ai·lur·o·phile /īˈlo͝orəˌfīl/

"In my opinion, cat owners are tolerant, uniquely willing to see past the flaws of others, nurturing and patient - largely because they have been taught these qualities by cats."

How true!  

And written by a true ailurophile!

In my family,  there are 2 true ailurophiles:  Kerry and me.  

Everyone else loves "certain" cats - cats that like to curl up in your lap, cats that are predictable, cats that follow the rules of the house.  It's easy to love cats like Momo and Tigger.   

Maddie, however, is a completely different story.  She's not easy for everyone to love. She is extremely independent and unpredictable.  When she decides to curl up in your lap, you feel honored because it doesn't happen very often.  When she's not terrorizing Momo, she's trying to terrorize other family members by jumping at their legs as they walk by or knocking things off the counter.

But Kerry and I love her just the same!  

Maddie is full-grown, but tiny - only 8 lbs.  That's fitting, because she looks and acts like a kitten. It somehow makes her easier to understand.  Kerry calls her "baby cat"  and her favorite thing to say is "Baby cat don't care"!  It's true.  Maddie does what she wants!

Recently, Maddie wasn't putting weight on one of her paws and needed to go to the vet.  Her paw was really swollen.

Maddie didn't understand why she had to ride in the crate - she usually just jumps into the car with the dogs and goes for a ride.  She must have known this was different.

But Maddie wasn't even afraid when we let her out of the crate in the exam room.

  And she just hung out on the scale for a while after being weighed...

Dr. Brown examined her and she was really good!  We were so proud!

 They took her into the back room to shave some of the fur off her paw and check it out, but they didn't find anything suspicious.  After a shot of antibiotics, she was good as new the next day.

Kerry and I had fun together that day at the vet's.  Maddie makes us laugh and we enjoy her so much!

In my opinion, cat owners are tolerant, uniquely willing to see past the flaws of others, nurturing and patient - largely because they have been taught these qualities by cats.

Kerry is working full-time this summer as a nursing assistant.  She is nurturing, patient, tolerant, and willing to see past the problems and flaws of her patients.

I can't help but believe being a cat lover has something to do with these good qualities she possesses. 

ailurophile = cat lover = Kerry

Turning the Page

These past few months have been like reading the end of good book.  One of those books with 1200 pages that you have invested so much time in.  One of those books where you come to know and love the characters so much that you feel they are real.  You've been through their highs and lows, laughed and cried with them, watched they grow and change. Then you get to the last page and you don't want to turn it just yet because you don't want it all to be over.

That's how I have been feeling about the past few months.  I knew I was coming to the end of a certain phase of parenthood.  

I watched Annie march in her last parade.

I watched as she played in her last Hartt Wind Ensemble.

I watched as she played her last solo in the EHS jazz band.

I watched as she passed her last baton in track.

And I watched as she walked off to her last prom.

With graduation just around the corner, I knew this phase of parenting was coming to an end.  I was coming to the end of a very long, emotional, consuming book.  I would turn the last page soon.

 But,

mixed among all of these "lasts" was a "first".

At her last high school band concert, Annie conducted for the first time.

She took her first of many bows to come in a new role.

That is in the next book of my life, however.

And I can't wait to read it!

So Many Changes...

There is a certain peace that comes with stability.  All is well.  My world is good. Predictable.  Safe.

There is an excitement that comes with change.  Growth. Surprise. Goodness that was unexpected.

This past month, there have been a lot of changes.  Most of them good, like the blossoming of my garden, Adam's graduation, Kerry's new job, Annie's upcoming graduation.

But not all change is good.

These are our neighbors, Cindy and Jared.  They have lived across the street from us for the past 5 years.  You might remember them by their pets...

Taylor

Boomer

and, last but not least, Farrah.

When I found out a few months ago that they were moving to Chicago, I was sad.

Cindy was not just a neighbor.  She was is a friend.

We are very different. She is very unique.  Cindy is from New York City.  I don't think I have ever seen her in a pair of jeans (although she wore her pajamas quite often!) When I see her dressed to go out, she is stylish - city stylish. Her nails are always done nicely. Makeup perfect. Her house was always very clean too.  She doesn't have any children other than Boomer, Taylor and Farrah. She and her husband, Jared, live a young, carefree lifestyle.

No matter how different we are outwardly, we are very similar on the inside.  And that is what makes a friendship.  Without even trying, she makes me smile.

They moved to Chicago a few weeks ago and we have new neighbors - a young couple, newly married.  They seem like nice people too.

But I will forever miss Cindy's quirkiness and gentle spirit across the street.

Just a Little Walk

Walking takes longer... than any other known form of locomotion except crawling.  Thus it stretches time and prolongs life.  Life is already too short to waste on speed.  ~Edward Abbey

Kerry has been home quite a lot lately, waiting out the time until her summer job as a nursing assistant begins in Burlington.  So we've had a chance to see her beloved pet, Ravioli, once again.

Ravi has grown so much since we last saw him.  He has grown into a man (we know that because Kerry finally examined him to determine his sex).   And being a grown man, he finally fits into the leash I bought him for Christmas!

Kerry took him on his first walk outside the other day.

 He was very hesitant at first in his new surroundings.  It was a hot day and the stones were nice and warm.

 Ravi really didn't walk very fast until he got to the grass.

 It must have seemed like the forest to him!

 When he got back inside he was tired and out of breath as he posed for pictures on him mom's shoulder.

 It was good to have Kerry and Ravioli home to experience this "first" in his life!

