For the first 50 years of my life, my perfectionist self mistakenly believed it was all about knowing more, getting it right, planning, attempting to prevent bad things from happening, and keeping all of my chicks in a row. It took me this long to discover that the JOURNEY is all that matters. This quote from Gilda Radner sums it all up:

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
"


Monday, July 29, 2013

The Color Purple

I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it.... People think pleasing God is all God care about.  But any fool living in the world can see it always trying to please us back. 

 ~Alice Walker, The Color Purple, 1982




 Some people find God in the beauty of the world around them.  
It brings peace to their souls.


Adam found the perfect spot on top of the boathouse this morning with his Bible and his journal.


He wasn't alone.   


There are way too few times like these in our days!

Friday, July 19, 2013

Endless Summer

I haven't written in a while.

It's summer.

You probably think I'm having so much fun and doing all kinds of summer activities that I don't have time to blog.

The truth is, I hate summer.  It's my least favorite season.

I truly detest hot, humid weather.  And this summer has been nothing but hot and humid.  And wet. And mosquitoey. Trapped inside the house without being able to open the windows.  A beautiful garden in my yard that I can only enjoy through my kitchen window.

I think I was actually getting into a funk for a while until I had a talk with myself and snapped myself out of it.

I didn't always feel this way. I used to love summer.  There were endless days of laying in the sun by the lake,  camping with my cousins, swimming, drive-in movies, tennis, naps in the afternoon after staying up until the wee hours of the morning engrossed in a good book, daydreaming, riding my bike everywhere...I remember one summer day when I sat and sketched a picture of my foot for hours and enjoyed every minute of it!

Yesterday I went to the beach with my daughter, Annie.  As I floated in the cool water of the ocean on a day that reached 100 degrees inland, I watched the little ones playing in the sand.  I watched the teens frolicking in the water. I watched the lovers kissing.

I was wearing a bikini I bought about ten years ago - the first time I have worn it in public since then.  My stomach's not flat anymore, but I didn't care.  It felt good.  I wasn't able to read my iPad in the sun, so I just lay there listening to other people's conversations, listening to the water rush against the shore, feeling the intense heat of the sun on my skin, feeling the cool breeze come along to cool it off.

When we left the beach later in the afternoon, I felt renewed.  Somehow it had brought me back in time to the summer days that I loved.  I left the beach with a burn on my back, a tan on my stomach and a much better attitude!

The heat wave will pass. I have vacation to look forward to.  Fall clothes are out already in the stores.  I'll get through it.

Because the best thing about summer is it brings in the fall!





Monday, July 8, 2013

Look Who's Twenty-One!

It's hard to believe.

My daughter, Kerry, turned 21 yesterday!

We went to Burlington to celebrate with her.  (Annie had to work so she couldn't be with us.)

Kerry chose to go to a restaurant in Winooski called "Our House".

When the waitress came to take our drink orders,   we told her it was Kerry's 21st birthday.  She carded Kerry when she ordered a raspberry margherita.


I think the waitress felt honored to deliver her first legal drink.



 When I saw Adam and Kerry toasting with alcoholic beverages, I couldn't help remember when they were both so excited to drink out of the "Chip" cups after going to see Beauty and the Beast on ice!







Then we got our amazing dinners!


Kerry got lobster mac...


Adam got lamb meatloaf with mashed potatoes...


I got chicken pot pie...


 and Vance got lobster risotto.


Kerry opened up the card we got for her - a cat that sings happy birthday.


And a gift with a similar theme!




When the waitress packed up the leftovers to take home, she wrote a very nice note on the box!

                    
A picture with mom and dad,


and with her big brother!





On our way out,  there was a sign that made us think of loved ones who aren't with us anymore...


Then we headed back to Kerry's apartment for a scrumptious chocolate mousse cake...


a birthday wish on her bathroom mirror from Kerry's friend, Sam...


and a kiss from her special man...


I'm sure she'll be celebrating again without mom and dad, but I'm happy
we could spend time with Kerry on her 21st birthday.  We love her so much 
and are so proud of the caring, compassionate person she is.

We love you, Berra!














Monday, June 24, 2013

ai·lur·o·phile /īˈlo͝orəˌfÄ«l/

"In my opinion, cat owners are tolerant, uniquely willing to see past the flaws of others, nurturing and patient - largely because they have been taught these qualities by cats."

How true!  

And written by a true ailurophile!

In my family,  there are 2 true ailurophiles:  Kerry and me.  

Everyone else loves "certain" cats - cats that like to curl up in your lap, cats that are predictable, cats that follow the rules of the house.  It's easy to love cats like Momo and Tigger.   

Maddie, however, is a completely different story.  She's not easy for everyone to love. She is extremely independent and unpredictable.  When she decides to curl up in your lap, you feel honored because it doesn't happen very often.  When she's not terrorizing Momo, she's trying to terrorize other family members by jumping at their legs as they walk by or knocking things off the counter.

