Lessons from My Father

It has been almost two years since my father had a stroke which led to his passing in early April of 2009 at the age of 81.  I still think of him often, sometimes with a smile and sometimes with tears.   He was the single most influential person in my life, and that continues to be true even now.  I admired almost everything about him.  They say that actions speak louder than words.  My dad's actions were his teachings.

 

 

He grew up on a farm in West Rutland, Vermont.  There was a lot to be done and each of the kids did their share.  My father had a tremendous work ethic.

One of the many jobs my father held was a bartender, although he rarely drank much himself.

 (That is my mother with the dark hair.)

If you are able to  do the job yourself, do it. Don't waste money by paying someone to do it for you.

I can probably count on only one hand the number of times my dad hired someone to do work for our family.  If something was broken, he fixed it.  If he didn't know how, he figured it out.  He was up for any challenge, big or small.  His creativity and logic combined to allow him to be successful in just about anything he attempted.   I remember how proud he was when he came home from work one day to find that I had taken my 10 speed bike apart, cleaned it, and put was putting it back together.  He taught us that you can't be afraid to try!

 My dad and my sister, Lori, standing on the new deck he built on her
home in Alaska the summer before he died.

 Here he is installing a new dishwasher for us when he was 76 years old.

He cut down trees and build a multi-level deck and screened-in porch on our house.

 Rain did not stop him.  Vance was so happy to be working with him out in the rain!

            



Look for the good in everything and everyone.  


He would always say "That's the beauty part of it!"  He was an optimist through and through.  He saw the beauty in all people and things.

 

                      Don't forget what it's like to be a kid. 

Act silly sometimes and don't worry about

what people will think.

 

 Stay active and be a big part of your kids lives

and your grandkids lives. You will be remembered more for what you do WITH them than any material gift you give to them.

 

 Never, ever give up without giving your best effort, no matter what life throws at you!

 

After his stroke, Dad never gave up hope that he would regain his ability to walk.

  

And he never lost his sense of humor (You wouldn't believe how often he stuck his tongue out for pictures throughout his life!)

 He told us his rehabilitation was the hardest thing he had ever faced...and he gave it 110%!

 Here he was released from the hospital to the rehab center.  He was happy to be able to ride

 in his red pick-up truck again.  It was his pride and joy!

                     And last but not least, keep smiling!

My brother and my father really liked the speech therapist and thought she was cute.  My dad gave me an extra big smile for this picture!

After watching him take care of my mother when she was at the end of her life, we learned from him the importance of being there for your loved ones, no matter how inconvenient or difficult it may be.  Cherish all the time you have and don't let them down when the going gets tough.  I am proud to say that my dad was alone for only a couple of days in the 2 months he was in the hospital and rehab in Florida.  My brother and sister and I were with him from morning until night.  We wouldn't have had it any other way.

Surprises for Sam

"Perception is merely reality filtered through the prism of your soul."

               ~Christopher A. Ray

There were four ways to perceive the events of the day.

Your girlfriend is coming to your house to have dinner with your family and closest friends.

The girlfriend of your son/brother is coming to your house to have dinner with your and your son's/brother's closest friends.

Your are going to your boyfriend's house to spend time with his family and closest friends.

Your friend has invited you to meet and have dinner with his girlfriend.



It was an important day for everyone involved for a myriad of reasons.
But nonetheless,  everyone wanted it to go well.

While Adam went to the train station in Hartford to pick up Sam, we were busy cooking and cleaning and preparing for her visit.  We knew Sam was on the quiet side, and we wanted to think of a way to "break the ice".  Being the creative, funny family that we are, we came up with a few ideas that we hoped would let Sam know that this day was not taken lightly by our family and make her feel welcome!

We were not disappointed.  When Adam and Sam arrived they were laughing after spotting a few of Annie and Kerry's home-made signs along their route. 

Sam's mom sent along a huge box of beautiful Godiva chocolates.  Yum!

As Vance and I were in the kitchen preparing for dinner,  I heard Sam scream and looked over to see what had happened.  She had discovered our other surprise, meant for later that evening.  Kerry and Annie had printed 60 little pictures of Sam's face and put them all over the first floor of the house.  We had planned a little scavenger hunt for our guests.  Sam had picked up a photo book from our Lake George vacation this year and was surprised to see her face taped to the front cover!

Once we told them the plan and they knew about the hidden pictures, they were suddenly able to spot quite a few more in plain view and walked around the house searching for even more.  Kerry and Annie had placed them in quite a few funny and interesting spots!

With a while to go before dinner, they took the camera and headed out to retrieve the signs and to see a little bit of our town.

This is the tree in the middle of the parking lot at Ellington High School.  Beautiful picture!

Adam's friends arrived and we had a nice pasta dinner.  There was a lot of joking around and laughter. Since everyone had been friends on Facebook for quite a while,  I think they felt they knew each other already.  That's the funny thing about the internet and social networking.  

                                                 Jojo and Kerry

                             Mr. Wiggles pretends to be a dinner guest.

                            Parker, Jordan, and Andrew

After dinner, the guests participated in the Sam Lee scavenger hunt.  The prize - a $25 itunes gift card.

 Jordan and Lucas tied, but Lucas was the winner in a 2 minute overtime round!

Caramel apples for dessert!

                                 Maggie and Taylor

There were pictures with Sam to finish off the evening!

  

At the end of the evening, the hosts of any get-together look back and hope that everyone had fun and enjoyed themselves.  Tonight, though, everyone was here because they care so much about Adam. We wanted to get to know Sam because he cares so much about her. 

But getting to know someone is a process - it doesn't happen over one dinner.  It is an accumulation of "perceptions" that happen over time.  I believe tonight was only the beginning...