For the first 50 years of my life, my perfectionist self mistakenly believed it was all about knowing more, getting it right, planning, attempting to prevent bad things from happening, and keeping all of my chicks in a row. It took me this long to discover that the JOURNEY is all that matters. This quote from Gilda Radner sums it all up:

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
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Thursday, September 15, 2016

Suicide Prevention Awareness Month - A Personal Story

I'm writing this in support of Suicide Prevention Awareness Month.

It was almost exactly one year ago that my daughter, Annie, was diagnosed with depression.  (Please know that I don't write about anything on this blog concerning my kids without their approval.)  

Yesterday, Annie wrote her first post on her new blog where she revealed 
that she has been struggling with depression.  Here is a link to Annie's blog 


Annie watches the sunrise on Lake George while writing in her journal.

Let me backtrack a little.  Last summer, my daughter, Annie, got her own apartment in Rochester where she goes to school at the Eastman School of Music.  I helped her move in and set up her apartment.  I was with her when she adopted her first cat to keep her company.  She had a job at a coffee shop a few blocks away where she loved working.  It seemed like she was ready for a great summer!

Then life threw her a curveball.

Despite heroic efforts on Annie's part,  her cat died in early July.  She started complaining of fatigue.  I knew she was grieving her cat and thought she just needed time.   She seemed happy, although maybe a little homesick.  She loved her job, but all of her plans of things she wanted to do in Rochester over the summer never materialized.  There were no idyllic days on the beaches of Lake Ontario, no time spent with friends. She wasn't eating well. She stopped exercising. And she was sleeping way too much.

This was the beginning of Annie's struggle with Major Depressive Disorder.  

This past year has been so full of many emotions for us as parents:  uncertainty, frustration, compassion, sorrow, heartache, hope, thankfulness, admiration, pride, and intense love.  Annie has had to weather many storms and she is still afloat, headed toward calmer seas.

As Annie mentioned in her blog post,  there is still a stigma attached to mental illness.  One serious effect of the stigma around mental disorders is that two-thirds of affected people don't seek help, say the National Alliance on Mental Illness.  The main reasons people give to explain why include fear of disclosure, rejection, and discrimination. Some people may assume someone with depression is unstable, lazy, untrustworthy, unintelligent, or incapable.


According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 46 percent of Americans will experience a diagnosable mental illness in their lifetime.  There's a good chance that you or someone you love will be affected.  So let's try to get rid of that stigma. 

Just treat people with kindness and respect, compassion and understanding.


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Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Summer 2016 - The Others

My last post highlighted my top 3 favorite times of the summer,
 but there are so many others that are worth mentioning too.  

1.  Max Restaurants "Chef to Farm" Dinner at Graywall Farms





For Father's Day,  the kids got Vance tickets to "Blues, Brews, and Barbeques", 
a dinner catered by the Max Restaurant Group at Graywall Farms in Lebanon, CT.  
It was a fabulous evening that included a reception with appetizers and beer, 
a tour of the farm, dinner, and a demonstration of how the cows are milked.














2.  Cookout at Kerry's


Kerry and Mel invited family and friend (Lucas) to a cookout on their deck.  
The food was good, and so was the company!  








3.  Alice's 85th Birthday

We celebrated my mother-in-law's 85th birthday with close family friends.








4.  We celebrated Harry Potter's birthday with a cake competition!






5.  We moved Adam into a new apartment in NYC.

Adam is still living in Harlem, but in a larger, very nice apartment 
with his new roommate, Shreyas.









6.  We moved Annie into a new apartment in Rochester.

Annie is now living in a huge 2 bedroom apartment with her roommate, Sabrina.









I've never seen such tall doors!









7.  Vance and I went to a James Taylor concert at Fenway Park!



8.  We did some painting.


Kerry repainted a flamingo lawn ornament left by the prior owner of her condo.


I repainted an old Cosco step stool that I found for free on the side of the road. 
It is now in Annie's apartment.



9.  We played pickleball.

It was the summer of pickleball.   I play a few times a week at the YMCA and I love it.  So I introduced it to family and friends, and they loved it too. 



10.  We had fun.



Taking the doggies for ice cream at Kloter's.



Pillow supplies at JoAnn's Fabrics.


Breakfast with a special friend!


Any time spent with Momo is special!


UConn Dairy Bar.


Time with the doggies! 



Kerry officially became a UConn APRN student and bought
everyone in the family something from the coop (for good luck).


A timed pepper-grinding contest.


Kerry loved the pillow I knitted for her!


End of the summer family breakfast at Kerry's (after she 
got off the night shift at the hospital).