For the first 50 years of my life, my perfectionist self mistakenly believed it was all about knowing more, getting it right, planning, attempting to prevent bad things from happening, and keeping all of my chicks in a row. It took me this long to discover that the JOURNEY is all that matters. This quote from Gilda Radner sums it all up:

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
"


Thursday, February 19, 2015

Telling the Story of a Very Special Day

Photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving. 
What you have caught on film is captured forever... it remembers little things,
 long after you have forgotten everything.  ~Aaron Siskind

I love photography.


I love taking pretty pictures.


But more than that,


I love making memories with my camera.


Capturing moments forever.


My sister asked me to be the photographer for my niece's wedding.
Mikey would marry Lance on January 31 2015 in Hawaii.


It was scary.


It was a huge responsibility.


I had never done anything like that before.


The pictures that I take of the wedding will eventually be 
what people remember of this life event.


The pictures that I take, or don't take, will tell a story.


Weddings are all about feelings and emotions.


If I could just capture those emotions with my camera,


I would be the ultimate storyteller.


Before the wedding,  I was very concerned with being prepared technically.


Lenses, exposures, apertures, light...


But when the day came,  I just kept looking at faces.


There was so much to see and capture, and I didn't want to miss anything.


So much love, caring, and support.


Moments that they've pictured in their minds all their lives...


and now they're living them for real.


It was a day full of anticipation.


Happiness and sadness.


And fun.


Caught up in the emotion of the day,


 the fears and anxiety I had been feeling for the past month were gone.


There wasn't time to think about those things 


when there was so much beauty around me.


A groom seeing his bride for the first time.


The lovely Hawaiian setting.


Hand-holding.


My sister watching her daughter say her vows.


Pure joy in one another.


Two lives becoming one.







It was easy to take beautiful pictures of the bride and groom.


Their happiness was so apparent. 


They just had to be themselves.







As the sun went down,  the reception began.




Everyone was relaxed and happy.












I felt so fortunate to be chosen to do this job.


I felt like I was telling their story well.


In the quote above, Aaron Siskind says "photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving".


That is so true.






My first experience shooting a wedding was very rewarding.


But being so focused all day was also very tiring. 

As I went to sleep that night,
I felt very relieved.
I didn't let them down.
I didn't let me down.

Now I have only 5 months to get ready for Emily & Joe's wedding.
In June.
In Alaska.

I feel privileged to be able to tell their story too.

If you're interested,  you can see their entire wedding gallery here

Friday, February 13, 2015

Just the Two of Us

A lot of forethought has gone into this year's Valentine's Day blog.

If my husband wondered why I was taking so many selfies of the two of us this past year,  he never asked.  And gratefully, he never complained either - even those times when it took 4 or 5 tries to get a decent photo where we were both in focus and looked semi-good. 

If it wasn't for my iPhone,  we probably wouldn't have very many pictures of the two of us together.  For most of the year,  it is just the two of us.

I actually didn't begin this crusade until September, 


but this first one was from earlier in the summer at a James Taylor concert at Tanglewood.



This was in Westport at a food festival in September.  


Happy after eating our way through the states buildings at the Big E!


In the mist of Niagara Falls.


On a cold fall day on a CT beach after a lunch of lobster rolls.


At the Burlington waterfront to watch the sunset.


On a winter hike with the dogs at Valley Falls.


On our recent trip to Hawaii.


Drinking lemonade in Kapaa on Kauai.


On Hanalei Beach on Kauai.


At Waimea Canyon on Kauai.


Driving our rental car - convertible - on Maui.


Hiking the Pipiwai Stream trail on Maui.


Relaxing on the beach in Kauai.


Happy Valentines Day to my one and only.

It's been a year of change, loss, struggle, and celebrations.
(though, couldn't that be said about every year?)

Through it all, we remain strong.
I love you more than ever!

P.S.  The selfies will continue.

Monday, February 2, 2015

The One Where Annie Turns 20!


I think watching TV together is our "thing".
We originally bonded over seven seasons of "Gilmore Girls".  But as she grew up,  we moved on to mother/daughter bonding over episodes of "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette".

As Annie turns 20, we are currently about halfway through a TV series that actually aired its first episode when she was in utero! Who would have ever thought I would be watching it with her twenty years later?

