For the first 50 years of my life, my perfectionist self mistakenly believed it was all about knowing more, getting it right, planning, attempting to prevent bad things from happening, and keeping all of my chicks in a row. It took me this long to discover that the JOURNEY is all that matters. This quote from Gilda Radner sums it all up:

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
"


Monday, May 12, 2014

To My Lorelai Gilmore

To My Lorelai Gilmore

A blog post from your daughter- I'm glad you use the same 3 passwords for everything! (: 
Happy Birthday and Happy Mother's Day!! Love, Annie                                                    
P.S. I'm not sure why certain things are highlighted and others are not... or why this title    
won't stay in big lettering...but I can't ask you for help.... so, sorry that this doesn't look too
pretty! I love you!!                                                                                                                 


Back when I was in middle school, my mom and I began watching a show called "Gilmore Girls." I remember that she was sorting laundry in the foyer and had her laptop open on the cabinet so she could watch an episode as she worked, and I ended up staying and watching it with her. The show revolves around a mother and daughter, Lorelai and Rory Gilmore. Lorelai had Rory when she was 16 and raises her on her own, which has given them a very close, fun, "best friends first, mother/daughter second" relationship. My mom and I ended up going back to the beginning of the show and, over the next year or two, watched every single episode of the show's 7 seasons together. 


We laughed "like hyenas" (as my Dad would tell us) at episodes, we cried at episodes, and most importantly, we strengthened and changed our relationship as the episodes went on. Besides the fact that it was something we consistently did together, for me, it was an enormous change in my perception of what a mother/daughter relationship can be. Watching Lorelai and Rory interact on the show made me realize not only that my mom could be my best friend instead of just my mom, but that I wanted to have that kind of relationship with her!


I learned and became comfortable with the fact that my mom could be my friend, too, even though she had the title of "mom." Contrary to my previous beliefs, I could talk to and hang out with my mom like any of my best friends. Furthermore, her being my mom didn't detract from our ability to be friends; actually, it added to it! What other friend would deal with you and all of your absolute worst, uncensored qualities, and still love you unconditionally and forgive you without batting an eye? In addition to giving you life? I think that's a pretty good deal.


It wasn't an immediate change in our relationship after watching "Gilmore Girls," but now I say without hesitation that my mom is one of my best friends. And sometimes I think we've both fallen a bit into the ways of our beloved Lorelai and Rory without meaning to... (or maybe meaning to, a little bit)...

We frequently think that we're hilarious, and will be laughing at something one of us or both of us said much longer than anyone else is (more often than not, we're also the only ones laughing to begin with...).


We've spent many, MANY hours in the car together going on college visits, trips to VT, and back and forth between Rochester and home, and once we get talking, the trip flies by. Sometimes causing a little bit of alarm when we stop talking long enough to realize that we haven't stopped for gas in far too long...


(No worries- we made it to a rest stop in time!)

She's always there to talk to me when I call home from school, whether I'm stressed, excited, or if we haven't talked in a while and need to catch up on all of each other's gossip.


(the screenshot below is from a recent lengthy phone call in my last few weeks of school- we hadn't caught up in 2 or 3 weeks...)

It's no longer embarrassing to color coordinate with her- actually, I kind of enjoy it! 



She's always there to support me and make me feel loved- whether it's emotionally...


or by coming up to Eastman to see me perform in various concerts and recitals...


or physically, i.e. my senior year poison ivy infection, or after I got my wisdom teeth removed, was slightly loopy on medication, and needed company...


My mom is one of a kind. And even if I get grumpy with her and need reminding...


I know that at the end of the day, she will always be there. To hang out and watch an episode of Gilmore Girls with in her hotel room in Rochester...


To have consistently blurry pictures with on the few occasions she's not behind the camera, because that means my dad is the one behind the camera...

And to lean on when times are rough, and I just need my mom. 

(pictured above- a much needed Parents' Weekend of Freshman year at Eastman)


In my 16th Birthday card, my mom wrote, "You are my Rory." It meant more to me than she knew, and more than any other elaborate things she could have written.

Well, Mom- you are and always will be my Lorelai Gilmore. 










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