For the first 50 years of my life, my perfectionist self mistakenly believed it was all about knowing more, getting it right, planning, attempting to prevent bad things from happening, and keeping all of my chicks in a row. It took me this long to discover that the JOURNEY is all that matters. This quote from Gilda Radner sums it all up:

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
"


Sunday, May 20, 2012

Roman Cats

During my recent visit to Rome, there was one place that I wanted to visit above all others.

Torre Argentina Cat Sanctuary    (click to go to website)

Torre Argentina is the site of ancient ruins where Julius Caesar was killed.
It is also home to hundreds of cats.
And I love cats.

 To enter, you must go down a flight of stairs to an area under the busy road.
We were greeted by this little guy...


but as we looked around, we saw plenty more cats, basking in the sun!
Some looked like cats we see in America,
 but others had a very different look...

When we walked inside, we were welcomed warmly by one of the volunteers who help run the sanctuary and encouraged to look around.

The cats in this section are free to come and go, but prefer interaction with humans.  The skinny cat on the right is about 20 years old.  He is losing his fur and not very pretty, but he would reach out a paw to elicit a head rub!  One of the ladies that volunteers here brings him home-made meals to encourage him to eat more!

Torre Argentina is a no-kill shelter.  Unlike America, in August of 1991, Italy passed a law regarding stray cats saying that, “it is forbidden for anyone to mistreat stray cats.” The law also provided provisions for a No Kill policy stating, “stray cats can be put to sleep only if severely ill or incurable.”

In ancient times,  Romans valued cats for their ability to control rodents in the temples.  There are estimated to be 300,000 feral cats in Rome living in over 2000 colonies. They continue to do the same job today.

There is another room in the shelter for those cats that cannot roam freely due to illness or injuries.
  It is here that most of the visitors stayed.
Many of the cats enjoyed the human touch.
This cat is blind.  It jumped into the lap of a girl also visiting from the United States.  We were told that many kittens are born blind when the mother carries the herpes virus.




In Rome, when litters of kittens are born, they are often thrown into dumpsters or put in plastic bags and thrown into the river.  Young kittens brought to Torre Argentina are fostered outside of the shelter due  to the risk of them catching something at the shelter.  Then they are either adopted or brought to the shelter to live.

Shelters in Italy are NOT funded by the government, so they must rely on donations.  This shelters had a gift shop with t-shirts and lots of over-priced cat trinkets, but nearly everyone who was visiting the day I was there bought something before they left, knowing it would benefit the cats.

The money is used for vet bills for sick cats, but also for sterilization of the cats.  In an effort to reduce the growth of the cat population, they use TNR (Trap, Neuter, Return) where cats are trapped, sterilized, and returned to their colonies.

Outside the sanctuary, in the archeological site when Caesar was murdered, lives a colony of cats.
When walking by on the street, it is not immediately evident that so many cats live here.


But as you stand and look more closely,  it's like reading a Waldo book.
Find the cats!
 There are at least 6 cats in the picture above.

Before I left, I made a donation.  I had intended to buy myself a pair of Italian leather shoes for my birthday.  After witnessing the loving care of the volunteers and all the good they do, I decided I didn't need shoes after all.

If you are a cat lover and are interested in learning more and watching some fun videos, please continue.  I especially love the last one about Kenneth and Penelope!




Saturday, May 19, 2012

The Plane Stayed Up By Itself

Even though I had let them choose their own socks since babyhood, I was only beginning to learn to trust their adult judgment.. . . I had a sensation very much like the moment in an airplane when you realize that even if you stop holding the plane up by gripping the arms of your seat until your knuckles show white, the plane will stay up by itself. . .
                   ~ Anonymous Parent of Adult Children


Vance and I have spent the past week in Rome.  
My son, Adam, has been studying there this semester.

We brought him to JFK on Valentines Day.
He's been on his own since that day.
On his own in a country very different from our own.
On his own is a city of over 3 million people.
On his own.  Trying to survive the best he can.

We knew it hasn't been easy for Adam.
We were anxious to see him - to make sure he is ok,
to get a glimpse of this life he has made for himself,
and hopefully ease his burdens a little for a short time.
The road to adulthood is different for everyone.
I firmly believe it's impossible to become an adult
                    without hardship.
Hardship has many faces.

Frustration.
Loneliness.
Fear.
Uncertainty.
Separation.

