Yearning for Vermont

For the first 54 years of my life,  I never missed spending at least a few days in Vermont in October.  I lived there for 22 years.  I visited my parents for the next 28 years with my husband and then later with my family.  My son began college in Middlebury the year that I had no parents to visit anymore.  My daughter joined him in Vermont at UVM. Last year and this year,  our own kids came home to Connecticut to spend time with us.  It has come full circle, except now the center of the circle is here, not there.

Being spoiled by the magic of the fall season in Vermont,  I've never given Connecticut a chance.   When I think about the fall, every picture that comes to mind is Vermont.  Vermont = Foliage = Apple Cider = Stowe = Maple Syrup = Autumn.  Maybe it's time now to embrace the beauty of the state where I've lived for 34 years - many years longer than Vermont.

Last week, I left at 8:00 AM, with an open mind, to discover the beauty of autumn in Connecticut.  Named by National Geographic Traveler as one of the most scenic driving destinations in the country (or so I read), the Litchfield hills in the northwest corner of the state was my destination.

I got off the highway in Southbury and headed on CT-67 through Roxbury to New Milford.  I wanted to see New Milford because I had read that the gazebo on the town green was the inspiration for the gazebo in Stars Hollow (the CT town in the tv show, Gilmore Girls).

I found the gazebo easily, but the town was devoid of people and lacking the small town feeling that made Stars Hollow a warm and welcoming place on TV.

But the architecture was wonderful and everything was picturesque.

I loved the sculpture in front of the library, but these were the only children I saw!

 I headed out of town and stopped by a bubbling brook reflecting the colors of the season.

Then, as I was meandering down a country road, some bright blue buildings up ahead caught my eye.  As I was passing,  I saw a name on the sign that made my heart skip a beat.  My maiden name was Orzech, and it's not a name I'm used to seeing in passing.  I turned around and went back to take a picture.  I wondered if Edward is any relation to my dad.  I googled him and discovered that Edward Orzech owned this feed store and passed away in 2008. 

Continuing on my journey,  I found a barn that looks like it could be in Vermont.  Most of the farms I passed looked very well maintained, but this one has that "Vermont" charm.

 I had two covered bridges on the agenda, and I found the first one just outside the town of Kent.

 When I got to Kent,  I stopped for lunch.  I had packed a sandwich, but decided to add a chocolate milkshake and a donut.  If I were in Vermont,  it would be a cider donut, but I got it anyway.

Kent is a pretty ritzy town with lots of shops and restaurants.

The surrounding area is home to many celebrities I am told.

Everything in Kent looks perfect.

After buying a few Christmas gifts at a few of the shops,  I got back in the car and drove once again.

I think every church I passed was white and most of them had red doors!

The second covered bridge was in West Cornwall.

 Many tourists were stopping to see it and it was nice.

This was my last stop of the day.

During the hour that it took me to get back home,  I thought about the day.  I saw a lot of scenic towns, pristine barns, horses, streams, foliage.  I tried my hardest to really like the towns I visited and the scenery I passed.

I did like them.

I didn't love them.

There's something about Vermont that can't be duplicated (at least in my mind).  I missed walking down Maple Street in Burlington, my feet rustling through a blanket of leaves.  I missed the blue of Lake Champlain contrasting with the fall colors of the Adirondacks across the lake.  I missed the local artisans displaying their creations.  I missed watching the apples being pressed into fresh apple cider.  I missed hot cider donuts that melt in your mouth.  I missed being able to buy maple candy in every store.  I missed real farms run by real people.  I missed old houses and barns that look old and far from perfect. I missed the warm, down-to-earth Vermont people.  I missed passing Camel's Hump on the highway. 

I missed mountains.  

Fall in Vermont is not just pretty trees. 

It's an event that lasts for many weeks.

It's an experience.

It's a feeling.

It's a celebration.

I missed the party for two years in a row. 

If I have my way, I will not miss it again.

If It's Not One Thing, It's Another

Today was one of those days.  I didn't sleep well last night.   I was awakened many times by my husband's snoring, and each time I lay awake trying to stop my mind from racing from one thought to another.  I tried to tell myself that any recurring thoughts could wait until morning. I tried to empty my mind - unsuccessfully. 

I'm sure every person reading this can identify.  

Laying in bed in the middle of the night,  exhaustion does strange things to your thoughts.   You beat yourself up.  You doubt yourself.  Problems are magnified exponentially.  You know you're being irrational,  but you just can't jump off the spinning wheel.

When I got up this morning,  I felt crappy - both physically and mentally.  I did something I very rarely do.  I went back to bed.  Even upon waking the second time,  I had no energy and no appetite.  I knew I had to pry my feet out of the mud and do things to put myself in a better frame of mind.  Having two dogs by my side, eager to go for a walk, helped get me going.

