JT

This is a photo of me from the early 1970's.  I was standing in my bedroom which I shared with my two sisters.  I was wearing my signature Lee jeans.  The style wasn't quite as form fitting back then.  Sweater vests were "in".  This was before I wore makeup or took much time styling my hair.  I was holding two things that were important to me at the time:  my cat "Diddles and my Raggedy Ann doll that adorned my bed.

You can't see it in the picture, but to the right against the wall was a portable record player.  By portable, I me it was in a fold-up carrying case that you could take with you to another room. There were no personal devices like we have today to listen to music wherever you go.

So it was in my bedroom that I would play my records that I bought with the limited funds I had.  Most of the time I would buy "singles".  When I went to bed at night, I'd stack up a bunch of singles and they would play one by one as I was drifting off to sleep.  Sometimes the needle would hit a scratch in the surface of the record and it would either skip a part of the song, or worse it would keep repeating until I got up out of bed and moved the needle off the scratch.  That was very annoying.

Sometimes, if I really liked a lot of songs by one artist, I would splurge and buy an entire album.

I had a few of James Taylor's albums.

I have always been the kind of person who likes to spend time alone and contemplate life and all of it's complexities.  I would lay on my bed and listen to his songs over and over.  His songs were soothing to my young soul that felt things deeply and spent many hours trying to make sense of what I knew of life at that time.  He was like therapy for me.

His lyrics spoke to me.  His mellow voice was so easy to listen to and sing to.

Oh, and one other thing - he was cute.

One of my favorite songs of all time is  "You've Got a Friend".

I dug this up from the 1970's....





For our 30th wedding anniversary,  Vance bought tickets to see James Taylor perform at Tanglewood on July 3.  It was a fabulous concert!

I loved every minute of the the concert, which was close to 3 hours long.

  At 66 years old, his voice is just as clear and sweet and soothing as it was 40 years ago.

I bought another James Taylor album yesterday, only this time it was on itunes.

And I'd have to say, if anything, he's gotten even better with age.

#JTlove

Getting to Know You

   Question:  What's the first thing you do when you hear 

                  your son or daughter talk about a possible

                  new relationship?

Question:  What's the first thing you do when you are

                  interested in a relationship with someone new?

The answer to both questions is the same.

Stalk them on Facebook.

Adam told us in April that he was "thinking about" possibly starting a relationship with a girl in Boston that he met through his internship with Intervarsity Christian Fellowship.  I had met her briefly last fall, but I didn't remember her last name - something necessary for FB stalking.

No need to worry, because I found out easily from my daughters who had already stalked Emily!

After a few minutes looking at whatever was "public" on Emily's wall, I think I got a pretty good idea of what she was like.  I learned she comes from a family with 5 kids (3 boys and 2 girls).  Her family loves dogs.  I also saw that she has a really nice smile and uses it frequently.

Well, Adam and Emily are officially dating now.  Emily stayed with us for 5 days last week and we got to know her much better (in real life).

I felt an instant kinship with her when she openly admitted to doing a lot of "online research" on our family members since she met Adam!  Not only did she stalk us on Facebook, but it seemed like she had read almost every blog post ever written!

They seem to get along really well 

and were very comfortable with each other.

She was very easy and fun to have around. 

Adam acted himself and didn't try 

to impress her with his badminton skills!

Sami and Halle were not impressed either.

Emily "friended" me on Facebook, 

so now when we look at each other's pictures 

it can't be called "stalking" anymore!

"That's How the Light Gets In"

On Sunday,  I attended the graduation of the University of Vermont Class of 2014.  It was a perfect Vermont spring day, with bright sunshine and cool air gracing the morning ceremony outside on the UVM green.  My daughter, Kerry, was one of the graduates.

The commencement speaker was Samantha Power, the United States Ambassador to the United Nations.   I have to admit that I didn't have high expectations for her speech.  But I also have to admit that I was captivated by her words and the message she delivered to the graduates.  It was a message that was not only applicable to them, but to each and every one of us.

In her address, she quoted a song by Leonard Cohen:

"There is a crack in everything.  That's how the light gets in."

All weekend long,  I watched Kerry and her friends.  I watched and remembered.

I remembered how much I loved my years in college, graduating from UVM myself back in 1981.  I remembered too well all that I was feeling at my own commencement: excitement, fear, hope, sadness, pride...  I would be starting my first job at the Travelers Insurance Company in Hartford, CT on September 11th.  Life was about to change.  I would leave my family, friends and home for the unknown.  Was I up to the challenge?

Samantha Power also acknowledged "When I sat where you sit, I was convinced everyone else had it all sorted out, and I was the only one who had no idea what would come next...When you get out into the real world, it is easy to believe that you - and only you - are the one who doesn't belong".

"One must never compare the churn you're feeling inside to the calm exteriors of those around you. "  In reality, everyone has these insecurities, but we are all so good at hiding them from others.

"There is a crack in everything.  That's how the light gets in."

