“I don't understand the whole dating thing. I know right off the bat if I'm interested in someone, and I don't want them to waste their money on me and take me out to eat if I know I'm not interested in that person.” Britney Spears
As I was searching for quotes on dating that I could identify with, the last person I expected to agree with was Britney Spears!
Dating... Romance...
I've been there. Done that.
And I'm glad it's over.
But I firmly believe it's important to date a lot of guys so you can learn what you really want in a husband. And what you don't want.
But then again, I am the type of person
who doesn't make quick decisions.
I like to weigh all of the options.
Study the pros and cons.
If I knew I could never marry someone,
I never went on a 2nd date.
If someone told me they loved me early on,
I felt uncomfortable and knew they weren't sincere.
I set them straight.
I have only said "I LOVE YOU" to one person.
But as Valentine's Day approaches,
I thought it would be fun to look back
on the ones I DIDN'T CHOOSE.
My first date was with Donald when I was a sophomore in high school. We had gone to grammar school together and he had blue eyes. And he was smart. We went roller skating and he held my hand. I liked the idea that my first date was over. I had fun, but wasn't really attracted to him. I let him down easy. (No picture of Donald!)
For the rest of high school, I liked Jim. He was smart. He had a nice smile. He was very witty. And he was a really nice guy. We hung out with a group of friends, we slow-danced at high school dances, we went to a few formal dances together. We went on one real date after high school. It was then that I realized I loved him more as a friend. I still remember when I told him this. We were in college talking in front of the student union (Billings building back then). I felt bad hurting him because I liked him so much. I didn't want to lose his friendship. We still keep in touch every Christmas with personal notes on our family Christmas cards. I still consider him my friend.
I dated Rick during college. I worked at a pizza restaurant called "The Tower". He lived in Harris/Millis dorm at UVM. Rick was a runner. He had a nice smile. He was kind of funny and goofy and fun to be with. It didn't last long. He broke up with me at "What Ale's You". I was very distraught for a while. I still have a teddy bear he gave me.
Kip also worked at "The Tower" with me. He was a serious person who looked ahead to his future. He was a very nice guy. Very down to earth and gentle. One night my parents were really upset because I didn't come home until the wee hours of the morning (remember there were no cell phones back then!). Kip and I were talking on a swingset somewhere and lost track of the time. He was a Mormon and we were having a deep conversation about faith. Kip went to France on a mission trip and things just never went any further. We reconnected on Facebook a few years ago.
Jim and Tim. Brothers. That was complicated. They both worked at "The Tower". They were both really nice guys. They were really smart too. And witty. Jim liked me and I liked Tim. It didn't work out for any of us. Jim sent me this picture when he was in college at BU. It was labeled "studying by osmosis".
Dan. I met Dan in college. We had lots of math and computer classes together. We became friends and spent a LOT of time together. We also worked 2nd shift at IBM one summer and we commuted to and from work together. We would go out after work quite often. I LOVED being with Dan. He made me laugh. He was a gentle giant. He always took care of me and made me feel loved.
There was some romance involved, and I really WANTED to fall in love with Dan, but for the most part we were really good friends.
This picture was taken after college. I had moved to New Britain, CT. I was a Big Sister to the little girl in the picture and I took her to Boston one day. Dan met us there and spent the day with us.
At this time, though, I had begun work at Travelers and he had moved to MA to begin his career.
We went to each others weddings. Even though I was already with Vance, I have to admit there was a tug on my heart at his wedding. I knew our relationship would never be the same again. We had been out of touch for a number of years (except Christmas cards). We have since become Facebook friends. It's strange, but I still feel that if I ever needed help, he would be there for me.
I dated Vance for one year before we got engaged.
His picture is not here
because
I chose him
and
he chose me.
“The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out of your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.” ~Juno
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