Just the Two of Us

A lot of forethought has gone into this year's Valentine's Day blog.

If my husband wondered why I was taking so many selfies of the two of us this past year,  he never asked.  And gratefully, he never complained either - even those times when it took 4 or 5 tries to get a decent photo where we were both in focus and looked semi-good. 

If it wasn't for my iPhone,  we probably wouldn't have very many pictures of the two of us together.  For most of the year,  it is just the two of us.

I actually didn't begin this crusade until September, 

but this first one was from earlier in the summer at a James Taylor concert at Tanglewood.

This was in Westport at a food festival in September.  

Happy after eating our way through the states buildings at the Big E!

In the mist of Niagara Falls.

On a cold fall day on a CT beach after a lunch of lobster rolls.

At the Burlington waterfront to watch the sunset.

On a winter hike with the dogs at Valley Falls.

On our recent trip to Hawaii.

Drinking lemonade in Kapaa on Kauai.

On Hanalei Beach on Kauai.

At Waimea Canyon on Kauai.

Driving our rental car - convertible - on Maui.

Hiking the Pipiwai Stream trail on Maui.

Relaxing on the beach in Kauai.

Happy Valentines Day to my one and only.

It's been a year of change, loss, struggle, and celebrations.

(though, couldn't that be said about every year?)

Through it all, we remain strong.

I love you more than ever!

P.S.  The selfies will continue.

The One Where Annie Turns 20!

I think watching TV together is our "thing".

We originally bonded over seven seasons of "Gilmore Girls".  But as she grew up,  we moved on to mother/daughter bonding over episodes of "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette".

As Annie turns 20, we are currently about halfway through a TV series that actually aired its first episode when she was in utero! Who would have ever thought I would be watching it with her twenty years later?

If you were ever a fan of this series, you probably know what I'm talking about by the title of this blog post. If not, you will definitely know if I mention it's main characters:

 Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica.

Just as the Gilmore Girls introduced Annie to her teen years,  Friends is bringing Annie into her 20's.  Considered a little racy in its infancy,  the characters are pretty tame when compared to today's standards.  They don't swear.  They don't drink much.  They strive to work and make something of themselves. And they bond over drinks, but their drink of choice is coffee (just like Gilmore Girls!).

But more than anything,  they define what it means to be a friend.

 As Annie enters her 20's,  I feel our relationship changing.  We'll always be mother and daughter,  but we are now becoming friends too.

I'd like to wish you a very happy 20th birthday, Annie!

You are beautiful.

You're fun...

You're funny...

And I'm proud to call you my "friend".

I'll be there for you

(When the rain starts to pour)

I'll be there for you

(Like I've been there before)

I'll be there for you

('Cause you're there for me too)

Letter to Me

The young girl in the mirror is me, roughly 30 years ago.  I had graduated from college and was living in New Britain, CT in my first apartment.  My job at Travelers Insurance as a computer programmer allowed me to meet my future husband, although we had just begun dating at the time.

It occurs to me now that I am now about the same age that my mother would have been back then.

If I could write a letter to the young girl in the mirror,  this is what I'd say.

Dearest Gayle,

I look at you and see myself.  We are both happy with our lives and optimistic about our futures.  We both have fears and uncertainties, but choose to see the cup as half-full (more like 3/4 full).  That never changes.  My camera is still one of most valued possessions.  It urges me to focus on all that is beautiful in the world.  Never put it down.

I hesitate to give advice to you because it might change the person I am today.  But chances are, you might not listen anyways.  You are at the age where you think you know so much already! I've learned that life is the ultimate teacher.  Take what I tell you and store it away.  Maybe some of it will help someday.

