To My Lorelai Gilmore

To My Lorelai Gilmore

A blog post from your daughter- I'm glad you use the same 3 passwords for everything! (: 

Happy Birthday and Happy Mother's Day!! Love, Annie                                                    

P.S. I'm not sure why certain things are highlighted and others are not... or why this title    

won't stay in big lettering...but I can't ask you for help.... so, sorry that this doesn't look too

pretty! I love you!!                                                                                                                 

Back when I was in middle school, my mom and I began watching a show called "Gilmore Girls." I remember that she was sorting laundry in the foyer and had her laptop open on the cabinet so she could watch an episode as she worked, and I ended up staying and watching it with her. The show revolves around a mother and daughter, Lorelai and Rory Gilmore. Lorelai had Rory when she was 16 and raises her on her own, which has given them a very close, fun, "best friends first, mother/daughter second" relationship. My mom and I ended up going back to the beginning of the show and, over the next year or two, watched every single episode of the show's 7 seasons together. 

We laughed "like hyenas" (as my Dad would tell us) at episodes, we cried at episodes, and most importantly, we strengthened and changed our relationship as the episodes went on. Besides the fact that it was something we consistently did together, for me, it was an enormous change in my perception of what a mother/daughter relationship can be. Watching Lorelai and Rory interact on the show made me realize not only that my mom could be my best friend instead of just my mom, but that I wanted to have that kind of relationship with her!

I learned and became comfortable with the fact that my mom could be my friend, too, even though she had the title of "mom." Contrary to my previous beliefs, I could talk to and hang out with my mom like any of my best friends. Furthermore, her being my mom didn't detract from our ability to be friends; actually, it added to it! What other friend would deal with you and all of your absolute worst, uncensored qualities, and still love you unconditionally and forgive you without batting an eye? In addition to giving you life? I think that's a pretty good deal.

It wasn't an immediate change in our relationship after watching "Gilmore Girls," but now I say without hesitation that my mom is one of my best friends. And sometimes I think we've both fallen a bit into the ways of our beloved Lorelai and Rory without meaning to... (or maybe meaning to, a little bit)...

We frequently think that we're hilarious, and will be laughing at something one of us or both of us said much longer than anyone else is (more often than not, we're also the only ones laughing to begin with...).

We've spent many, MANY hours in the car together going on college visits, trips to VT, and back and forth between Rochester and home, and once we get talking, the trip flies by. Sometimes causing a little bit of alarm when we stop talking long enough to realize that we haven't stopped for gas in far too long...

(No worries- we made it to a rest stop in time!)

She's always there to talk to me when I call home from school, whether I'm stressed, excited, or if we haven't talked in a while and need to catch up on all of each other's gossip.

(the screenshot below is from a recent lengthy phone call in my last few weeks of school- we hadn't caught up in 2 or 3 weeks...)

It's no longer embarrassing to color coordinate with her- actually, I kind of enjoy it! 

She's always there to support me and make me feel loved- whether it's emotionally...

or by coming up to Eastman to see me perform in various concerts and recitals...

or physically, i.e. my senior year poison ivy infection, or after I got my wisdom teeth removed, was slightly loopy on medication, and needed company...

My mom is one of a kind. And even if I get grumpy with her and need reminding...

I know that at the end of the day, she will always be there. To hang out and watch an episode of Gilmore Girls with in her hotel room in Rochester...

To have consistently blurry pictures with on the few occasions she's not behind the camera, because that means my dad is the one behind the camera...

                         

And to lean on when times are rough, and I just need my mom. 

(pictured above- a much needed Parents' Weekend of Freshman year at Eastman)

In my 16th Birthday card, my mom wrote, "You are my Rory." It meant more to me than she knew, and more than any other elaborate things she could have written.

Well, Mom- you are and always will be my Lorelai Gilmore. 

It's OK to be Sad

One week from today, we'll be in Burlington, Vermont for my daughter Kerry's graduation from the University of Vermont. I know she's been getting sad about leaving Burlington, UVM, and especially all of her friends and the life she has built there.  I read a link on Facebook this morning which described what she and other graduates must be feeling.

This is a link to the entire post, but I will be quoting from sections of it from this point on.  I couldn't possibly say it more eloquently or beautifully!

"Others think the reason graduation is going to be so hard for you is that for the first time in your life, you don’t know what’s next. And you’re scared. You have to start over. "

"You knew you’d have to get a job someday. And you knew that getting a job might be really, really hard."

"What you weren’t prepared for was this unshakable feeling that you don’t belong anywhere. At some point in the past four years, while you were busy giggling from exhaustion as you and your best friends ordered pizza to the library at 2am, this place became your home."

"Not just because you live here, but because every corner of campus has a different memory attached to it. But mostly because the people here –the faces you see every day– make you feel absolutely at peace. And you’re just now realizing that when you cross that graduation stage, you’re not just leaving your home. It ceases to exist."