I also believe that you cannot reach adulthood 
                   without accomplishment
and pride in overcoming hardship.

Over the past few month, we've witnessed Adam
travel his road to adulthood.  And we are so proud!

It was a special week for us as parents:
spending this time with Adam,
relying on him to help us,
feeling his love for us on an adult level.



Yet hopefully, at the same time, 
taking some of the burdens of adulthood
off his shoulders for a little while.





Being with my parents, even later in life,
always made me feel safe. 
One day,  Adam came back to our hotel room and
fell asleep on the bed. 


Maybe I was imagining it, but I couldn't help but
think he was feeling safe too.
 
And as I sat in the chair and watched him napping,
I couldn't help but see 
my little boy 
again.




Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Master Bath Renovation

Our master bath renovation is just about complete, and we are extremely happy with our new space! Built in the the 1980's, the master bath was very outdated and cluttered.  There was an old fiberglass shower stall with glass doors on a metal track.  A formica cabinet with a wall mirror and strip lights on the top.  Tile floor with dirty grout.  I had no desire to even clean it anymore!



We now have a 48" floating vanity made by Nutmeg Stairs and Cabinets.  The vanity top is quartz with an undermount sink by Ronbow.


I chose simple chrome drawer pulls on the cabinet.  The middle drawer is home to the garbage can so I don't have  to have one cluttering the floor.  There is an electrical outlet inside one of the drawers so we can keep the hair dryer plugged in, use it, and put it away.

And a Grohe faucet with soap dispenser.  The tile on the wall behind the sink is from Porcelanosa.




The medicine cabinet (Century) over the sink is 6 inches deep providing more storage room.
 There is a mirror on the inside of the medicine cabinet door, which also opens to almost 180 degrees.


 There is a double outlet inside the medicine cabinet so we can keep our electric toothbrushes charging out of sight! And the mirror has a heater so it will not fog up during those long, hot showers.


I love my make-up mirror with 5x magnification on one side.

Another BEFORE picture:


 We had a towel bar on the wall - the towels were never hanging straight, which bothered me!

The heater extended behind the toilet, which collected all kinds of dust and made it hard to clean.

There was a window shade over the window that collected hair spray and dust.


We have removed the heater from behind the toilet so we could have a beautiful skirted Toto one-piece toilet.

Instead of a towel bar, we now use two modern towel hooks (much neater and easier).
Spare towels are stored above the toilet on a modern train rack from Restoration Hardware.
The window no longer has a shade - nobody can see inside anyways! The white window trim was removed and the window was encased in tile instead.




BEFORE: The area behind the door housed a corner hamper for dirty clothes.  We could never open the door all the way because of the cramped space and the hamper wasn't big enough  - it was always overflowing onto the floor.


Now, there is no more hamper.  Just a stainless steel door in the wall.


On the other side of the wall is a closet with two large laundry bins!  (My idea!)


BEFORE: Molded fiberglass shower stall with sliding glass doors.



After removing the fiberglass enclosure, we were able to make the shower larger because there was empty space on one side of the enclosure.  We replaced it with a tiled shower with a white Synmar base.  There will be a frameless glass door in the opening - we are waiting for it to be made.

The tile is Shine Dark from Porcelanosa.  It is a mixture of browns and greys.


There is an accent strip of greys, whites and browns to break up the large tiles.


The accent tile is repeated in the cutout where the soap and shampoo are stored. (The tile looks more brown in this picture, but it is really mainly grey)


Part of the shower is behind a partial wall for privacy.  The water control was moved from under the shower head to the side wall so we don't have to get wet when we reach in to turn on the shower.  There are also two hooks on the side wall for washcloths.


A small piece of granite was installed in the corner so there is something to put my foot on when shaving my legs!

The floor tile is a matte gray - very plain so as not to take away from the beauty of the wall tile.
The white baseboard trim was replaced by a tile trim.


Instead of a cloth bath mat, I chose a mat made of wood (teak or bamboo) which stays on the floor all the time - no bath mat to hang to dry.


I am sooo happy with my new bathroom.  John Shea of JD Shea Home Improvements did all of the work, including the fantastic tile work.  The electrical was done by Tim Sawtelle of Constant  Power.
The bathroom sinks, medicine cabinets, toilets, faucets, and tub were purchased at Modern Plumbing in Newington.


The main bath is completed with the installation of the glass shower enclosure from CT Bath and Shower in West Hartford.