If you were ever a fan of this series, you probably know what I'm talking about by the title of this blog post. If not, you will definitely know if I mention it's main characters:

 Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica.


Just as the Gilmore Girls introduced Annie to her teen years,  Friends is bringing Annie into her 20's.  Considered a little racy in its infancy,  the characters are pretty tame when compared to today's standards.  They don't swear.  They don't drink much.  They strive to work and make something of themselves. And they bond over drinks, but their drink of choice is coffee (just like Gilmore Girls!).
But more than anything,  they define what it means to be a friend.

 As Annie enters her 20's,  I feel our relationship changing.  We'll always be mother and daughter,  but we are now becoming friends too.









I'd like to wish you a very happy 20th birthday, Annie!
You are beautiful.



You're fun...


You're funny...

And I'm proud to call you my "friend".


I'll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I'll be there for you
(Like I've been there before)
I'll be there for you
('Cause you're there for me too)

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Letter to Me


The young girl in the mirror is me, roughly 30 years ago.  I had graduated from college and was living in New Britain, CT in my first apartment.  My job at Travelers Insurance as a computer programmer allowed me to meet my future husband, although we had just begun dating at the time.

It occurs to me now that I am now about the same age that my mother would have been back then.

If I could write a letter to the young girl in the mirror,  this is what I'd say.

Dearest Gayle,

I look at you and see myself.  We are both happy with our lives and optimistic about our futures.  We both have fears and uncertainties, but choose to see the cup as half-full (more like 3/4 full).  That never changes.  My camera is still one of most valued possessions.  It urges me to focus on all that is beautiful in the world.  Never put it down.

I hesitate to give advice to you because it might change the person I am today.  But chances are, you might not listen anyways.  You are at the age where you think you know so much already! I've learned that life is the ultimate teacher.  Take what I tell you and store it away.  Maybe some of it will help someday.

The guy that took that smiling picture of you will be your husband in a few years.  You both love children and will want to start a family soon after you are married.  This will be one of the most difficult times in your life.  It will teach you patience and will test your optimism.  In fact, it will the only time in your life that you see the cup approaching empty.  Watching everyone around you having babies will hurt very deeply.  A pregnancy lasting only 3 months will bring despair.  However, your monthly roller-coaster ride will end 6 years later with the birth of a beautiful baby boy. Two precious girls will follow to round out your family.   Those long years of waiting were not wasted.  You now have the means and heart to enjoy being a stay-at-home mom.   These years will be very trying but the most rewarding and wonderful years of your life.  They will be your greatest gift.

Mom will become one of your closest friends.  I couldn't even begin to count the number of hours you will spend on the phone with her as you are home with your children.  She will be there to answer questions, but more importantly you will laugh together as you share the little everyday happenings of a young mom.  Your children will love her.

Just as Mom will be your friend,  Dad will always be your greatest source of inspiration.  There will not be a problem he can't help you fix.  You will always see him as your pillar of strength.  He will cherish Mom and see her through her final days.  Then he will need you to keep him going during his darkest time after she is gone.  The man you envisioned living forever, sadly, will not.  Being with him in his struggle to survive and gain back his strength will inspire you more than anything else in life.

When I was your age,  I never doubted that my relationships with my brother and sisters would remain a constant in my life.  But another life lesson is that nothing remains the same.  Change is the only constant.  Sometimes, no matter how hard you try,  you have to accept things for what there are and be at peace with yourself.

One of your sisters needs you more than you could ever know.  Instead of wondering, respecting her privacy, and waiting for her to open up to you,  this is when you need to trust what your heart is telling you.

Marriage is not without its ups and downs.  Merging two people with different upbringings can be challenging.  When you first meet, your focus will be on how much you are so alike - values, beliefs, wants, needs.  While these are true,  time will reveal where you are very different.  Accept and value these differences, communicate how you feel, and develop an understanding of each other.

Just a few more little pieces of advice.  Don't bake in the sun.  Wear your sunglasses.  Make sure the back door of the van is closed before you head out to Vermont. Keep an eye on the gas gauge.  Don't use the waterpik on high.  Don't assume all mothers are tired.   Hide your hairbrush.

Finally,  enjoy your life.  Don't worry so much.  There is someone much wiser and more powerful in the control seat!