Out of My Element

It was "parents weekend"  in Rochester at the Eastman School of Music.  It was great to see Annie, get to know some of her friends,  and experience Eastman in a way that we never have before.

I couldn't help but feel slightly out of my element, though.
Let me restate that.
I felt VERY much out of my element!

Being a music school, the activities of the weekend were just that.
On Friday night, Annie and her friends were extremely excited to attend a concert by the Eastman Philharmonia performing Gustav Mahler's Symphony No. 2.  I had never heard of Gustav Mahler, but we went along.

Being my first symphony EVER, and knowing I would be attending many more such performances in years to come, I went with the mindset that I could learn to appreciate classical music.  As I sat between Annie and Vance, I began by listening closely to the sounds.  My foot was moving in time to the music.  A short time later, Annie asked me to put my foot down because it was distracting her.  My mind began to wander.  After a few minutes, it all began to sound the same.  

On Saturday night, we attended a performance by the Rochester Philharmonic Orchestra of concertos by Johannes Brahms and Bela Bartok.  I have no idea what a "concerto" actually is, but the first was a piano concerto which lasted 45 minutes.  Again, I tried to concentrate but found my mind wandering.  The man behind us began to snore.  If I truly had an appreciation for the music, I probably would have been annoyed. I did, however, find it amusing!  The guest pianist was a tall, lanky man dressed in tails.  I focused on him and was amazed at his talent.  He seemed to be very emotionally involved in the music.  When he finished a section of music,  he flung his hands and body backwards and looked like he was going to fall off the bench.  I laughed to myself, but upon looking around found that nobody else was amused!  He continued to be extremely expressive with his body as he played.  I watched people around me sitting still as statues.  At one point my water bottle slipped and fell to the floor.  Annie seemed annoyed.  I felt like I had to sneeze and really didn't want to make another sound, so I held my finger tight under my nose for quite some time to stifle the sneeze.  A lady not far from us unwrapped a candy or cough drop and I saw heads turn toward her in disapproval.

On both nights, I thought the music was performed well - it sounded good to me, anyways.  But if you had put me in a room afterward and played excerpts of any of the songs movements concertos symphonies  - whatever they are - I am positive I would not be able to recognize a single one of them again.

I was most excited for the performance on Monday night of the Eastman Wind Orchestra (the freshman/sophomore wind ensemble) because Annie was playing in two of the songs. I took my camera and a few lenses with me and sat in the front row of the balcony.

 There she was, performing in this magnificent theater!

 Well, there she is...

 OK, THERE she is!

The music sounded as good to me as the Rochester Philharmonic.

But then again, who am I to judge!

 Afterward, I didn't feel as "out of my element" anymore.

They wanted pictures!

Above is a picture of Annie with the other 3 members of her saxophone quartet.

 And here she is with more saxophone students.

 And with me.

I took this picture of Annie outside the Kodak Theater after the concert.  We were headed back to the hotel where we would order room service, get in our pj's and watch a few old episodes of Gilmore Girls before going to bed.

Before we went to sleep I entertained her with my impressions of the music and asked her all of the stupid questions that were going through my mind during the concert.

I knew she would go to class the next day and probably have a good laugh with her friends over my questions and comments.

I didn't care, though.

I was so proud of her and so happy to have spent such a wonderful weekend.

Parents Weekend.

You don't have to know a lot about music.

You just have to be a parent.

And THAT is where I am definitely in my element!

I've Got Your Back

 While I love to take pictures of people's faces the best, sometimes my favorite photographs don't include faces at all.

Images taken from behind have a very different quality and can be quite powerful.  We can see what they are seeing and because of this, we can maybe feel what they are feeling.

This is Annie watching her brother and sister play outside at Grandma's house in Vermont.

Kerry is running after the seagulls on Cocoa Beach in Florida.

Adam and Kerry watching a Disney movie together while I was wishing they would fall asleep and take a nap.

 Tigger, enjoying the warm sun on a cold, snowy winter day.

 Annie looking out the back of the bus on the first day of school.

 And then in later years walking down the street to the bus stop.

 Annie is tired after playing in the sand on the beach at Lake George.

 Adam takes pictures of Lake Champlain with Kerry at his side.

 This is me and my dog, Jack, enjoying one of the outstanding Lake Champlain sunsets.

 Kerry watches a rodeo in Alaska with her cousin, Emily.

 Adam and Matthew looking at Lake George and the Adirondacks after hiking to Pilot's Knob.

Kerry walks on the roadside in Stowe with her cousins from Alaska, Emily and Mikey

Annie receives a warm hug from Zachary at the town green before prom.

Adam watches the sunset over Rome with his dad.

Annie, Kerry and Mikey frolic in the cold Pacific at Stinson Beach near San Francisco.

Annie walks into the sparkling waters of Lake George.

