In the book, The Introvert Advantage, Marti Olsen Laney explains the differences between introverts and extroverts. Her research is valuable because it helps us to understand each other and lifts the shame of being an introvert.
Extroverts are energized by the external world - by activities, people, places, and things. They are like solar panels. Solar panels need the sun to recharge, just as extroverts refuel by being out and about with many people, activities, and stimulation.
Introverts draw energy from their internal world of ideas, emotions, and impressions. They are like a rechargeable battery. They need to stop expending energy and rest in order to recharge. A less stimulating environment restores their energy.
Their brains are different.
It cannot be changed.
But we can learn to work with it.
Extroverts like to experience a lot.
Introverts like to know a lot about what they experience.
Extroverts like breadth - lots of friends, experiences, knowing a little bit about everything. Life is about collecting experiences. At a party, an extrovert will flit around and catch highlights from each conversation, not wanting to miss out on anything.
Introverts like depth. They will limit their experiences but feel each of them deeply. They have fewer friends but more intimacy. Their mind absorbs information, reflects on it, expands it, mulls it over. At a party, an introvert does not enjoy idle chit-chat. They are more content to be in a deep, meaningful conversation with one or two people.
Extroverts think and talk all at the same time. It's effortless to them. In fact, things become clearer as they speak out loud.
Introverts, on the other hand, need time to think and don't speak with spontaneity unless it's a familiar subject. They don't talk for talk's sake. They need to formulate their thoughts before they speak.
There is actually a gene (D4DR gene), or the "novelty seeking gene" that has been studied extensively. This gene affects the neurotransmitter dopamine, which controls excitement levels and motivation.
Those with a long D4DR genes are less sensitive to dopamine, therefore needing to experience more of life's thrills to produce higher levels of dopamine in order to feel happy. They can't stand repetitive experiences or routine work. They can be impulsive and temperamental. They are fast talkers and persuaders. They are willing to take risks to gain rewards.
Those with short D4DR genes are more sensitive to dopamine. They receive enough dopamine in quiet activities that they don't need as much "buzz" in their lives to feel happy. They feel more discomfort than enjoyment from thrill seeking or risk taking. Orderly and cautious, they enjoy the comfort of routine and the familiar. The like to see the big picture before plunging ahead. They focus well on long-term projects. They are even tempered, good listeners, and loyal.
************************************************
Why do introverts feel like they are flawed?
Think about it.
Our culture values and rewards the qualities of extroverts.
We value action, speed, competition and drive.
Talkers are perceived as influential and become role models.
Introverts are outnumbered 3 to 1.
They feel pressure to "shape-up" and act like the rest of the world.
Take a look at the following definitions in the dictionary.
It is obvious that there is a negative stigma associated with
introverts.
Introvert: a personality trait characterized by preoccupation
with the self, lack of sociability,
passiveness. A brooder, egoist, narcissist, loner.
Extrovert: marked by obtaining gratification from what
is outside the self, friendly, uninhibited.
Social, a man of action.
************************************************
Contrary to popular belief, many public personalities
are introverts.
Diane Sawyer
Abraham Lincoln
Michael Jordan
Bill Gates
Harrison Ford
Julia Roberts
Tom Hanks
JK Rowling
Steve Martin
Thomas Edison
Clint Eastwood
*****************************************
I could go on and on about this book.
It has changed the way I view myself.
I finally understand myself.
I finally know that I am not flawed.
This book is so valuable -
It's valuable to help parents understand their children.
It's valuable for teachers to undertand their students.
It's valuable for spouses to understand each other.
It's valuable for everyone to undertand each other.
Most of all, it gives introverts insight into their own selves.
It offers strategies on how to live in an extrovert world.
Pick up a copy.
You won't regret it!
The strongest difference between innies and outies lies in their energy source.
Extroverts are energized by the external world - by activities, people, places, and things. They are like solar panels. Solar panels need the sun to recharge, just as extroverts refuel by being out and about with many people, activities, and stimulation.
Introverts draw energy from their internal world of ideas, emotions, and impressions. They are like a rechargeable battery. They need to stop expending energy and rest in order to recharge. A less stimulating environment restores their energy.
What's important to know is
you cannot change what you are.
Introversion/extroversion is hard-wired.Their brains are different.
It cannot be changed.
But we can learn to work with it.
Extroverts like to experience a lot.
Introverts like to know a lot about what they experience.
Extroverts like breadth - lots of friends, experiences, knowing a little bit about everything. Life is about collecting experiences. At a party, an extrovert will flit around and catch highlights from each conversation, not wanting to miss out on anything.
Introverts like depth. They will limit their experiences but feel each of them deeply. They have fewer friends but more intimacy. Their mind absorbs information, reflects on it, expands it, mulls it over. At a party, an introvert does not enjoy idle chit-chat. They are more content to be in a deep, meaningful conversation with one or two people.
Extroverts think and talk all at the same time. It's effortless to them. In fact, things become clearer as they speak out loud.
Introverts, on the other hand, need time to think and don't speak with spontaneity unless it's a familiar subject. They don't talk for talk's sake. They need to formulate their thoughts before they speak.
There is actually a gene (D4DR gene), or the "novelty seeking gene" that has been studied extensively. This gene affects the neurotransmitter dopamine, which controls excitement levels and motivation.
Those with a long D4DR genes are less sensitive to dopamine, therefore needing to experience more of life's thrills to produce higher levels of dopamine in order to feel happy. They can't stand repetitive experiences or routine work. They can be impulsive and temperamental. They are fast talkers and persuaders. They are willing to take risks to gain rewards.
Those with short D4DR genes are more sensitive to dopamine. They receive enough dopamine in quiet activities that they don't need as much "buzz" in their lives to feel happy. They feel more discomfort than enjoyment from thrill seeking or risk taking. Orderly and cautious, they enjoy the comfort of routine and the familiar. The like to see the big picture before plunging ahead. They focus well on long-term projects. They are even tempered, good listeners, and loyal.
Why do introverts feel like they are flawed?
Think about it.
Our culture values and rewards the qualities of extroverts.
We value action, speed, competition and drive.
Talkers are perceived as influential and become role models.
Introverts are outnumbered 3 to 1.
They feel pressure to "shape-up" and act like the rest of the world.
Take a look at the following definitions in the dictionary.
It is obvious that there is a negative stigma associated with
introverts.
Introvert: a personality trait characterized by preoccupation
with the self, lack of sociability,
passiveness. A brooder, egoist, narcissist, loner.
Extrovert: marked by obtaining gratification from what
is outside the self, friendly, uninhibited.
Social, a man of action.
************************************************
Contrary to popular belief, many public personalities
are introverts.
Diane Sawyer
Abraham Lincoln
Michael Jordan
Bill Gates
Harrison Ford
Julia Roberts
Tom Hanks
JK Rowling
Steve Martin
Thomas Edison
Clint Eastwood
*****************************************
I could go on and on about this book.
It has changed the way I view myself.
I finally understand myself.
I finally know that I am not flawed.
This book is so valuable -
It's valuable to help parents understand their children.
It's valuable for teachers to undertand their students.
It's valuable for spouses to understand each other.
It's valuable for everyone to undertand each other.
Most of all, it gives introverts insight into their own selves.
It offers strategies on how to live in an extrovert world.
Pick up a copy.
You won't regret it!
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