For the first 50 years of my life, my perfectionist self mistakenly believed it was all about knowing more, getting it right, planning, attempting to prevent bad things from happening, and keeping all of my chicks in a row. It took me this long to discover that the JOURNEY is all that matters. This quote from Gilda Radner sums it all up:

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
"


Monday, February 3, 2014

May the Odds Be Forever in Our Favor!

Much of my time recently has been devoted to listening to TED talks online. TED (Techonology, Entertainment, Design) is a nonprofit devoted to "ideas worth spreading".  You can find over 1500 talks online about sooo many topics that are extremely interesting and informative.

Last week I listened to a TED talk about time perception.  Why does time sometimes go by fast and other times go by very slowly?

To summarize,  scientists believe we perceive time more slowly when we are doing new, unusual, or dynamic things.  The theory is that our perception of time slows when our brain is recording new memories and data.  That is why a year in our childhood seemed to last forever whereas a year in adulthood goes by really fast.  To a child, just about everything is a new experience.  As adults,  many of our experiences are repeats, things we've done many times before.

This all made sense to me initially, but now I think theory has a flaw.

After listening to this talk on time perception,  I took a trip to Rochester to pick up my daughter, Annie,  for a weekend at home for her birthday.  On my way there, I was alone.  I sang to songs on the radio, ate snacks, stopped multiple times for bathroom breaks.  The 5 hour trip seemed like 10 hours!  The monotany of that long, straight, flat road through New York state can put anyone to sleep!

On the way home, however, my daughter was with me.  We started talking as we pulled onto the highway.  We hadn't talked much in 3 weeks and it seemed like a lot had happened.  We went from one topic to another, talking about the present, past and future.  It was quite entertaining!

Time passed so fast! (This is in opposition to the theory that new things made time pass more slowly!)

I even said to Annie how fast the trip goes by when you have someone to talk to!  
And she replied that we hadn't even stopped to go to the bathroom!

This made me realize something else.  WE HADN'T STOPPED FOR GAS EITHER!
I quickly noticed the gas warning light was on, but how long had it been on for?

Luckily (I think), our car provides us with information on gas mileage and the distance to empty.



I looked at the dashboard and saw the distance until empty was 10 miles.
Then I looked below and saw the distance to the next rest area was 9.9 miles.
Shit!

I tried to conserve gas by coasting on downhills and kept driving, hoping the gas information was wrong.


Even though we were a little nervous, I have to admit living on the edge was exciting!
We cheered when the display showed 
the distance to empty was 9 miles and the rest area was only 7.7 miles.


When the gap widened to  3.1 miles,  I began to feel the odds were in our favor!


Finally, the sign for the rest area affirmed that it was only a mile away.
Even if we did run out of gas now,  we could easily walk a gallon
of gas back to the car.


 We were never so happy to see a gas station!  
As I was filling the gas tank, my adrenaline was pumping too.


This little adventure really made our trip home so much fun!
It's something we didn't plan
and it's something we'll never forget!
 And hopefully never repeat!

But I have to dispute the time perception theory.
My perception of time slowed with a boring, monotonous drive
and sped up tremendously with a dynamic conversation with my daughter. 

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Annie is Nineteen!

My daughter, Kerry, posted an article to my Facebook wall the other day:  
"The Achiever, the Peacemaker, and the Life of the Party: How Birth Order Affects Personality"


"If you're the baby, your parents are already confident in their role as caregiver, and therefore are more lenient and don't necessarily pay attention to your every move or milestone as they did with your older siblings.  Thus, you've learned how to seduce the crowd with charm and likability.  It probably won't surprise you to note that youngest children often find careers in the entertainment business as actors, comedians, writers, directors and so on. They also make good doctors and teachers."

Annie is the baby of our family.
She turns 19 years old today!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANNIE!

From a very young age, Annie was able to  "seduce the crowd with charm and likability".
She was outgoing and unafraid to try new things - a confident kid.
And she gravitated toward friends who were similar to her in personality.
When Annie had friends over, they tended to be a group that was very active, loud and giggly.

Annie was always very expressive, and was never camera-shy.
Just the opposite, in fact.
She plays to the camera!





































Happy birthday, Annie!
Don't ever change!
We love you! 

























Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Outwit, Outsmart, Outlast (Part 2)

It was about 2 years ago that I introduced you to the newest member of our family, Maddie.

She was an adorable, spunky and fearless kitten.  She loved to surprise family members by springing out of hiding places as we walked by.  While this behavior was funny to the human members of the family,  the feline members of the family were not amused.

At 2 years old,  Maddie has calmed down somewhat, but she is not a cat that likes to sit around and do nothing.   She still is very active and very curious.  She still likes the element of surprise too.  She makes me laugh every day!



The grande dame of our house is Momo, a beautiful 10 year old long haired calico.  Momo has always been somewhat of a recluse.  She rarely comes out of hiding when strangers are in the house.  She doesn't go outside much anymore, content to spend her days eating and sleeping.  She loves to sit in my lap!  But there is one member of the family that Momo cannot tolerate - and that's Maddie!  If Maddie comes anywhere in her vicinity, Momo growls to ward her off.  Cat fights are not uncommon, usually beginning with Maddie chasing Momo at high speed around the house.

Last summer, bigger problems began.

Momo started peeing and pooping around the house.  Not all the time, but pretty often.  Her favorite spot was in one of the dog beds in our bedroom.  After throwing away 3 dog beds, we've improvised and we now "make" our own dog beds out of foam covered with a piece of vinyl and then a soft layer on top.


If Momo chooses to pee, we can just replace the top two layers.


I've spoken to our vet and we believe Momo is trying to let us know that she is unhappy and stressed.  Most likely due to the presence of Maddie.   The vet recommended a product called Feliway.


We have 3 of these Feliway diffusers plugged in outlets around the house.  Feliway is a synthetic copy of feline pheromones used by cats to mark their territory as safe and secure.

The vet also recommended a calming treat to give to each cat every day.


And I bought a special cat litter containing a scent to attract cats to use the litter box.  
And I make sure I clean them every day too.


The Feliway has greatly lessened the fighting between the two cats.  I can tell when the diffusers have run out because the fighting starts up again.

Even though Momo has been much better, she still pees once in a while.  So I read a book on cat psychology recently to see if there is anything else I could do to make Momo's life less stressful.

I read that expanding the cat's territory vertically often helps cats get along.  So I have done that.


These shelves in the family room are for cats!


Maddie has begun to lay up there!


I also bought two cat beds that are held up by suction cups to window.   I put a fleece blanket on each one and Momo really likes these!  One is in the family room on the french door.


The other is on the window near our dining room table.  


Momo even sleeps there at night, now.  I think she feels safe from any surprise attacks from Maddie when she's up high.

Hopefully, with a little more time and patience, Momo will become less fearful and less stressed.
Hopefully she will eventually use her litter box 100% of the time.
Hopefully Momo will stop growling at Maddie.
Hopefully Maddie will learn to leave Momo alone.

Hopefully.