Kerry heads off to go trick-or-treating dressed as an old lady. 

Adam and Kerry holding hands as they walk through the leaves in Stowe, Vermont.

This a view that most parents love (blurred for privacy)!

 If there is any one secret of success, 

it lies in the ability

 to get the other person's point of view

 and see things 

from that person's angle

 as well as from your own. 

~ Henry Ford

a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step

“I sustain myself with the love of family.”    ― Maya Angelou

This weekend we drove almost 1000 miles to get our family together.

First stop - Rochester, NY

Annie began her musical journey at the Eastman School of Music five weeks ago.

She has faced so many challenges since we've seen her last.

She has conquered many fears and insecurities too.

We met Annie on Friday outside her dorm on her way back from class.

Greeting us with a big smile and big hug, I couldn't help but think it doesn't get any better than this.

This is what parenting is all about. 

  

At lunch, we met some of her new friends.  Sabrina...

CJ and Drew...

and Khanh.

She was excited to show us around a little now that the school has become her home.

We went back to her dorm to get her things to pack them in the car for the next leg of our journey - Burlington.

Her bulletin boards in her room were covered with photographs of people from her past.

After driving though many backroads of New York

we finally crossed Lake Champlain on the bridge at Crown Point into Vermont.

When we got to Burlington,  Kerry and Adam were waiting for us at his apartment.

It was late, but we chatted for a while before heading to the hotel for some sleep.

We stayed at the new Hotel Vermont on Cherry Street.  It was amazing!

Annie slept on a trundle bed on the floor.  She commented the next morning how nice it was to sleep close the the ground after sleeping in a lofted bed near the ceiling for the past 5 weeks!

Adam met us for a trip to the farmers market.

Then he played in the leaves with his sister!

Then we drove to Williston to watch Kerry play softball.

UVM had 3 games against UConn.  They didn't win, but it didn't matter.

After the games, we went out to dinner and then to our favorite place - Burlington Bay - for creemees!

This morning we ate breakfast together at the Skinny Pancake before heading back to Connecticut with Annie.

I will be driving her back to Rochester on Tuesday to end her fall break.

If you add those miles, we will have driven well over the thousand mark.

But it is soooo worth it!

The Most Beautiful Day

I had my yearly mammogram last week.  I'd forgotten all about it until two days ago.  I came home from walking the dogs on a beautiful fall day to find the light blinking on my answering machine.  I pressed play.

The message was for me.  It was the mammography specialist at Jefferson Radiology.  Would I please call her back?

Intellectually, I knew it was stupid to panic.  But my brain was going to places that weren't calm and reasonable.  I tried calling her back but got her answering machine.  As instructed, I left my cell phone number so she could reach me wherever I was.  Five hours later when I finally talked with her in person, she just told me that something in the films looked different than last year and they needed more views to determine what it was.

The first appointment I could get was two days away.

My mind was all over the place.  Growing up, breast cancer was a pretty dismal diagnosis.  I know there is a world of difference in breast cancer treatments today.  Still, just the thought of any cancer at all is enough to instill fear in my heart.  My kids still need me.  My husband. My sister.  My grandchildren would never know me.  I'm glad I take so many pictures.  I'm glad I write this blog.

Have you ever heard about someone you know being diagnosed with cancer and you feel horrible for them, but you also feel a little bit of relief because you think your odds of getting cancer have just gone down?  Then you feel guilty for even thinking that thought?  I have, and I'm not proud of it.

Other thoughts were of my parents.  I considered how the end of life isn't quite as scary as it used to be because I believe I will see them again someday.

Then I considered how I would face the disease process.  Would I be strong and face it with courage and optimism, doing whatever I had to do to beat the disease and enjoying life as much as possible?  Would I be able to appreciate all that I have?  Or would I wallow in self-pity?  I hope I wouldn't do that.

Next, I started cleaning the house.  I put away the 3 laundry baskets full of clean laundry that had been decorating my bedroom for the past few weeks.   I vacuumed.  I cleaned the kid's bathroom.  Kind of like the nesting instinct before you give birth, I was kind of preparing for something.

I also talked to God.

Sometime during that first day of not knowing, a sense of calm and peace came over me. It seems like I had thought through every possibility that could happen,  and I knew I could handle it. Who knows? Maybe there's a reason this was happening that I didn't know yet.  I had to trust in God. I just felt that everything was going to be ok.

I slept 9 hours last night and woke up very rested.  It was a beautiful day once again.  As I walked into the medical building I was in awe at how beautiful the trees were.  And the breeze felt so nice.  I was amazingly calm.

It was a happy ending.  With additional views, the radiologist declared everything to be normal.  YES!

The day was just as beautiful when I walked to my car to leave.  I was relieved for sure.  I was also proud of myself.  Even though it turned out to be nothing, I felt like I had faced the enemy and was stronger because of it.

And more appreciative for my life.