The Plane Stayed Up By Itself

Even though I had let them choose their own socks since babyhood, I was only beginning to learn to trust their adult judgment.. . . I had a sensation very much like the moment in an airplane when you realize that even if you stop holding the plane up by gripping the arms of your seat until your knuckles show white, the plane will stay up by itself. . .

                   ~ Anonymous Parent of Adult Children

Vance and I have spent the past week in Rome.  

My son, Adam, has been studying there this semester.

We brought him to JFK on Valentines Day.

He's been on his own since that day.

On his own in a country very different from our own.

On his own is a city of over 3 million people.

On his own.  Trying to survive the best he can.

We knew it hasn't been easy for Adam.

We were anxious to see him - to make sure he is ok,

to get a glimpse of this life he has made for himself,

and hopefully ease his burdens a little for a short time.

The road to adulthood is different for everyone.

I firmly believe it's impossible to become an adult

                    without hardship.

Hardship has many faces.

Frustration.

Loneliness.

Fear.

Uncertainty.

Separation.

I also believe that you cannot reach adulthood 

                   without accomplishment

and pride in overcoming hardship.

Over the past few month, we've witnessed Adam

travel his road to adulthood.  And we are so proud!

It was a special week for us as parents:

spending this time with Adam,

relying on him to help us,

feeling his love for us on an adult level.

Yet hopefully, at the same time, 

taking some of the burdens of adulthood

off his shoulders for a little while.

Being with my parents, even later in life,

always made me feel safe. 

One day,  Adam came back to our hotel room and

fell asleep on the bed. 

Maybe I was imagining it, but I couldn't help but
think he was feeling safe too.
 

And as I sat in the chair and watched him napping,

I couldn't help but see 

my little boy 

again.