Better Late Than Never

As the commencement procession filed into the field house at Middlebury College last weekend, we were scanning the faces of the young men and women, searching for kids we knew.  We especially didn't want to miss Adam.

We finally spotted Adam.   He wasn't looking our way, but I snapped a picture anyways.

We had seats on the side of the graduates.  When they were all seated, I looked across the aisle and spotted this older gentleman.  He was actually walking beside Adam on the way in and made it into my first picture.

While most of the younger students were waving at their parents getting their pictures taken, he was intent upon taking pictures of the crowd.  He had to put his glasses on to see the screen of his iPhone and in the process had trapped his tassel.  I couldn't help but watch him and wonder what his story was.

In my mind, I wove what I imagined to be his story.  He was probably taking pictures of his family - wife and kids.  His kids were probably college graduates already and very proud of their dad.  As is natural as we age and have been caregivers for much of our lives, it's not in our nature to be the center of attention as it once was when we were in our early 20's.  We take the pictures, not our kids.  If this was a younger student, the camera on their phone would be flipped and they would be taking a picture of themselves with their friends.  He probably didn't even know how to do this, and, sadly, he didn't seem to have any friends.

I wondered how it must have been for him to go to college later in life.  I bet he appreciated it more.  His weekends were probably not spent at parties or other social events.  Was he a full-time student, or did he take classes part-time over the years?  What does he do for work?  Does he have any grandchildren?  I wish I could have talked with him to find answers to my questions.

I missed seeing him actually getting his diploma, but I watched him when he sat back down.  He studied the words solemnly.  Watching him, I felt myself well up with tears.  How different from the young people who raised their diplomas high and chatted with their peers.

Toward the end of the commencement ceremony, the students raised their canes in jubilation, and the older gentleman joined right in.

I didn't see him again after the students filed out of the field house, but he had made an impression on me as I had spent so much time pondering his life during the 2 hour ceremony.

A few days after graduation, Adam mentioned the man to me.  In a news article about the Middlebury commencement, it read:

Among the senior class was one familiar with the challenges that follow college. A member of the Class of 1970, he was a sociology/anthropology major who left Middlebury having completed all his academic work except for his thesis.  Deciding that he wanted his degree, he fulfilled his remaining requirement this year and proudly accepted his diploma with the Class of 2013 at the age of 64.

And with the help of the Linkedin, I have discovered that he is a software sales consultant in the Boston area, utilizing the telephone and web to share the value of the Cloud. 

I guess he really DOES know how to use his cell phone after all!

Middlebury Commencement

George Bernard Shaw once said, "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.  Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."  

My guess is that if he were still alive today Shaw would describe Middlebury students as "unreasonable people".

And so began the address by student commencement speaker Bronwyn Oatley.

Minutes before, the Middlebury Class of 2013 files into their seats in the field house surrounded by their adoring fans armed with iPhones, iPads, cameras and camcorders.

As we watched for Adam, we saw many of his friends.  Barbara had a huge smile for her parents!

Mrig spotted us and gave us a grin.

Finally, we saw Adam's face in a small gap between two other students. 

The field house walls were decorated by 45 flags, representing the nationalities of the graduating class.

Author Jonathan Safran Foer gave the commencement address.  His first novel , "Everything is Illuminated" was the summer reading assignment for for class of 2013 before they arrived on campus back in 2009.  Both humorous and thought provoking, he warned students of the growing intrusion of communications technology on the human experience. He noted how the conveniences of modern ways of communicating make it easy to retreat from the difficult aspects of human relationships.

Diplomas were awarded...

and each graduate also received a cane.

  

In 1819, a co-founder of Middlebury College died and left the college $13,000 and his 4 ft. long wooden cane.  By doing so, he saved the college from financial ruin.

Replicas of that cane are given to each graduate.

With the throwing of the caps, the ceremony ended.

Here's the handsome graduate!

We walked over to the student center where Kerry and Annie had been watching the ceremony on a video screen.

Annie gave her brother a big hug. 

Then Adam posed for a picture with his other sister, oblivious to the other two faces right behind them!

His friends ,Andrew and Jordan, drove up from Connecticut to surprise him!

Then we headed to one of the dining halls for a celebratory luncheon.

Forced inside due to the weather, seating everyone was impossible.  We were so hungry, we chose not to wait for a table!

As we ate, many of Adam's friends came by for pictures!

 We took family pictures too.

Armed with my camera, Adam took me along on one final trip around campus for more pictures with more special people.

This is Jeff.  He came to our house for Thanksgiving last year and we found him to be very sweet and funny.  When we were at the Thai restaurant on Friday, he said something that I found to be very profound.  He said with sincerity, "Adam and I are a lot alike.  What most people find weird, we find to be normal."

I thought about the ways to take this statement.

Either he's saying that he and Adam are weird 

or he's saying that he and Adam don't judge other people. 

I think it's the latter.

They are both truly nice people!

 When a group hug was called for, Jeff protested, stating that it was not good-bye.

But in the end he relented and joined in!

One more "favorite" teacher to visit.  This teacher, after noting Adam's misery with his allergies this spring, actually bought him a neti pot to help him out!

Pictures done, we headed back to Adam's house to pack up.

It was a melancholy ending to a memorable weekend, or I should say,

a memorable four years.

In her commencement address, student Bronwyn Oatley said,

"Though often referred to negatively as "the bubble", I believe it was in this space that I was really able to grow."

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."

"Class of 2013, love wildly, live boldly, and continue to listen to the voices that lead you toward growth.  Class of 2013, follow in the footsteps of the 213 classes of Middlebury students who have walked across this stage.  Class of 2013, continue to be unreasonable people."