For the first 50 years of my life, my perfectionist self mistakenly believed it was all about knowing more, getting it right, planning, attempting to prevent bad things from happening, and keeping all of my chicks in a row. It took me this long to discover that the JOURNEY is all that matters. This quote from Gilda Radner sums it all up:

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
"


Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Lessons from My Father

It has been almost two years since my father had a stroke which led to his passing in early April of 2009 at the age of 81.  I still think of him often, sometimes with a smile and sometimes with tears.   He was the single most influential person in my life, and that continues to be true even now.  I admired almost everything about him.  They say that actions speak louder than words.  My dad's actions were his teachings.



He grew up on a farm in West Rutland, Vermont.  There was a lot to be done and each of the kids did their share.  My father had a tremendous work ethic.
One of the many jobs my father held was a bartender, although he rarely drank much himself.
 (That is my mother with the dark hair.)


If you are able to  do the job yourself, do it. Don't waste money by paying someone to do it for you.

I can probably count on only one hand the number of times my dad hired someone to do work for our family.  If something was broken, he fixed it.  If he didn't know how, he figured it out.  He was up for any challenge, big or small.  His creativity and logic combined to allow him to be successful in just about anything he attempted.   I remember how proud he was when he came home from work one day to find that I had taken my 10 speed bike apart, cleaned it, and put was putting it back together.  He taught us that you can't be afraid to try!
 My dad and my sister, Lori, standing on the new deck he built on her
home in Alaska the summer before he died.
 Here he is installing a new dishwasher for us when he was 76 years old.


He cut down trees and build a multi-level deck and screened-in porch on our house.


 Rain did not stop him.  Vance was so happy to be working with him out in the rain!
            



Look for the good in everything and everyone.  


He would always say "That's the beauty part of it!"  He was an optimist through and through.  He saw the beauty in all people and things.





                      Don't forget what it's like to be a kid. 
Act silly sometimes and don't worry about
what people will think.






 Stay active and be a big part of your kids lives
and your grandkids lives. You will be remembered more for what you do WITH them than any material gift you give to them.





 Never, ever give up without giving your best effort, no matter what life throws at you!



After his stroke, Dad never gave up hope that he would regain his ability to walk.


  
And he never lost his sense of humor (You wouldn't believe how often he stuck his tongue out for pictures throughout his life!)

 He told us his rehabilitation was the hardest thing he had ever faced...and he gave it 110%!

 Here he was released from the hospital to the rehab center.  He was happy to be able to ride
 in his red pick-up truck again.  It was his pride and joy!


                     And last but not least, keep smiling!
My brother and my father really liked the speech therapist and thought she was cute.  My dad gave me an extra big smile for this picture!

After watching him take care of my mother when she was at the end of her life, we learned from him the importance of being there for your loved ones, no matter how inconvenient or difficult it may be.  Cherish all the time you have and don't let them down when the going gets tough.  I am proud to say that my dad was alone for only a couple of days in the 2 months he was in the hospital and rehab in Florida.  My brother and sister and I were with him from morning until night.  We wouldn't have had it any other way.

1 comment:

  1. Gayle,
    What a beautiful, loving tribute to your father. He sounded like a very special guy---I only wish I could have met him in person!
    ps...love the big hair (both you and your dad! :))

    ReplyDelete