When the Unexpected Happens

"You gotta wonder why we cling to our expectations. Because the expected is just what keeps us steady… standing… still. The expected is just the beginning.

The unexpected… is what changes our lives."   ~ Meredith Grey

If you're lucky, you grow up knowing
        your parents are your rock.
They guide you.
They comfort you.
They teach you.

Even as you grow up, it's just expected that
when you see them, everything will be ok.
You can kind of relax from your adult responsibilities
and be taken care of once again.
It is just expected.

If you're lucky, that's the way it will always be.
But most of us aren't so lucky.

I remember the day when the unexpected happened to me.

My mother had been diagnosed with throat cancer
      a month before.
She started radiation treatments and then chemo.
I was just going to Florida to help my father with her care.
My sister was going too.  It would be a little vacation.

I pulled my rental car into their driveway.
Dad came out and helped me with my bags, like always.
I went into the house to find my mom sitting in her chair,
watching her soaps, as she always did.
I went to greet her and she said "Hi Honey!"

Then the unexpected began to happened.
She asked me if my sister Lori was home from school yet.

I looked at Dad and he tried to make things right again.
He brought her back to reality.
I wasn't sure he should have done that.

Then she asked me to write a note to the pastor of her
church and send him $10 so he would pray for her.
Her handwriting had deteriorated with her health.
It bothered me that she felt she had to pay a priest
     to do this for her.

I noticed my father looked old and weary.
And tired.
He kept trying to get her to drink.
They bickered.
Her throat was painful and she winced with
every little sip.

Jump forward to the next day.

My mom was sitting trying to drink and she asked me
for the phone book. She needed to find Daddy.
My father was standing right next to me.

When I pointed him out, she said that wasn't Daddy.
It was a mean man who tried to make her eat and drink
and do things she didn't want to do.

As she spoke, I saw the inside of her mouth.
He tongue and cheeks were coated with white.
Thrush.

Then I did something I had never done in my life.
I took control.
And my father seemed relieved.

I called the doctor and told him what was going on.
He instructed me to get my mom to the hospital.

At the hospital, when asked what year it was,
my mom answered "1972".
Her wig was askew and I reached out to fix it.
My heart was breaking.

I went to get food for my dad and me.
He didn't even know he was hungry.

When I went to the airport to get my younger sister,
I almost didn't want her to come.
I knew her life was about to change too.

But I needed her.
My parents needed a rock and I didn't feel I
was up to being a rock all by myself.

The unexpected.
It requires us to change.
It forces us out of our comfort zones.
Sometimes for the better.
Sometimes not.

And when the unexpected happens
you can always be sure of one thing.
You will never forget it.



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My jogging log (new entries in red)

13:18 min           1.04 mile            12:47 min/mile
12:29 min           1.05 miles           11:53 min/mile
14:53 min           1.24 miles           12:00 min/mile
12:34 min           1.06 miles           11:51 min/mile
15:08 min           1.37 miles           11:02 min/mile
16:46 min           1.45 miles           11:34 min/mile
16:07 min           1.44 miles           11:12 min/mile
16:20 min           1.40 miles           11:40 min/mile

15:54 min           1.40 miles           11:21 min/mile

15:03 min           1.40 miles           10:40 min/mile

15:39 min           1.40 miles           11:11 min/mile

15:25 min           1.40 miles           10:51 min/mile

15:28 min           1.40 miles           11:03 min/mile 

15:31 min           1.37 miles           11:20 min/mile

15:20 min           1.40 miles           10:57 min/mile

15:55 min            ??   I ran a new route - GPS didn't work!