I ate lunch, got dressed, and leashed my dogs.  Just getting outside and getting moving helped immensely.  Four miles later,  I was beginning to feel better.  But I didn't want to go back in the house.  So I put the dogs in the back of the car, grabbed my camera, and drove.  Windows down, radio off. 

The colors, while not peak yet, were very beautiful.

The pond in Broad Brook was very crowded when we got there.

Sami and Halle were very interested in the geese.

When they flew by the car,  I thought Sami was going to jump out the window!

The geese kept flying away in large groups.   I wondered where they were all going.

We watched the sunset before heading home for dinner.

My head is in a much better place now.

My body, though, has another issue.

Over the course of the day, I've noticed more and more little itchy bumps on my ankles, behind my knees... 

I've had scabies before and suspect I may have picked up some of those little mites when I tried on clothes at the mall yesterday. 

If it's not one thing, it's another.

You Are Absolutely Forbidden to Drive

My sister and I had a conversation recently about fear.  Both being in our 50's, we looked back on the role that fear has taken in our lives.  As children, we were both pretty fearful of new experiences - so much that we allowed fear to prevent us from trying new things.  I remember having a very small electric organ that I got for Christmas one year.  I played songs on that organ constantly and loved it.  I felt I had so much talent, yet there was no way in hell I would ever take piano lessons.  Fear of the unknown.  Fear of failure.  Fear.

We have both led successful lives even as we struggled to overcome our fears.  And we both agreed we have made much progress.  But will we ever rid ourselves completely of this nasty friend?  Probably not.  We wonder, though, how different our lives might have been without it.

I just finished reading (listening to) a wonderful book by the author of "Eat, Pray, Love", Elizabeth Gilbert. This book, "Big Magic", addresses the subject of "creative living beyond fear".  As I was listening,  I was naturally thinking of myself and photography,  but I couldn't help but think about the young people I know who are embarking on creative careers - Ali, Hali, Lyndsay, Jon, Annie and all of those young musicians I have met at her school.

As I made my way through its pages, written with honesty, wisdom, humor, and insight, I came to believe it is a valuable read for anyone.

We all have fears.  Some more than others. And we all have fears that often affect the choices we make - no matter how much we wish they didn't.

And no matter how stupid we know they are.

Here are a few excerpts for "Big Magic" that really hit home with me (really the entire book hit home with me).

The first is a letter that Elizabeth Gilbert wrote to her fear.  Even though she is addressing fear as related to creativity,  it's easy to generalize.

"Dearest Fear:  Creativity and I are about to go on a road trip together.  I understand you'll be joining us, because you always do.  I acknowledge that you believe you have an important job to do in my life, and that you take your job seriously.  Apparently your job is to induce complete panic whenever I'm about to do anything interesting - and, may I say, you are superb at your job. So by all means, keep doing your job, if you feel you must. But I will also be doing my job on this road trip, which is to work hard and stay focused.  And Creativity will be doing its job, which is to remain stimulating and inspiring.  There is plenty of room in this vehicle for all of us, so make yourself at home, but understand this: Creativity and I are the only ones who will be making any decisions along the way. I recognize and respect that you are a part of this family and so I will never exclude you from our activities, but still - your suggestions will never be followed.  You're allowed to have a seat and you're allowed to have a voice, but you're not allowed to have a vote.  You're not allowed to touch the road maps; you're not allowed to suggest detours; you're not allowed to fiddle with the temperature.  Dude, you're not even allowed to touch the radio.  But above all else, my dear old familiar friend, you are absolutely forbidden to drive."

"It isn't always comfortable or easy - carrying your fear around with you on your great and ambitious road trip, I mean - but it's always worth it, because if you can't learn to travel comfortably alongside your fear, then you'll never be able to go anywhere interesting or do anything interesting.

And that would be a pity, because your life is short and rare and amazing and miraculous, and you want to do really interesting things and make really interesting things while you're still here.  I know that's what you want for yourself, because that's what I want for myself too.

It's what we all want.

And you have treasures hidden within you - extraordinary treasures - and so do I, and so does everyone around us.  And bringing those treasure to light takes work and faith and focus and courage and hours of devotion, and the clock is ticking, and the world is spinning, and we simply do not have time anymore to think so small."

I loved listening to the audiobook because it is narrated by Elizabeth Gilbert.  She is not only a talented writer, but also a fabulous speaker and storyteller!  Also note,  the Deep, Dark Fears comics are NOT from the book.

Do What You Love and Do It Often

This is not meant to be boastful,

but I am reasonably good at a lot of things.

I love the challenge of learning something new.

I'm persistent.

