For the first 50 years of my life, my perfectionist self mistakenly believed it was all about knowing more, getting it right, planning, attempting to prevent bad things from happening, and keeping all of my chicks in a row. It took me this long to discover that the JOURNEY is all that matters. This quote from Gilda Radner sums it all up:

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
"


Monday, January 13, 2014

My Kids are Crabs

I am writing this post after having my kids home for almost a month for winter break.
By the end of this week, they will all be gone once again.

Whenever they come home after being away for a while,  I am amazed at how much time they spend in the house.

Kerry has "her spot" on the couch in the family room where she can be found at least 75% of her waking hours.   

Annie spent most of her break reading books - I believe the final count was nine books.  At first she would read in the family room where everyone hangs out.  Then I noticed she was isolating herself in the basement for large chunks of time.  

Adam's spot is at the kitchen table.  He will do work, read, eat.  He also spends lots of time in his room, but tends to fall asleep when he does.  

Don't get me wrong.  They have friends.  Often, their friends come over to our house to spend time.  Sometimes they go out to meet friends for breakfast.  I can entice the girls  to go to the mall with me sometimes if they need to buy something.  But they are not the type of kids that come home and are on the go all the time.  They're happy to just chill.  Can you believe that we have watched 4 seasons of Breaking Bad together since Christmas?

I used to think our town was just too boring for them.  There really isn't much happening here -   but that's not the reason either.   I think they just need to recharge.   They are introverts, after all, just like me.   I like being with people, but not all the time.  I need my alone time.   It wears me out to rush from one activity to the next.   I love to read, think, explore ideas and be creative - and it's often easier to do these things by myself.  In my own little world.  In my own little shell.

So I totally understand that they need to be more like hermits when they come home.

The nuns in school used to tell my parents that I needed to come out of my shell.  While I agree it's good to get out of your comfort zone, I see no problem having a nice cozy shell handy to retreat into when you need to!









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