But Kerry and I love her just the same!  

Maddie is full-grown, but tiny - only 8 lbs.  That's fitting, because she looks and acts like a kitten. It somehow makes her easier to understand.  Kerry calls her "baby cat"  and her favorite thing to say is "Baby cat don't care"!  It's true.  Maddie does what she wants!

Recently, Maddie wasn't putting weight on one of her paws and needed to go to the vet.  Her paw was really swollen.



Maddie didn't understand why she had to ride in the crate - she usually just jumps into the car with the dogs and goes for a ride.  She must have known this was different.




But Maddie wasn't even afraid when we let her out of the crate in the exam room.



  And she just hung out on the scale for a while after being weighed...


Dr. Brown examined her and she was really good!  We were so proud!




 They took her into the back room to shave some of the fur off her paw and check it out, but they didn't find anything suspicious.  After a shot of antibiotics, she was good as new the next day.

Kerry and I had fun together that day at the vet's.  Maddie makes us laugh and we enjoy her so much!

In my opinion, cat owners are tolerant, uniquely willing to see past the flaws of others, nurturing and patient - largely because they have been taught these qualities by cats.

Kerry is working full-time this summer as a nursing assistant.  She is nurturing, patient, tolerant, and willing to see past the problems and flaws of her patients.

I can't help but believe being a cat lover has something to do with these good qualities she possesses. 

ailurophile = cat lover = Kerry

Monday, June 17, 2013

Turning the Page

These past few months have been like reading the end of good book.  One of those books with 1200 pages that you have invested so much time in.  One of those books where you come to know and love the characters so much that you feel they are real.  You've been through their highs and lows, laughed and cried with them, watched they grow and change. Then you get to the last page and you don't want to turn it just yet because you don't want it all to be over.

That's how I have been feeling about the past few months.  I knew I was coming to the end of a certain phase of parenthood.  

I watched Annie march in her last parade.

I watched as she played in her last Hartt Wind Ensemble.

I watched as she played her last solo in the EHS jazz band.

I watched as she passed her last baton in track.

And I watched as she walked off to her last prom.

With graduation just around the corner, I knew this phase of parenting was coming to an end.  I was coming to the end of a very long, emotional, consuming book.  I would turn the last page soon.

 But,
mixed among all of these "lasts" was a "first".



At her last high school band concert, Annie conducted for the first time.


She took her first of many bows to come in a new role.

That is in the next book of my life, however.
And I can't wait to read it!

Friday, June 14, 2013

So Many Changes...

There is a certain peace that comes with stability.  All is well.  My world is good. Predictable.  Safe.

There is an excitement that comes with change.  Growth. Surprise. Goodness that was unexpected.

This past month, there have been a lot of changes.  Most of them good, like the blossoming of my garden, Adam's graduation, Kerry's new job, Annie's upcoming graduation.

But not all change is good.



These are our neighbors, Cindy and Jared.  They have lived across the street from us for the past 5 years.  You might remember them by their pets...

Taylor

Boomer

and, last but not least, Farrah.

When I found out a few months ago that they were moving to Chicago, I was sad.

Cindy was not just a neighbor.  She was is a friend.

We are very different. She is very unique.  Cindy is from New York City.  I don't think I have ever seen her in a pair of jeans (although she wore her pajamas quite often!) When I see her dressed to go out, she is stylish - city stylish. Her nails are always done nicely. Makeup perfect. Her house was always very clean too.  She doesn't have any children other than Boomer, Taylor and Farrah. She and her husband, Jared, live a young, carefree lifestyle.

No matter how different we are outwardly, we are very similar on the inside.  And that is what makes a friendship.  Without even trying, she makes me smile.



They moved to Chicago a few weeks ago and we have new neighbors - a young couple, newly married.  They seem like nice people too.

But I will forever miss Cindy's quirkiness and gentle spirit across the street.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Just a Little Walk

Walking takes longer... than any other known form of locomotion except crawling.  Thus it stretches time and prolongs life.  Life is already too short to waste on speed.  ~Edward Abbey

Kerry has been home quite a lot lately, waiting out the time until her summer job as a nursing assistant begins in Burlington.  So we've had a chance to see her beloved pet, Ravioli, once again.

Ravi has grown so much since we last saw him.  He has grown into a man (we know that because Kerry finally examined him to determine his sex).   And being a grown man, he finally fits into the leash I bought him for Christmas!


Kerry took him on his first walk outside the other day.


 He was very hesitant at first in his new surroundings.  It was a hot day and the stones were nice and warm.


 Ravi really didn't walk very fast until he got to the grass.

 It must have seemed like the forest to him!

 When he got back inside he was tired and out of breath as he posed for pictures on him mom's shoulder.


 It was good to have Kerry and Ravioli home to experience this "first" in his life!