.  The prospect of being totally alone for the rest of the week didn't appeal much to me at this time, so I decided "Why not go with him?"

We took an early train to the city on Tuesday, dropped our bags off at the hotel, and parted ways.

I was still alone, but at least I was alone with a million other people!

Whenever I had spent time in the city in the past, I was always with someone else.  I always had a specific place to go.  This time I could go wherever I wanted to go and do whatever I wanted to do.  I had a guidebook, a subway map on my iphone and my camera.

For two days, I walked the streets until my feet ached, rode the subways to unknown neighborhoods and spent a lot of time with my reading glasses and my map trying to figure out just where I was and how to get to where I wanted to go!


Columbia University
 But I had no timetable.

St. John the Divine Cathedral

And no place I needed to be.

Hot Dog for lunch in Central Park

I could browse the aisle in the huge Container Store for an hour...


Sit down and watch people in Washington Square Park in Greenwich Village...


or spend hours at the Museum of Modern Art, even though it was dinner time!



It wasn't the art that necessarily thrilled me.


Such as this "Portrait of a Woman"


or "Dance" by Henri Matisse.

I loved the architecture of the building.  




I loved watching people sit and study the art, wondering what they were seeing that I was missing.



One time, just for kicks, I decided to study and take pictures of a blank wall with a door and a sign "electrical closet".


It would have made my day if someone had joined me!

On the second day I was there, I decided I would give a little money to every homeless beggar I passed.  It didn't cost me much, but I received many thankful smiles that day.  I wish I had taken pictures!


What I love most about cities is what you find when you're looking for something else.



On the third morning, I decided I was ready to come home.
I was tired and the city just isn't a very restful place for me.
When everyone and everything is moving so fast, it's hard to slow down.

So I made my way to Grand Central Station and hopped on the train back to New Haven with minutes to spare.

I stopped at Whole Foods on the way home to stock up for the week...


I guess I don't need such a big shopping cart anymore!


When I finally got home, there were two friendly faces welcoming me!

The trip was a nice diversion to get me over the hump of having no children at home.

Now it's time to start considering how I want the rest of my life to be.


Saturday, August 31, 2013

Annie's New Digs

After all of the drama/anticipation/anxiety/excitement of the past year, the day finally came for Annie to move away to college at the Eastman School of Music in Rochester.

She was scheduled to move in at 10:30 AM on Monday, but due to the long drive we decided to go up on Sunday so the move wasn't so hectic.

The car was all packed.


Before we pulled away,  Annie ran to the front yard to take a picture of the house on her phone (maybe she thought she'd forget what it looked like!)


Then we were off!


The next morning, we pulled up in front of the dorm at 10:30 and were met by a large group of Eastman sophomores with large bins.


One of them greeted us and helped unload the car into a rolling bin. We needed two trips to get everything up to her room.


Inside the dorm was a welcome sign with the names of all members of the Eastman freshman class.


Annie stopped at a table to get her room key and we headed to the elevator to go up to the 10th floor.



When we first saw the room, I wondered if everything would fit!


After meeting Carley, Annie's roommate, Vance and I retired to the lounge to wait for Annie to unpack.  The room just couldn't accommodate all of us!





She managed to find a place for almost everything - we took back a few plastic storage drawers and her big duffle bag.


After a trip to the bookstore for a sweatshirt...


a tasty frozen yogurt, and a drive to the main U. of Rochester campus,

 
it was time to say good-bye and get on our way.


This was the last time I smiled for quite a few hours.  After this picture I gave Annie a hug and the sobs began.


As we left Rochester the skies opened up , commiserating what I was feeling inside!  I already missed her!