It's OK to be Sad

One week from today, we'll be in Burlington, Vermont for my daughter Kerry's graduation from the University of Vermont. I know she's been getting sad about leaving Burlington, UVM, and especially all of her friends and the life she has built there.  I read a link on Facebook this morning which described what she and other graduates must be feeling.

This is a link to the entire post, but I will be quoting from sections of it from this point on.  I couldn't possibly say it more eloquently or beautifully!

"Others think the reason graduation is going to be so hard for you is that for the first time in your life, you don’t know what’s next. And you’re scared. You have to start over. "

"You knew you’d have to get a job someday. And you knew that getting a job might be really, really hard."

"What you weren’t prepared for was this unshakable feeling that you don’t belong anywhere. At some point in the past four years, while you were busy giggling from exhaustion as you and your best friends ordered pizza to the library at 2am, this place became your home."

"Not just because you live here, but because every corner of campus has a different memory attached to it. But mostly because the people here –the faces you see every day– make you feel absolutely at peace. And you’re just now realizing that when you cross that graduation stage, you’re not just leaving your home. It ceases to exist."

"The people you know are leaving. Your friends. Your roommates. The acquaintances you are stoked to see at the bar.  The familiar faces of random people on the way to class. Everyone who made this place home. "

"They won’t be here anymore. The storefronts will change. New restaurants will open. New buildings will go up. And a fresh new batch of students will arrive. Your home is constantly changing. You can never go back to it, just as it was."

"Your friends will move to different places."

"Some will move back home. Some will move to new and exciting cities. Some will be just an hour away. Some will be a flight away."

"But you know for certain that it will never be the same. You’ll never all live in the same place again."

"For the rest of your life, you’ll have to travel further than across the hall to see the people you call family. You’ll have get togethers, and brunches, and weekend getaways, but you can never go back “home.”

"And that leaves you feeling…kind of homeless."

"You know it will get better. You know you’ll eventually be happy in your new life. You’ll have close friendships and relationships. You’ll get that dream job. And you’ll fall in love. And even though it seems impossible, you know you’ll find a new home some day."

"But that doesn’t make it better. That almost makes it worse."

 "It scares you. It scares you, because you’ll miss your life so much it hurts. "

"There’s nothing anyone can say to make that feeling go away. And it’s okay to be sad."

"It feels truly unfair –cruel, even– that you were given the most amazing experience of your life, just to have it taken all away."

"I know it’s hard. I know it hurts, but remember this: you are one of the lucky ones. "

"You were lucky enough to have something in your life that was wonderful enough to make it this difficult to leave it behind."