I'm meticulous.

I'm patient.

If something intrigues me, I will go the distance

until I figure out how to do it

or until I understand it.

It is at that point that I often lose interest.

The initial thrill is gone.

I move on.

Photography is the only thing that has been a constant.

I guess I would call it my passion.

I couldn't imagine my life without my camera.

If I'm feeling worried or restless,  I often grab my camera and go outside, not knowing what I will end up focusing on.

Do you know how long it took me to get a clear, close-up picture of a busy ant?

I was laying on the ground with my macro lens, trying to hold it steady and prepare for the moment when the ant crawled out of the crack in the rock.

I love this shot I took after a downpour the other day!  Macro lens again, on a tripod,  focused on the chrome part of the car door handle.  The green and pink color was my shirt.  There were MANY mediocre attempts that day of water droplets on many other things,  but this was the winner.

This is the sunset over Rockville, CT last week.  I was walking the dogs after dinner and noticed some dramatic clouds in the sky.  Vance was waiting to go for ice cream with me, but I made him drive to the tower in Rockville for a few pictures before dessert.  Wow!

Sometimes I overlook shots until I look back a few months later.  This was taken in the spring when I was out one night shooting sunset pictures.  The color was gone, but I saw the moon and one twinkling star in the sky.

I calmed myself last week by shooting bees on flowers for over an hour.  I kept only a handful of images.  I think bees are definitely busier than ants, flitting from one flower to the next in seconds.

It was so exciting to capture this picture of a bee in flight last spring!

Taking pictures while kayaking is especially challenging due to the movement of the boat.  Somehow I managed to get this shot of the inside of a yellow pond lily with two teeny flies on the petal! 

On the same kayaking trip,  I spent quite a while trying to capture this fluffy seed drifting on the surface of the water.

Water also opens up the possibility of reflections.  This heron was definitely keeping an eye on me as I glided closer!

I paddled through a sea of lily pads to get to the right side of these lovely lilies to capture their reflection.

Crystal Lake had never looked so beautiful as it did at sunrise this spring morning.  I had to lay down on the dock to get close to the water to get this breathtaking reflection of the sky in the lake.  Look at that water line!

The early morning light makes any scene sooo much better!

I was driving around town with my camera when I got this picture of my favorite barn!  The plants you see in the foreground are the mums they sell every year in the fall.

I felt kinda bad intruding on these newborns in the nest, but they were impossible to resist.

The momma kept a watchful eye on me from afar.

These are the same babies the day before the nest was empty.

Lastly,  this little songbird was chattering very loudly as it perched on my garden fence!

I LOVE photography.

A Big Lesson from a Tiny Thing

Everyone has seen one of these.  

If you've seen one, you've seen thousands.

During my morning walk,  I've been noticing teeny tiny acorns - many of them - on the sidewalk under a lot of the oak trees.

Every day as I walked, I would remember to wear shorts with pockets so I could collect them.  Everyone loves tiny versions of things!  (I plan to make felted acorns with the caps.)

As I continued to collect them, I wanted to know why.

Why are they so little?

After doing some searching online,
I came up with the answer.

Have you ever made a change in your life
and then see something that is a "sign"
that validates your choice or decision? 

It may spur you to continue on the path you've chosen

or just give you a sense of peace
that you are doing the right thing?

That's what these tiny acorns did for me.

I discovered the reason for their size (or lack of size).

According to Dr. Francis Gouin, whose column "The Plant Doctor is In" appears in the Bay Weekly in Annapolis, Maryland,

"Its flowers have produced more acorns than the tree can carry. Thus the tree is thinning its acorn population. Heavy acorn production does not happen often. However, this spring there was a heavy pollen release and ideal conditions for flowers to be pollinated. When the tree produces too many acorns, it thins itself so that the remaining acorns will grow larger. In horticultural terminology it is called pre-drop."

I found this fascinating because over the summer,
I too have put on more weight than my body
is comfortable with.
I have been attempting
to rid myself of the excess weight
that is not good for me.

I wish it was as easy as dropping some premature acorns,

but it needs to be done for my health and happiness.

In about a month and a half,  I have walked and biked
and kept a detailed food log.
I am now feeling much better after dropping 11 pounds.

I have few more to go,
but I feel good about reaching my goal. 

We live in a world of excess.
Our homes are filled with so much stuff
we don't really need anymore.
Our closets are filled with clothes
that are never worn
and things that no longer
have a purpose in our lives.

So in addition to shedding excess body weight,
I've been making many trips
to Goodwill and Big Brothers & Sisters.

And I've been making some easy money
selling things on Craigslist.

This has been the common theme in my life lately.

We are weighed down by so many things.

It feels so good to have less.

But the oak tree knew it all along.