The guy that took that smiling picture of you will be your husband in a few years.  You both love children and will want to start a family soon after you are married.  This will be one of the most difficult times in your life.  It will teach you patience and will test your optimism.  In fact, it will the only time in your life that you see the cup approaching empty.  Watching everyone around you having babies will hurt very deeply.  A pregnancy lasting only 3 months will bring despair.  However, your monthly roller-coaster ride will end 6 years later with the birth of a beautiful baby boy. Two precious girls will follow to round out your family.   Those long years of waiting were not wasted.  You now have the means and heart to enjoy being a stay-at-home mom.   These years will be very trying but the most rewarding and wonderful years of your life.  They will be your greatest gift.

Mom will become one of your closest friends.  I couldn't even begin to count the number of hours you will spend on the phone with her as you are home with your children.  She will be there to answer questions, but more importantly you will laugh together as you share the little everyday happenings of a young mom.  Your children will love her.

Just as Mom will be your friend,  Dad will always be your greatest source of inspiration.  There will not be a problem he can't help you fix.  You will always see him as your pillar of strength.  He will cherish Mom and see her through her final days.  Then he will need you to keep him going during his darkest time after she is gone.  The man you envisioned living forever, sadly, will not.  Being with him in his struggle to survive and gain back his strength will inspire you more than anything else in life.

When I was your age,  I never doubted that my relationships with my brother and sisters would remain a constant in my life.  But another life lesson is that nothing remains the same.  Change is the only constant.  Sometimes, no matter how hard you try,  you have to accept things for what there are and be at peace with yourself.

One of your sisters needs you more than you could ever know.  Instead of wondering, respecting her privacy, and waiting for her to open up to you,  this is when you need to trust what your heart is telling you.

Marriage is not without its ups and downs.  Merging two people with different upbringings can be challenging.  When you first meet, your focus will be on how much you are so alike - values, beliefs, wants, needs.  While these are true,  time will reveal where you are very different.  Accept and value these differences, communicate how you feel, and develop an understanding of each other.

Just a few more little pieces of advice.  Don't bake in the sun.  Wear your sunglasses.  Make sure the back door of the van is closed before you head out to Vermont. Keep an eye on the gas gauge.  Don't use the waterpik on high.  Don't assume all mothers are tired.   Hide your hairbrush.

Finally,  enjoy your life.  Don't worry so much.  There is someone much wiser and more powerful in the control seat!

December 25th - Just an Ordinary Day

December 25, 2014

It's a gloomy, rainy day today.

We're not opening presents like most families are doing today.

There is nothing to unwrap.

The kids didn't even wake up early like they usually do.

There is nothing under our tree today -

no reason to get out of bed.

On Sunday, December 21, however, we awoke to a beautiful layer of snow on the ground.  

We had a scrumptious breakfast of eggs, 

bacon, sausage, 

sticky buns, fruit salad,

coffee and hot chocolate.

Then we unwrapped our gifts. 

Stockings first.

We celebrated Christmas early this year

 because our family couldn't be

together on the 25th.  

Kerry had to work 

both Christmas Eve and Christmas day, 

and she lives in Nashville.

And it just wouldn't be Christmas without her.

Kerry opened the felted replicas 

of Ravioli and Fletcher, her two pets.

Adam was happy to get some good pens for correcting papers.

Reading glasses with built-in lights were the ideal gift for Vance!

I knitted a headband for Annie.

We moved to the dining room near the tree 

for the rest of the gifts.

Since we don't have a lot of family around, 

our holidays are usually 

just our immediate family.

When all of the gifts were opened,  

we worked on a puzzle together.

At the end, there were two puzzle pieces missing.

I had one.  Kerry had the other.

We think alike.

We both wanted to put the final piece in.

So we decided to put them in at the same time.

Dinner was prime rib, twice baked potatoes, 

carrots, brussel sprouts and rolls.

For dessert, Adam tried his new French Press coffee maker.

Annie brought home a carrot cake 

from Cheezy Eddie's in Rochester

for dessert.

The day was complete with a fun game of rummy.

Adam needed a little help from Momo.

It was a beautiful Christmas day!

Last night, on the real Christmas Eve, we went to church,

watched Good Will Hunting,

and went to Vernon Diner at midnight for some junk food.

Today we will just relax.

Merry Christmas!