For the first 50 years of my life, my perfectionist self mistakenly believed it was all about knowing more, getting it right, planning, attempting to prevent bad things from happening, and keeping all of my chicks in a row. It took me this long to discover that the JOURNEY is all that matters. This quote from Gilda Radner sums it all up:

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
"


Thursday, July 7, 2011

It's Kerry's Birthday Today!!!




It was 19 years ago today that we were blessed with a new addition to our family!



She was an 8lb, 11oz bundle of joy! 

And we named her Kerry!


She was the most beautiful little baby with pudgy cheeks...


And great big eyes!

Adam loved her and the feeling was mutual!


I had lots of fun dressing her up in cute little girl clothes!

 
She made the perfect "Piglet" when she was two years old...

 

And I will never forget my adorable little 'Minga" (Gumby's sister) when she was 3!


Kerry loved her blankie and she loved the Disney princesses!

She also loved cats!  Here she was "helping Molly take a nap".




 Beauty & the Beast was her favorite movie when she was 3.


 As she grew, she left her fairy tale princesses behind in favor of fishing.  She LOVED to fish!



 And she always had her Dad wrapped around her little finger!

 And she ALWAYS had a soft spot for cats!


And she ALWAYS had very large eyes!



Kerry was such a sweet little girl.



 She loved to ham it up for the camera and make us laugh!




 That is our neighbor Jon in the garbage can!


    Kerry is the one in the center (pictured with Annie and Jon)



 When Tigger (Mr. Wiggles) came into our family,  Kerry had met her soul-mate.




Another one of Kerry's loves is sports.  She loves to compete in just about anything!

But softball turned out to be her favorite of all!







 Over the years, it has been her close friends and family who matter the most...










 ...and MR. WIGGLES!


 Happy Birthday, Kerry!  You are such a joy and such a pain in the ass! 
WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Embracing Me

A few weeks ago, I spent a wonderful day with my friend Mel.  We had lots of fun taking pictures of each other in Hartford.  When we got back to the house, I uploaded over 250 pictures to the computer and we looked at them.

Mel is a beautiful, young girl with barely a flaw on her skin.  She looked fabulous in every shot.

When we got to the pictures she took of me,  all I could see were the wrinkles, and I said so.

Mel looked at me and basically told me the pictures look like me.
She wasn't being mean in any way.
She loved the pictures she took of me.
They were "me".

 Don't we all tend to have a much younger mental picture of ourselves?


I don't feel inside very much different than I felt back in college.  


 I feel young.  I don't feel like I am 52 at all. 


My hair may be different now, but IN MY MIND I don't look any different than I did over 30 years ago.


 Mel's comment really made me think.

I DO have wrinkles.  Plenty of them. 

I have crows feet around my eyes when I smile.  Maybe even when I'm not smiling!
The wrinkles under my eyes are all connected now, vertically and horizontally.
I have permanent dark circles around my eyes.  And a blue vein on the side of my head.


My neck isn't as tight as it used to be.  Jowls are beginning to form.


And my neck has creases and lines in it too.

These are the things that I see when I look at myself in pictures.
What Mel made me understand that day was so very important, though.

These are not things like zits that go away and do not define you.

I will never again be without wrinkles, or circles, or saggy skin.

This is who I am now.  They are permanent fixtures on my body.

I may always feel young on the inside, but this body of mine will never get younger.

So from this day forward, I will try not to focus on the things I cannot change.

I will try to look at the bigger picture.

 

I will grow old with grace.  I will embrace me, as I am ... as I will be.

I spent some time with a 98 year old woman last week.  Violet Cheesman.  She was the essence of how I would want to be if I am lucky enough to reach that age.  She was so young on the inside that you barely noticed her wrinkled up face or weary eyes.  She was interested in everyone and everything.  She didn't sit back and expect others to do things for her.  If she could do it herself, she did it.  That's how I want to be.

That is my plan.