Death with Dignity

Months can go by without remembering.

I think it was triggered by the news story of Brittany Maynard's "death with dignity"  in Oregon.

I was fortunate to be present during the deaths of the two people who gave me life.

My mom's dying moments came as she was literally wasting away with no hope of recovery.  She had been unconscious.  Her will to live was gone long before medical technology let her go.

There was never a lack of desire to live in the case of my dad.  He was a fighter.  Nothing could ever stop him when he thought he could accomplish something.  Deep down I believed,  despite the odds,  if anyone could come back to full health,  it would be my dad.

On the day of his passing,  he was supposed to fly home with us to Vermont,  but complications forced him back to the hospital.  Late that evening,  he deteriorated quickly and was moved to the ICU.  My brother, niece and I were brought to his room to say our good-byes.   He was wearing a negative pressure mask on his face and was unable to talk, so his eyes would have to do the talking.

It was strange, because I didn't know if HE knew he was dying.   Knowing my dad,  maybe he thought this was just another bump in the road.  What do you say at times like this?  Naturally we held his hands and told him we loved him.  He looked at each of us and I could tell he wanted to talk. Then I said to him "Dad, tell Mom I love her and miss her".    Looking into his eyes,  I saw them fill and tears rolled down his cheeks.  He knew.  After listening on speakerphone to all of his children and grandchildren tell him how much they love him,  he slipped away.

A different example of death with dignity.