Isn't it so true that change and growth most often come from "cracks"?  Ms. Power  suggests "the people who succeed in changing the world are those who simply acknowledge their insecurities and forge ahead".

From our difficult times, we learn empathy for others.

Unless your heart breaks, you will never know love.

In the midst of ugliness, you can always find beauty.

If your universe doesn't collapse, you'll never learn anything about the world.

"Even when you reach the pinnacle of your career, you will know your own weaknesses better than anyone.  You will have a unique insight into all you haven't mastered."

In my 55 years, I've come to know my own weaknesses very well.   In spite of those weaknesses, and maybe because of them too, I've developed many strengths.  I find myself drawn to those who don't paint a perfect portrait of themselves.  The "cracks" are what makes them human.  The "cracks" are what we all have in common.

"I am confident that you will do great things in the years ahead.  But you also have it in your power right now to do good things.  To notice what is going on around you, and to undertake small acts of kindness that will change someone's world."

"Every day you commit even a small act of kindness, you are changing someone's world.  Start there.  But please don't stop there."

"The world is plenty messed up; but you can help change it."

"You have lived in the shadow of the Vermont peaks for four years, and I urge you to make it your task to overcome mountains that others have found too high to scale."

"There is a crack in everything.  That's how the light gets in."

To My Lorelai Gilmore

To My Lorelai Gilmore

A blog post from your daughter- I'm glad you use the same 3 passwords for everything! (: 

Happy Birthday and Happy Mother's Day!! Love, Annie                                                    

P.S. I'm not sure why certain things are highlighted and others are not... or why this title    

won't stay in big lettering...but I can't ask you for help.... so, sorry that this doesn't look too

pretty! I love you!!                                                                                                                 

Back when I was in middle school, my mom and I began watching a show called "Gilmore Girls." I remember that she was sorting laundry in the foyer and had her laptop open on the cabinet so she could watch an episode as she worked, and I ended up staying and watching it with her. The show revolves around a mother and daughter, Lorelai and Rory Gilmore. Lorelai had Rory when she was 16 and raises her on her own, which has given them a very close, fun, "best friends first, mother/daughter second" relationship. My mom and I ended up going back to the beginning of the show and, over the next year or two, watched every single episode of the show's 7 seasons together. 

We laughed "like hyenas" (as my Dad would tell us) at episodes, we cried at episodes, and most importantly, we strengthened and changed our relationship as the episodes went on. Besides the fact that it was something we consistently did together, for me, it was an enormous change in my perception of what a mother/daughter relationship can be. Watching Lorelai and Rory interact on the show made me realize not only that my mom could be my best friend instead of just my mom, but that I wanted to have that kind of relationship with her!

I learned and became comfortable with the fact that my mom could be my friend, too, even though she had the title of "mom." Contrary to my previous beliefs, I could talk to and hang out with my mom like any of my best friends. Furthermore, her being my mom didn't detract from our ability to be friends; actually, it added to it! What other friend would deal with you and all of your absolute worst, uncensored qualities, and still love you unconditionally and forgive you without batting an eye? In addition to giving you life? I think that's a pretty good deal.

It wasn't an immediate change in our relationship after watching "Gilmore Girls," but now I say without hesitation that my mom is one of my best friends. And sometimes I think we've both fallen a bit into the ways of our beloved Lorelai and Rory without meaning to... (or maybe meaning to, a little bit)...

We frequently think that we're hilarious, and will be laughing at something one of us or both of us said much longer than anyone else is (more often than not, we're also the only ones laughing to begin with...).

We've spent many, MANY hours in the car together going on college visits, trips to VT, and back and forth between Rochester and home, and once we get talking, the trip flies by. Sometimes causing a little bit of alarm when we stop talking long enough to realize that we haven't stopped for gas in far too long...

(No worries- we made it to a rest stop in time!)

She's always there to talk to me when I call home from school, whether I'm stressed, excited, or if we haven't talked in a while and need to catch up on all of each other's gossip.

(the screenshot below is from a recent lengthy phone call in my last few weeks of school- we hadn't caught up in 2 or 3 weeks...)

It's no longer embarrassing to color coordinate with her- actually, I kind of enjoy it! 

She's always there to support me and make me feel loved- whether it's emotionally...

or by coming up to Eastman to see me perform in various concerts and recitals...

or physically, i.e. my senior year poison ivy infection, or after I got my wisdom teeth removed, was slightly loopy on medication, and needed company...

My mom is one of a kind. And even if I get grumpy with her and need reminding...

I know that at the end of the day, she will always be there. To hang out and watch an episode of Gilmore Girls with in her hotel room in Rochester...

To have consistently blurry pictures with on the few occasions she's not behind the camera, because that means my dad is the one behind the camera...

                         

And to lean on when times are rough, and I just need my mom. 

(pictured above- a much needed Parents' Weekend of Freshman year at Eastman)

In my 16th Birthday card, my mom wrote, "You are my Rory." It meant more to me than she knew, and more than any other elaborate things she could have written.

Well, Mom- you are and always will be my Lorelai Gilmore.