"The people you know are leaving. Your friends. Your roommates. The acquaintances you are stoked to see at the bar.  The familiar faces of random people on the way to class. Everyone who made this place home. "

"They won’t be here anymore. The storefronts will change. New restaurants will open. New buildings will go up. And a fresh new batch of students will arrive. Your home is constantly changing. You can never go back to it, just as it was."

"Your friends will move to different places."

"Some will move back home. Some will move to new and exciting cities. Some will be just an hour away. Some will be a flight away."

"But you know for certain that it will never be the same. You’ll never all live in the same place again."

"For the rest of your life, you’ll have to travel further than across the hall to see the people you call family. You’ll have get togethers, and brunches, and weekend getaways, but you can never go back “home.”

"And that leaves you feeling…kind of homeless."

"You know it will get better. You know you’ll eventually be happy in your new life. You’ll have close friendships and relationships. You’ll get that dream job. And you’ll fall in love. And even though it seems impossible, you know you’ll find a new home some day."

"But that doesn’t make it better. That almost makes it worse."

 "It scares you. It scares you, because you’ll miss your life so much it hurts. "

"There’s nothing anyone can say to make that feeling go away. And it’s okay to be sad."

"It feels truly unfair –cruel, even– that you were given the most amazing experience of your life, just to have it taken all away."

"I know it’s hard. I know it hurts, but remember this: you are one of the lucky ones. "

"You were lucky enough to have something in your life that was wonderful enough to make it this difficult to leave it behind."

Kerry's First Job

Kerry has a job! 

Kerry will be graduating in May from the University of Vermont School of Nursing.  
She has been in the process of finding a job for the past few months.

In March,  I went with Kerry to Nashville where she had an interview with

Vanderbilt University Medical Center.

While we were there, we had 1/2 day to do some touristy things.

After checking into the hotel, we had lunch at Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville.
We were greeted at the door by this very TALL girl (on stilts) with a hearty  
"How y'all doin today?"

We were seated and ordered drinks and lunch.

While we were waiting for our food, the TALL girl was talking to the women at the table next to us.  We overheard her saying she was from St. Albans. 
We wondered if there was a St. Albans in TN as well as in VT.
We joined in the conversation and discovered the TALL girl was actually a native of St. Albans, Vermont.  The people at the next table were from Vermont too.
When we told them we were also from Vermont, it was very odd. 

This was so strange!  It had to mean something!  
A good omen of something, maybe?
A Vermonter welcoming us to Nashville!

The TALL girl told us she had to learn how to speak correctly before she could begin her job.  It took her a while to say "y'all"  like a real southerner!  She also told us how much she loves living in Nashville and wished Kerry luck in her interview.

Wandering the streets after lunch, we noticed a lot of Jack Daniels souvenirs.

It was a very interesting little area, with one bar after another along the streets and the sound of country music coming from each open door.   The amazing thing was how really GOOD all of the singers were!

We stopped to listen to this young girl while we had an ice cream cone.  Her mother stood nearby watching.  She probably imagined herself a future Taylor Swift!

We walked by the Bridgestone Arena...

and went to the Country Music Hall of Fame.

We went quickly through the exhibits of the really old timers.  It started to get interesting when we saw Elvis Presley's gold limo and piano.

There were walls of gold and platinum records.

The displays of the more current country singers were more interesting for me.

Brad Paisley's guitar...

Keith Urban...

The dress Carrie Underwood wore when she won American Idol...

and Taylor Swift, complete with home movies.

After walking around a little more, we went back to the hotel.  

Kerry wanted to get a good night of sleep before her interview in the morning.

She had been preparing for this interview and had papers full of facts that she was studying before going to bed.  We ordered room service for breakfast the next morning so she could relax as she got ready to go.

I went with Kerry to the interview, but waited downstairs in the lobby. 

Afterward, she was given an iPod with a self-guided tour of the medical center.

The tour started at the Children's Hospital.

It was amazing!

The hospital was comprised of many different buildings, and I followed Kerry as she took the audio tour.

The grounds were just as beautiful as the buildings.  

There were plenty of areas to sit in peaceful solitude, 

away from whatever was happening

 inside the hospital. 

Kerry thought the interview went well - as far as she could tell.  

But they were interviewing 200 candidates for an undetermined number of positions.

It was hard to know exactly what they were looking for and what her chances were.

Things are so different in this time when social media is so prevalent.  There was a Facebook page for the applicants to join to communicate with each other.  Last week, Kerry read on Facebook about others getting wait-listed or rejected.  The following day, she sent us a copy of the email with an offer of employment!

The thought of moving all the way to Nashville was a little scary, but after much deliberation, Kerry accepted the offer with the support of her fellow classmates at UVM.  I know how hard it will be for her to leave Burlington because I felt the same way when I came to Hartford for my first job at Travelers Insurance Company many years ago.

But I had really good vibes when we were there,

 and I have a really good feeling 

that Kerry is going to love working and living there. 

After all, there was the omen.

Congratulations, Kerry!